Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Hey duncs,

Thanks for all your support over the last 10 days!!

You have been very positive and helped keep me going! I have read the last few pages over your diary but I will go back and try to get as much advise from you thread as many other people have. You truly do deserve where you are today and wish you all the best in the future.

Thanks again

Martin.

Morning diary.

Thanks for all your support and yes Charlotte I am missing my Sarah big time and she's only been gone 20 hrs!!!

Rach it's Portsmouth not plymouth nearly lol, I think the days of those companies are numbered, well I hope they are.

So Sarah has gone for a week of pampering at my Mums which I hope they have a great time. The dogs are delighted as they got one side of the bed, I can see a power struggle there next week lol, but seriously what a difference recovery has made, I know she can go and chill out and just enjoy herself and I have a busy couple of weeks as we are catering a festival over the bank holiday with a stall and it's all hands on deck getting the stuff prepared. Then it's Joe and my turn to let our hair down at the Great dorset steam festival for a few days, and I can't wait, it is always a barrel load of fun and mum promised the rains of last year will not be coming!!!! lol we saw folk lose welly boots it was so muddy, but rest assured even if it does pour the company and the cider and real ale more than make up for it.

So today I woke to my addiction whispering, she's away go on treat yourself!!!

Oh I will my friend, last night Joe had a fellow poet round for supper and I enjoyed more performance stuff then we endured the worst game of scrabble ever!!! oh dear two uni students and a well travelled chef and pitifull lol, we are re conviening tomorrow for another try.

So I am aware that the thing that stole so much of my life thinks this week there is a weakness in the resolve I have, well I am stick in hand ready to face him down, as today I do not fear him, I respect the fact.

That my name is Duncan McQuilken I am a compulsive gambler No bet since 23/01/2012.

Stepping forward never back.

Afternoon diary.

It is with sadness i write again upon my thread this afternoon. The diaries on the forum are For individuals to write whatever they like upon there own thread.

We may not agree with what folk say but they have a right to post whatever they feel aids recovery.

If talking about the life that abstinence gifts that is there preference, if it's about still gambling then so be it.

Why can't each just go about there own recovery without being judged.

After all the guardians of this forum pointed that out.

It is 'gamcare'

Please respect it.

I read today about twitter and a golfer who got into an argument with some trolls over his performance.

When questioned as to why they were so offensive toward him the reply was.

'that's what we do!!'

Please lets not lower the tone of this wonderful place.

A place were everyone should feel welcome.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncan

I dont know why you write with sadness and why you think my post has 'lowered the tone' of the Forum.

I was merely expressing an opinion based on a period of observation. As with all opinions, one expects some agreement and some disagreement.

Captain.

At no point did i say your post lowered the tone, i said lets not lower the tone. Meaning lets not derail people from posting what helps there recovery.

I posted to try to prevent a repeat of the last opinion you posted about. Which did affect the forum.

I don't want to see a repeat of the fallout.

One person waited too long for a reply as i believe folk were avoiding the forum.

This is surely the most important thing.

As we have both been in need of support.

Duncs.

I post on my own diary as this is my choice to keep this to my thread.

Duncan

Not sure which opinion of mine you refer to. There are many opinions expressed on here, up to each individual whether they feel a need to reply or comment on them or not. I see many opinions posted which I disagree with but dont post about.

Think you are making a big mountain out of a molehill here.

I will say this if one person is compelled to write they are considering not writing as they have been grossly affected then it is a mountain and the risk is that person could be stuck up it.

As i said your diary is full of debate one of which spilled onto another diary which encouraged them to gamble.

This has happened i see more than once after in your three years here so i do choose not to partake in these debates.

Today once again i am saddened that another person was affected.

Recovery has gifted me humility to care for other folk as when i gambled i do know i became one selfish a**e#hole.

Duncs.

Duncan

I receive many posts saying they value my diary and posts and the debate it brings. Also posts that indicate that whether a person reads something on a diary or elsewhere it is up to that individual whether to act on the information written or advertised.

I read many things on here that if so inclined I could follow what the poster has done or suggested. I choose not to.

Absolutely your choice whether to become involved in debates or not. I choose not to become involved in many of the conversations on here.

Suggest conversation over and not allow any differences in behaviours and opinions we have to take any more energy on here.

Captain

as i posted i was never in conversation. Just replying to my own thread an entitlement of mine.

Funny i today wish that gamcare had No edit facility.

Because a post in it's original form at 12.37pm was far more vociferous than the new edited version.

Each to there own diary.

Me i will continue to support and value the support of the forum.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Guys....Duncs.....Captain...

I believe it's all escalated from my reflection to the post....please don't argue about it.

i shouldn't react how i did, i will get over it in time. I'm just too sensitive to things, it triggers low esteem in me very quickly...

This forum was very helpful to me, new found life and FRIENDS which i will appreciate for the rest of my life. Thank you for all your support.

I'm not worth your argument, i will be back....i will keep reading, i care about you all.

Take care please

((((((((((((all)))))))))))

Sandra x

Duncan

I have much respect for all the good work you do on this Forum.

Your last post however just leaves me smiling in bewilderment.

All that was required earlier in the day was a simple response saying 'captain, in my opinion, everyone should be allowed to post what they want on their own diary'.

Guys...

Let's all take a step back and a deep breath here. Remember - in some way we are all in this together. Every person may use the forum in different ways and for different reasons, but ultimately this is a community where everyone is here to help one another. That two of its key contributors are at logger-heads isn't nice for anyone to see.

In my mind, people can use their diary to write whatever they want. Others may find this mundane/irrelevant - whatever, but it is their diary. There is no script, no rules, as to what people can and can't talk about, and no-one should ever hold back in sharing thoughts and feelings, provided they are not offensive or distasteful. If 'rambling' about other things in life helps that person 0.000000001% to get through their recovery, then it can only be a good thing.

By the same token, whilst I disagree with your approach Cap, I completely respect your right to do things that way. Your diary is generally compelling, and even if I sometimes find it frustrating, it's your prerogative to write what you want.

My point here is that this forum loses its validity when people turn upon each other. It shouldn't descend into some back and forth about what's right and what's wrong. Certainly, no-one should ever feel tentative or scared to write something, particularly on their own page.

Wasn't quite sure where to write this... but I guess everyone will see it on Duncs page.

D123

Captain.

Maybe we look at recovery in a different way.

I will draw a line under this for my own benefit.

I did read the post and choose not to dignify it with a response as I believe silence speaks volumes.

I responded to a post made on Sandra's diary not yours as I felt again like your post on tomso's diary before that the impact on that person could be affected as I have followed both diaries from the start and would be devastated to think that there recovery could be derailed.

I posted in support, I did not post an opinion, not wanting a debate. I simply posted as I know how venerable this addiction makes us.

I came here 18 months ago a broken man and through this forum and GA my abstinence has brought nothing but a better life.

I value constructive debates in GA face to face they often happen and help to educate.

Today your thread was not about education.

If you poke a dog with a stick often enough he will bite you back.

I did not wish to waste my time posting about this subject as it is on my thread wasting valuable space.

Not one of my posts has ever been edited and they will not.

Duncan.

Duncan

I am now not only smiling but laughing. Unbelievable the reaction I have provoked from you. Over and out.

Dear diary.

I wrote earlier about a story I read about trolls whom use twitter to evoke reactions for there own morbid pleasure.

There is no feeling like being set up for a fall.

I refuse to be goaded into a war of words.

I am glad I entertain, raise a smile and some laughter as recovery needs that.

So I shall as always

step forward never back.

Duncs.