Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Afternoon Dunc.

Not posted on your page for a while.

I can only echo various other posts. I'm here because you are!!!

Stay strong,

gazza

Afternoon Diary,

Not been around much the past few days, had a disasterous start to the week, I have worked for the past three weeks sorting al the logistics for a food stall this weekend at a festival, menu's compiled, cook offs done, menu's printed, food ordered and started to prep stuff, to find out late on monday that the fella running the festival wants a staggering 1050 quid for the pitch up front and it has been moved to another area in the festival, on a six foot table with no power point!!!!! ok I did not check the cost for the stall the silent partner, who was getting a 33% cut of the profits for the use of his name assured us it was all sorted, the organiser is mate!!!! Well as you can imagine the toys did get thrown out of the pram!!!

Sad thing is I had already allocated the cash, to repay some debt and have some spends for me and Joe at the steam fair, to which we head to on monday for the week.

I cancelled the whole thing, then embarked on a mission to rescue the damage caused, suppliers had done me favours, and needed telling, my hired help needed unhiring!!

Whilst all this was going on my addiction was having a field day, f****k em duncs, go punt yourself back to the top!!!

Well I did the sensible thing, the thing that recovery has taught me, be honest with folk, I spoke with Sarah and my Ma, we will have a tight September but in Sarah's words 'we've been in bigger holes!!'

So I will get to the fair next week, forget about life for a few days and enjoy victorian living. In great company and with a few ales.

I have sorted a new contract for work from the 1st of october until christmas for a great salary, to which my goal of 2013 will be achievable, the bulk of the debt caused by my gambling will be paid off.

Today marks 19 calendar months gamble free, it has been a journey of discovering myself and what I can do, if only I dont give into my addiction, which still knocks the door frequently, trying to tempt me back at it.

Today I would give this advice to anyone who wants to hear it.

To not have a Bet is enough, on days when all else is falling down around you, to hang onto the fact that just for today you wont join the madness, just for today you will remain gamble free is Enough.

Use those days to build your resolve, use those days to open all the doors your addiction shut, to build a wall between you and that next bet.

To just not have a bet is all recovery asks of you, from it the gifts are amazing, they don't all cost you money, the best ones are free, that smile that you get from your missus, the one that say's nothing but speaks volumes. that for me is my salvation.

You will take from this what you put in.

Today I made a choice, No bet today.

My name is duncan Mcquilken I am a compulsive gambler No bet since 23/01/2012

Stepping forward never back.

Yo,

Duncs you never cease to inspire me , sorted stuff out and turned the whole situation around .

Any how enjoy the steam show , remember you going last year and what a great time you had .

Hope it's great weather and that you and Joe have a fantastic time .

Shiny xxx

Duncs

Consider that a test that you passed with flying colours !!!!

What a week! And all that effort too..

I'm having an eye opener myself as to how hard you guys work..I thought my 60 hour a week incl travel was a big chunk of life dedicated to my main job..but you guys deserve a medal ..living and breathing the job. One of our chefs clears 90 hrs a week and lives in..

I am at Greene Kings finest ! ..lol

How do you cope in the heat???

Anyhoo...salutations sir ....I applaude how you handled this ..you dealt with it...and that's all that matters..put it down to experience ..write off any losses as lessons learned and put it behind you my friend !!!

Remember how Castle did the same over briefs bill? ..write it off..

What I think is for the relatively small monetary amount that may have gone just think about what you have learned about people !!!!.. Priceless!!! ..once bitten and all that.

hey !! I know my check offs from my checkovs ....lol

My waitressing skills are getting a workout once more and I do not steal chips whilst the chefs are prepping up...honest!!!

R and D ..xxx

Ps ...if you see "Sally" at the steam fair from Ruthin in Wales say "hi" to the guys ....green Caravan ,flat caps and amazing sheepdogs! Xx

Hi Dunc's.. yes, well done to you for getting through this event unscathed. You did the right thing by being honest and you coped with the financial fallout. Well done that man. I hope that the rest of your bank holiday weekend and beyond runs a little smoother. Regards... S.A 🙂

Hey Duncs,

Thank you for so uplifting post. I'm so pleased you got through some of the problems recently. Hope you have a fantastic weekend and enjoy every minute of it:-)

P.s.Dilemma solved - it stopped raining lol

Sandra x

Afternoon diary.

Rach that last post raised a smile, I shall keep an eye out for that engine. I am really looking forward to a few days steaming. Truly a haven for the compulsive gambler. No distractions just a chill out and this year courtesy of my Ma and Ed we sleep in comfort!!! Lol i hope my snoring is contained to the inside of the caravan or will it act like a huge harmonica !!!!

Today something strange happened that has left me a tad miffed. I received a text message from a high street bookmakers inviting me to enjoy the benefits of there mobile gambling ap to which they would gift me £50 for installing. Now i have received over the last 19 months many emails from various gambling institutes to which i assume are generic spam type mail as they are never personal.

Todays text started 'Duncan' now how has this come about??

I have never gambled online or via a telephone in my life. All my gambling was done in a shop, I never during my gambling life disclosed my identification when offered any loyalty sceme cards i would dismiss them as unnecessary.

