Well here I am 3rd day of no gambling.
Payday was 31st of May and it was all wasted before that day was even out. I have no idea why I did this or even what I was attempting to achieve. This type of behaviour has been going on for 12 years, along the rocky road I have been distraught and upset, this no longer happens I just become down, or even more down than normal. This time it lead to a period of reflection, the conclusion was that many things need to change some will happen without me realising some will need to be worked on. This is not going to be a short term fix, but a long term plan that needs addressing.
I'm now around 21k in debt overall through various means/methods and have recently struggled to keep up with payments. Throughout my time trying to address this it has always been the money aspect that has been the focus, trying to pay it off as best and as quick as possible. Ultimately if I stop gambling this will all fall into place and be paid off or at least reduced in a quicker space of time.
During the last 3 days I have set myself on the long path back to normality away from this gambling life. I have self excluded from the only online account available, spoken to my manager at work about the issue, called the confidential support line at work with access to conseilling and planned to go to the GA meeting in my area next Thursday. I have also read through some on the GA literature online along with obviously using this website.
I'm struggling a little today just through habit and boredom to be honest. Due to not having any money I'm limited in what I can do with my day, this is one of the things I need to improve on to keep myself busy.
I don't really have anyone to tread this path step by step beside me being a single bloke so I'm going to use this as my assistance.
Previously I've attempted to stop gambling for other people whether it be previous partners or family members, this time I want to do this for myself. It's quite simple as long as I do not gamble within that particular day I shall not gamble again.
Let's see what the future holds!
Thanks for Reading!
Hi
Welcome to the forum. I've been floating in and out for years. I've just had another relapse because I got complacent. When I'm engaged with others and posting on a regular basis the gambling demons seem to stay away. Try to post as much as possible to start with. it's a good way to get things off of your mind and helps with boredom + it's free. It looks like you've taken all the relevant steps to help with your recovery. I like the mantra 'as long as I don't gamble today I won't gamble again.' All the best
West
How do I write my own thread
Jane, you trawl to the bottom and hit the ' newtopic ' button and there you go.
BB, A good start, welcome!. Stepping the path as a single chap is in my experience is ' easier ' . A hard point to articulate but as you tread the path, you'll no doubt find others that you relate to and it becomes akin to Forest Gumps running....
Only without quite so much facial hair hopefully 😉
Welcome to the forum BB & what fantastic steps to have already taken 🙂
You might be Facebook status single but you're definitely not alone & GA will supplement your cyber support with real life support in the 1st instance...Sustained recovery will then turn these helping hands into friendship.
Good for recognising you need to do this for you & I live by your mantra - ODAAT
Day4
Firstly thanks for the comments.
Found yesterday difficult not so much in the gambling aspect just in the way my life is right now. I don't have any money to go out and I'm losing friends constantly, not even directly connected to the gambling. I spent all but a few minutes in bed yesterday as I had no motivation to do anything and quite frankly nothing to do. I spent periods very upset, feeling extremely lonely. I don't value myself very highly therefore have no motivation to do anything for myself, should me not doing something impact someone else then I will go ahead and do it.
But on a positive note it was the champions league final, the French open is on and the Champions Trophy cricket yesterday and I still have my last £10 in my wallet as I did not gamble.
Now I'm onto day 4 of not gambling - not yet completed day 4 but will do. Only really from a habit point of view am I think of gambling just because it's what I normally do. I'm going to try and be a little more productive today even if it's just getting up and going for a walk. I suppose this is a long road where gradual improvement will be made, I just have to be patient as unfortunately that's my one of my best traits.
I was meant to have next week off work but cancelled the annual leave so as to make sure I keep busy.
At least my not gambling I am not making things any worse. Slow progress but have to start somewhere. The struggle is real but so is the recovery.
Enjoy your Sunday!
Sorry to hear your feeling low but you hit the nail on the head by saying 'at least my not gambling I am not making things any worse' and this is all we can do. Don't get me wrong I'm still up and down to the extreme but as long as I'm not giving in I have the reassurance that things will get better. Good plan yo keep busy too! Take care of yourself during this journey S 🙂
Reading your recovery diary a lot of your story mirrors mine. I'm also in a lot of debt but like you say as long as you don't gamble the debts will take care of themselves. Don't worry about trying to pay your debts off quickly. Set up a manageable automatic payment plan and try and forget about them. If your debts are overwhelming there is free debt help available from the likes of the citizens advise & the national debt line who can help you set up a manageable repayment plan. I use to think once my debts were paid off I'd be fine but I've realised I don't have a money problem I have a gambling problem. Focus on staying gambling free and let the other problems sort themselves out. I also had my last bet on 31st May so I look forward to seeing your future posts as our journeys progress in parallel. Keep taking it one day at a time, & focus on the bright future ahead of you.
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