22/12/12 A new start

Iv'e just spent the last 2 hours at the gym reading stories about gambling - I'm so scared I will start gambling again. Ocasionally I get the feeling in my brain to go to the casino. I need to find something to distract me, an activity, anything to stop me gambling again. I know deep down I could change my mind just like that. I was gambling this morning so why not just risk some more. Thinking about how I will feel if I lose the lot is just about stopping me. I feel sick inside but am trying to think ahead to better times

Hi

All I can say is at the end of the day you are the only one who can decide. You know you will lose and if not this time it will happen eventually.

For someone who is able to write in such an educated way I am surprised you cannot see through this ridiculous gambling lark. It's a mugs game and anyone who thinks they can win long term are just deluding themselves - and I was one of the deluded gang for far too long.

On top of the fact you will lose you are also abusing the trust of your partner and are setting things up to give your forthcoming baby the worst possible start.

The casino will happily take your £20,000 you have left and after they have it will not wish to see you again.

As I said its your choice and I just hope you wise up and make the right one and stop being so selfish!

Best wishes for a well intended member.

Dave

Hi Ben

I gambled this morning and lost all the money I have. I have been looking into a program called bet filter which have an 8 day trial you can test out. They seem to have really good reviews. Would this kind of thing be useful for you or do you gamble offline?

I agree completely with what you say Dave, It is time I quit gambling for good. I am lucky to have had a good education and should use that for a better life than gambling. Therefore, I must stop now because I will never win in the long run.

I do feel so upset that I am abusing the trust of my partner. I want my child to respect me- and the only way to do that is to work hard and never gamble again.

I am such a selfish human being. I always put myself first and never consider others feelings. I also feel I am immature and must now grow up. I just want everything to come so easy in life without having to work for it. I just want everything instantly- I now realize that is not how life works.

Thanks for your comments. You sometimes need to be told the hard truth. Now I must not take the easy way out.

I'm sorry to hear that Freyalove- I really hope you stop gambling forever and lead a happy life. Honestly, I don't know if that will help. I have an i-phone, and would always be able to find a way -so if I really want to gamble I can access it.

I currently have the right mindset and am unlikely to gamble for the next week or much longer. What worries me is when my finances improve and I get comfortable, or unexpected stress when thinking I have beaten the addiction. Just 1 lottery ticket could start me off again. I spent this evening watching the series Peep show with a glass of wine. I was a little concerned the alcohol may spiral my thinking, but I shall 'touch wood' that I finish today gamble free. For some reason, I always manage to sleep well. x

Hi again Ben

I think most people who gamble think they will win and in doing so its beats working for cash hands down. The big drawback is it can't be done as long term the odds always favour the bookie.

In its simplest terms if we won they would go bust and they never do - infact more shops keep appearing and casinos get bigger and bigger - and this is during one of the biggest recessions we have ever been through.

It's a shame as the buzz from gambling is great especially when you get a win but the win is merely a temporary loan which always gets paid back with interest.

If it were me I would give stick your house deposit in a savings book and give the book to someone you can trust and confide in until you need it - my fear is if you don't it will be gone within a matter of weeks.

You only ever need to worry about not gambling today as today is all there is to concern ourselves with.

Dave

I agree 1 day at a time is the only way. On Monday I will transfer most of it to an account I cannot easily access until completion. That will give me extra security, but yes I do need reminding that I may gamble it all away in the next few weeks. I need to realize it is not all my money and how important getting this flat is to us.

Right well I sign off today gamble free. Good night everybody - here's to a new start tomorrow

Ben I know that you will sleep well tonight in the knowledge that tomorrow is a better happier day for you as will I. Hold your wife close as you are gifted to have her! I am pleased that you are starting on the same mission as I and even though are stories may differ all of our problems are the same. BUT they WILL be defeated! I look forward to reading more from you 🙂 Best wishes, Freya

Well I have a busy day today- I have work till 12, then got lots of organizing and tidying to do before my partner gets back from abroad. Hopefully, by keeping busy any thoughts to gamble will disappear. There is still part of my brain that wants to gamble, but I'm using all my strength to resist that. I know I must not get complacent, however I do feel better today. I found this poem that you may have heard of, I learnt it off by heart and currently call on it if I get an urge to gamble.The first 4 lines help to keep me moving forward to a better time.

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Morning and a great verse you have posted.

I am a big believer and draw strength from above not just for this but for lots of things. My favourite verse is:-

Come to me, all you who labour and are heavily burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me

Matthew 11 v29

When you think of gambling picture yourself losing and recreate how you feel after a loss.

Just today to get through buddy. Don't let me down please.

Dave

It is true that we must learn from others mistakes and hope others learn from us. What I really hated about gambling was the uncertainty just before a big bet. Even when I won I felt disgusted that I was willing to risk so much on something I had little control of. The loss was horrible, but the feeling when you decide to bet thousands at an online casino, on the turn of a card makes me feel sick. When I lost I felt numb and almost relieved it was over. It may sound strange, but I know I won't gamble today- I'm more worried about that time in the future when I relax and think I have beaten it. My mind is in the right place now- but I know there will come a time maybe in 10 days, 20 days, 100 days, 1000 days when I will really need to call on all my willpower to resist that 1 bet that could start me off again. Thanks for your support. It really helps knowing people want me to succeed in this battle.

Hi Ben, i am also 27 y and have similar problem. I am starting today, and the best thing you can do is block and selfexlude permanently from all websites, move money from your credit card to some another bank account without card and most important is that whenever you have feeling about gambling, remember that even if you win, you lose itt all again while trying to win more. So you never win, and why waste your hard earned money for nothing? Stay strong and fight.

Peter

I have stayed strong today- occasional thoughts of gambling occur but I do my best to ignore them and keep repeating that poem. I will stay strong. I'm trying not to think about the money I have lost and think about what I can change. I will beat this, I must beat it.