Why I am having such trouble stopping completely

Hello Gerard G and Welcome.

You are already touching on the answers but more will become clear when you start a full recovery and start learning about this as a drug addiction and psychological illness.

You need more reality checks and you should tell people you trust what you have been doing 

The drug of anticipation has been pushed upon you and you have experienced how highly addictive it is to many many people 

It's actually a mugs game...a vice and the odds are set well against you. All the risk was really with you....do you think you were ever sticking it to the man? The Dens are covered and they have too much money for it even to be a fair challenge......do you understand? 

When was it ever going to come right for you? I've sunk the price of a house into gambling and more! I gave them my dignity and self respect to become a J****E pushing a button like a laboratory experiment.

I left the door open for one more go but didn't understand that the craving to gamble overtakes the money aspect of it.

During recovery I finally admitted that I never should have gone near gambling. It was my drug of choice to escape from life and even from myself. 

When you are finally ready for your born again moment you will see the light. Abstain, block and reach out the help you need to enforce the cold turkey and begin to heal your mind 

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Thanks so much for this analysis. You are so right. I am ready now. Let the recovery begin!

In the same boat. I always have the intention, I will reduce, then have a mad one and then I’m back to £20-50 a day. Bizarre, but I also see gambling as a release but I’m trying to train my brain to look at sports bets like it does slots, poker and find no interest and realise no long term money being made?!