Today is the first day (again) of my recovery. I had a sleepless night thinking about all the damage I have caused and relationships ruined, but also trying to identify where I went wrong...
It dawned on me that working in a new area with new bookies available (who wouldn't know me) gave me opportunity - that I managed to avoid for many months.
Then I found a loophole in social media. I had recently rejoined Twitter and found myself able to access "tipsters". This was my trigger. Seeing others tip horses and football and them win, then tracking these accounts and then wanting to get involved myself. Easy money right? WRONG!
Suddenly I was staking large sums on their 'NAPs' which would then lose... Then I started chasing the loss... That's what leads me onto the debt...
Having spent all my disposable income in this within days of being paid. I was left with no money to do anything (still feeling aggrieved about all the money I lost).
Now bare in mind I don't have a good credit due to previous bad experiences with gambling and defaulting on payments and loans.
I tried my luck with a payday loan company... They accepted. I spent all that money within days chasing my losses... Back to square one... Take out another loan... Same again.
Surely I can't take out anymore loans... Surely authorities will see about my poor credit, the fact I have taken out 2 loans in such a small amount of time... Nope, I went on to do this another 2 times. 4 (YES FOUR!) Payday loans I took out in a 2-4 week period. This is the scary part that if I hadn't been found out due to an autofill putting my partner's number on another loan application. I would have been accepted for a FIFTH loan!
Surely this is something government should be looking at and addressing.
Anyway I hope my story can help others, please avoid these scummy loan places that can feed our habits and do so carelessly.
Im a lucky one who was found out before it spiralled into a uncontrollable mess where I'd have been considering the worse possible fate for myself.
You have to have the starting point that whenever something happens it has to start and end with you and your choices. So in short I am saying that however ill we are we still have to accept that we are in charge of who we are what we do and also accept the responsibilities of our actions. That goes for sain people and people who are ill. I went to London yesterday. An x squaddie came in and asked everyone for money. He had ptsd. He wanted money to get to a shelter for the night. Now I can only imagine his background. I know about ptsd. He was more or less run of the train because they thought he was aggressive. I did not agree. He was focused.
So my question now is this. We are all different and I do not judge because I come from the same road as you (literally) Do we accept that we are completely out of control and blame everyone else for our troubles or do we try and stretch our minds like the ptsd squaddie who wanted to get to shelter?
You have about 40% more capacity in your mind when pressed and this has been tested.
So do not accept that you are hopeless and just impulse driven. Fighting this is difficult but not impossible. It is about being mindful and giving focus. There is always something more you can do.
I wish you well!
Best
C
I would suggest reading your post back to yourself few times , you ironically mention at the end that your lucky you got found out before you spiralled into an uncontrollable mess , But if you read the rest of the story carefully you'll begin to understand you already are in an uncontrollable mess
Gambling operators , loan sharks and the government only care about one thing ..... money
If you choose to wantonly blow yours they aren't going to lose any sleep over it
Gamblers seldom want to take accountability for their actions but to have any hope of recovery certainly need too
I often feel like there's quite a 'tough love' approach taken on here by people with the aim of getting you to take accountability so I hope you don't their advice the wrong way. I agree with what others have said regarding the fact that these type of loan companies unfortunately do only care about one thing and ultimately it has to be up to you not to fall into this trap. I think straight after a relapse we often want to blame someone/something else for why it happened but ultimately if we had made the decision not to gamble then that would have been the end of it.
That said, I do think there's a place for criticising and questioning the gambling companies/loan companies that help fuel the addiction. Whilst I'm all for taking accountability for our actions, I agree there should be more done to protect problem gamblers. Unfortunately, the reality is at the moment there are many questionable ways that gambling sites, loan companies etc. can fuel the addiction and it is up to us to have the necessary blocks in place and approaches to help us avoid this.
Have you considered placing a note on your credit file requesting that loan companies do not accept your applications? I've been reading a little bit about this lately as it's something I've been thinking of doing (like you, I've also applied for and been accepted for multiple pay day loans over the course of a couple of days - all spent on gambling).
I hope you're doing okay a few days on from this post?
Hey, well I'm 5 days bet free now and haven't bet since being found out so Gambling wise I am doing ok.
I definitely have taken accountability for it, I just feel that these companies should really look into situations before giving money to anyone. Especially seeing as I took 4 loans out in less than a month ( 2/3 within the space of a week).
I didn't know that was an option on the credit file so that's something I will definitely look into!
How are you doing?
@sb1994 Well done on the past 5 days, glad to hear it's been going okay! I do agree, the same payday loan company allowed me to take 3 separate loans out within the space of a few days and actually advertise that I can apply for more when I log in to check my statements. There should definitely be more to stop this kind of thing happening.
I've now put a notice on my credit file requesting not to be accepted for more credit (not a guarantee, but at least it's another block in place). Experian have a page that explains it (a notice of correction) all quite well.
I'm doing well thanks, it's been 2 weeks today with gambling so feeling fairly positive about that. Just trying to sort out the financial mess from the last relapse!
Keep going!
That's good.
I have too put some blocks in place... I was getting out cash and gambling with cash so removed the ability to take out cash with a withdrawal limit of £0. Also got gambling blocks on my bank.
8 days today for me. Attending regular meetings and getting support. Feel confident about not betting and sorting finances, just need to sort out mending my broken relationship and my general mood.
Keep up the food work mate!
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