A Writer's Tale.

In your word's dave it's time to stop being a coward. Now is the time to start working on happy

Will look forward to seeing you progress

Deano

Thanks Deano. Already looking forward to writing Day 2 tomorrow.

I look forward to day 2's post - I think we are both founder members of the coward club.

Hey Buddy,

Hope you are doing well tonight,

I'm right glad you have come on in and started a diary, it'll truly help,

I completely get the life empty feeling you have and how gambling temporarily fills that void.
But it's not a real high, it's fake, a drug. It does more harm than good,
People like you and I, will probably always be compulsive gamblers, we cannot change that, but we can choose not to act upon it. Everyday we must say "Today I won't gamble" and really try and adhere to that.
Somedays it'll be harder than others, but it will get easier, even in the 64 days I'm currently on, it seems to be getting a lot easier than the first week of abstaining, but I know my guard must always be up.

I thought about it long and hard, and thought I enjoyed gambling, in fact even loved it.
But even if I do/did, I love my Fiancee much more. And letting her down, losing her just isn't an option - And I'm sure it's the same for you,

There are many success stories, Mr Brightside, JamesP, Duncanmac to name but a few, proving life really does get truly better without the crutch of gambling - If you see any of their diarys give them a read. Loads of great advice in them buddy,

I truly wish you all the very best on your journey,
Drew

Hi Dave,

Good luck, i found your post like someone holding a mirror up! your words are inspiring and a girlfriend that clearly loves you.

You can do it!

Rob

Thanks Drew - a lovely and encouraging post.

Rob - Literally just commented on your post. Stay frosty, stay in touch.

Hi Dave

My gambling certainly allowed me to hide from my real life. The more I hid, the more real life seemed scarier.

Addicts are repressed emotionally. Gambling is a way of numbing out, a way of repressing our emotions and difficult thoughts.

Once you stop gambling you will realise you are entereing a new world. You have more time, you have stronger emotions, you will probably have a lot more energy.

As you correctly note, you need to harness all of these powerful changes into doing positive stuff. Otherwise it can become overwhelming and then, guess what happens.....run away!

I now try to considder what my values are and consciously take action in pursuit of those values. This might sound like pscyh speak but it's really helpful. Pursuing your values basically means living the life you've always wanted to live. This is what 'healthy' people have hardwired into them - but I need to do this more consciously.

Gambling causes our world to become very small. We stop doing what's important to us. It's important to start pushing back the boundaries of our comfort zone if we are to live a rich and meaningful life.

Best wishes

Louis

Thanks Louis, a really insightful post and definitely something I agree with.

Here's Day 2:

Currently sat in the pub drinking a £2.20 pint. Feel guilty for spending money I don't have, but I figure the damage is done and there's no point dwelling on it. Besides, it's the GF's day off and she wanted to come out. No point restricting her enjoyment because of my folly.

Had a cracking nights sleep last night. Massive lie-in. Feel better taking steps forward but very aware of how easy it is to fall - I've been here before!

Hope you're all have a good, strong day. Rob, if you're out there, man, I hope you're well.

DG

Note to self: Feeling attacked, unloved or unappreciated is a massive trigger. Find a way to deal with this.

Day 3:

Have spent most of the day lazing around recovering from a hangover. No gambling, but it's easy at the minute - no money = no triangle.

I'm dreading my negative bank balance tomorrow.

Positives: Off to a BBQ in a few hours. Job interview tomorrow. Still alive and fighting the fight.

Hope you're all well, folks. Stay frosty.

DG

Day 4:

Tough day today. Fell out with the GF as soon as I'd opened my eyes because she insisted on reminding me that the last time I went for a job interview I ended up gambling (badly).

How's that for a positive start to the day?

Interview went well but I've spent £15 out of my last twenty getting there and back. Also check my PayPal activity and realised I'd spent more than I remembered on Thursday night.

All in all, feel naff.

Hope everyone is staying strong.

DG

Day 5:

Second interview for the job confimed! Should be able to make it there and back with my last fiver.

Job centre tomorrow. Anything I get paid will just fall into the debt void.

Hideous.

It's a good job that sunshine is free!

DG

hi mate,

quick check on youre diary, almost upto a week now, which is really good.
Good luck with the 2nd interview, i wish you all the best for that and youre recovery.
ben