A better future starts now

Thank you for your post gambling girl , this site is also a great help for me , it's made me realise I need to start dealing with things head on instead of using slots to escape ....I wish you well and hopefully we will beat this .

Today is day 40 ,the days are starting to mount up and it feels great .... The past few days have been very stressful and hard ( not gambling related ) but hopefully by dealing with the problem it may be a little better .. But for how long is the question? .. Like stopping gambling I need to take it a day at a time , everyday is different ups, downs and the past few days have definitely been downs .... I've been told that today could be a good day , suns shining and pools out for the kids and my brother is out in the garden ,so I will go down and enjoy today .

You go and enjoy your big 40 they say life begins at 40 don't let them kid you life begins at day 1,enjoy ever day have a great day in the sun.

KTF

Thanks KTF 🙂

Well it's day 42 and what a week it's been , just when I thought it couldn't get any worse , stressful or hard .... I was wrong .... It was a horrible day yesterday resulting in spending the night in A&E then ITU , all those feelings I had on the day of my brothers accident came back .... Today was a good day with a positive result but the worry is always there , reality has hit hard that he is very vulnerable and can deteriorate within minutes ..... It's a good job we were there and know him well to know that somethings not right because it would of been a different story ...... As far as gambling goes it's the last thing on my mind

Day 45 ..... My stress levels were pretty high last night with all that's going on ,I did for the first time get the urge to gamble last night and I'm sure if I had access to my bank card and had no blocks in place I would of followed through with it . My mind was in overdrive last night and it took my until 4am to eventually get to sleep , I watched a few films to help try and take my mind off everything , it helped a little , I'm just so pleased all the blocks are in place as I know exactly how bad I would be feeling right now , playing slots may have distracted me for a few hours but the consequences of doing so is not even worth thinking about .

I'm not sure if I ever want my bank card back ,the way I feel right now I can't ever trust myself as all it takes is that one moment of madness and i could lose everything .

After writing that down and thinking about what could of happened I feel a small sense of relief...... It's scary how that urge to play just comes out of no where and bites you on the ars@ ... I suppose its a sharp reminder that this will always be an on going battle and I can never let my gaurd down .

Anyway I'm not gona dwell on the what ifs and keep focusing on my small targets the first been 50 days 🙂

Day-46 .... Feeling a lot better the day as the brother is coming home 🙂 no thoughts of gambling since that moment of madness the other night ...... All is good ,at least for today anyway but atleast that will get me though another day..... A day at a time and all that 🙂

Day 48 - yesterday was one of those days where everything just seemed to P**s me off , I was in a right mood with my little self ,my head was well and truly stuck up my back side , there wasnt any pacific reason as to why I felt like that as nothing bad had happened , well yesterday that is anyway .... Never mind I feel a lot better today but I do hate days like that and its really hard to snap out of it and I get very snappy and irritable .. Not a good feeling .

I've not had any thoughts of gambling ,I'm quite surprised by that especially the way I was feeling yesterday , I'm not complaining though !

Anyway I want to wish everyone well during their recovery and stay strong we can do this 🙂

Day 49 and in 10 minutes it will be day 50 🙂 I know it's not just about the days mounting up but it does make you feel good and gives you more determination to do this , well it does for me anyway lol. Feeling quite good today considering everything that's going on . It was payday today and it felt great to actually buy the rest of the kids school uniform using cash and to pay most of the bills , plus an added bonus .... Been able to give the father in law money to put away for xmas :):):) I can't remember the last time I was ever able to do that as normally most of the pay would be paid straight out to payday loans . Ano it's only August but only 4 pay days left for us until xmas and I want to make it a good one .... My kids deserve it .

Stay strong everyone

Happy Hawaii day.

Can't think of a better reason to make sure you stay gamble free. To spend the money on your family by having a great Christmas.

KTF

Woo hoo day 50 🙂 ... Here's to the next 50 and the next and so on and so on , hopefully a future without gambling !

Even if I wanted to it would be impossible for me to anyway ,to many blocks in place .... But I wouldn't want it any other way , I don't miss my bank card one bit , if ever I need something my OH just gives me the cash or gives me the card to order off line but then he gets it straight back ..... Why the hell didn't I do this a lot sooner , it could of saved a lot of heart ache and money .... Ah wey there's nout I can do about that now .... But I can change the future and I will give it my all to try and make sure it's a better one .

Here's to a better future 🙂

Thanks KTF your support is really appreciated 🙂 and your so right .... For the past few year I have hated xmas as I was so stressed out and worried about how I was going to manage as I had selfishly blown all the money on online slots , how the hell did I let myself do that ,I'm disgusted at myself .....not this year though I owe it to my family to make it the best ever , plus it will be the first xmas home for my brother so even more special 🙂

Thank you again as its people like yourself that give me inspiration to do this 🙂

Day 55 .... Plodding along ok with not gambling and life in general

Taking each day as it comes , stay strong everyone:)

Wow day 80 all ready 🙂 I'm finding my self thinking less about playing online slots which can only be a good thing ..... Life in general has been very hectic and stressful , more hospital visits which has added extra worry to the constant worry I feel everyday , but the difference between a few month ago and now is that I'm dealing with it all head on and not using the slots to escape .....

Payday today and the fact I can now actually start and put money away each month for the kids for Xmas is such a great feeling and I'm determined to give them a great one as they deserve it .

Stay strong everyone

Day 130 .... Feeling so much better in myself , the old me is slowly starting to come back and it feels really good ..... The past 4 weeks have been extremely stressful and full of worry ( nothing to do with gambling ) but hopefully all will be ok , but I feel very proud of my self that I never give in and even thought about playing the slots just to help block it all out ...... All blocks still in place so even if I wanted to I could never of followed though with it , family life has also improved , things are great between myself and my partner and I feel like my kids now have 100% of my attention .... How bad does that sound , gambling takes so much more from you then money doesn't it ? ..... Really looking forward to Xmas this year , my brother will hopefully be home from hospital and hopefully it will be the first time in a few year that it will be a stress free one and I can actually enjoy the day with all the family .

Stay strong all

Hi Kirstbob,

Well done on your continued journey to a better life. Unfortunately it dishes out usual ups and downs but we have a choice right, you are doing it and making the right one everytime the curveball is being thrown your way.

Stay true to you, it can only make you stronger ☺

Keep on keeping on

S x

Thanks hopeful soul 🙂

Day 100 and odd , I can't quite remember exactly what lol but Still plodding along , all blocks still in place wish I did this along time ago ... Giving my partner full control of my account and debit card ... I have no idea what any of the card numbers are as I got a new one and give it to him unopened .... This was a must for me as a knew my old one off by heart , no access to PayPal as only my partner knows the password and no mobile phone , so it's pretty much impossible for me to gamble even if I got an urge but it's the best thing I did and for me the only way to beat this as I still wouldn't trust my self if ever the urge was strong .as each day passes I feel a little better in myself but I can still remember how bad you feel after a session playing and losing on the slots and I don't want to feel like that again , especially not after how far I've came .

If anyone reads this and they are just starting out ,please stay strong and focussed as the reward of feeling so much better and happier in yourself is worth so much more then gambling and thinking your gona win a few quid .

Stay strong all 🙂