So how did, why did a high street bookmakers pick my phone to text??

The sceptical person in me says wow addiction knows no bounds. Is somebody having a laugh at my expense?? Who gave my information to these folk??

I will never find out because my phone has a security block on it that means even if i wanted to access the site i could not due to the age restrictions the phone company has in place. Something that was on the phone when i signed up to my current network. Is this a new tactic that bookmakers are using?? If so i am scared of the effect that will potentially have on some folk.

This brought me to log on and top up my resolve, the gift of mobile internet. The only reason i have internet access on my phone. And as the public library is the only other place i use the internet to which i know has the same access blocking as my phone, internet gambling will remain an alien concept to me.

Today it set my mind to thinking about those statistics of three out of a hundred folk whom walk through the doors at my GA make it to a gamble free year, something I would love to see raised. So a quick check of the recovery diaries and I found that since the start of this calendar year there has been circa five hundred threads posted, to which one third are threads which are duplicate or secondary threads to existing members and out of the remaining threads nearly one hundred have less than five posts on them, often only one of those posts being written by the author, so that's 20% of new diaries don't get off the ground.

Why write this?? For my own mind, my own resolve.

I am a fella who was for a great deal of years obsessed by numbers. I could calculate sums divisible by 35 in a heartbeat, I would obcess over this, kidding myself that i would find a winning formula. Well funny because i have found the winning formula. Abstinence. No system could work as i simply could not stop, blinded by a power beyond my every belief.

So today I like to crunch numbers for a different reason, is the compulsion to gamble really winning the war by a rate of 97 to 3!! Surely not. But the numbers don't lie. I wish they did, not by one or two percent either.

f**k i wish there was a sum, a calculation that would work in our favour.

I refuse to be downtrodden by this, I will not accept it as the given. I know there are many whom share the same passion for recovery and the quest to swell the ranks of recovering compulsive gamblers remains relentless. Through GA I learnt early the recovery doors revolve, once opened it never shuts, there is always a chair waiting for whomever wants to sit in it, here I know the same too.

We did not i believe choose to become compulsive gamblers, that addiction choose us, we are all different, united through the havoc and destruction that addiction waged. But we all do share one common goal.

A better life.

For me again today the addiction played dirty, tried an untested water, well I had that avenue covered.

So my resolve to enjoy recovery unwavered.

I wish the same to all of you.

There is a way.

Abstain and maintain

My name is Duncs i am a compulsive gambler No bet today.

Stepping forward never back.

f**k f**k f**k Duncs

Apologies for my limited vocabulary. The conspiracy theorist in me regarding that text would know No bounds.

But what did grab me was what you said regarding numbers. I spoke about your good self to a chap at work as im quite open to my demon(s).

Rarely band the word inspire about much but you Duncs really do. You've a fantastic pool of genes there and looking to the future can see a poet laureat and future prime ministers. A English version of the Kennedy clan.

Enjoy your break and strength

Hello Duncanmac

Thankyou for the post on my diary.

I just read your most recent post and found it both informative and chilling.

What I am most terrified of at the moment is complacency and coming here and reading posts like that is invaluable.

To be the top 3% in any field almost almost always requires total dedication rather than pure natural talent, and beating this is going to take dedication.

To use the analogy of a top athlete my 'training' will be coming here every day I can, and my 'diet' will be eternal vigilance!

James

Just read the last several pages on your diary. I was most impressed by your ability to "not cave" when you had the festival difficulties. I also felt some anguish when you questioned your belonging on the forum. I can only reiterate what many before said. You're an inspiration and a great help to many of us! Were it not for people like you who have managed to stay gamble free for an extended period, I probably would have given up by now. You rock!

morning Gamcare.

Well again my resolve is topped up thanks to the good folk here. my glass is truly half full. Today through open eyes, not blinded by addiction I can see what i have is top draw.

for that i do thank this forum because reading threads like sad g's and SA's show me what a gift abstinence is.

oh yes we can all find fault in our lives, the old

woulda coulda shoulda

but to that i say what's the point, I made my bed and I will enjoy laying in it, there are as they say two sides to every coin.

This last week GA has been at the forefront of my mind.

As i have said many times i am not sure if my room is an exception to the rules because there is no underlying motive, no religious sect or cult. no hand holding happy clappy brigade it is this.

a room of like minded folk who share the knowledge abstinence brings. they tell it how it is. I have made some folk who i can count upon, they want nothing in return, as they have for me learnt a new value to life. There are times when we talk for two hrs about internet gambling, something irrelevant to me, but just as important to the room. For two hours a week you get to take what suits you and leave the rest. physically you can see the change, when i first went unshaven and wearing a worn out look that putting gambling before anything else gifted me to today when i walk in head held high because i through that room got my self esteem back.

maybe those statistics are there to scare folk off, f**k it took me twenty years at it to find out the room was there for me.

That is GA for me in a nutshell.

a room For belief, not anything other than belief in yourself.

So I take what's said many times to new members of the room and post it here. Give it 90Days or twelve weeks, if you don't feel different about life after twelve weeks then fair play you gave it a chance, 24 hrs of your time against the hours you gave addiction. a pretty amazing return for a small outlay, with greater potential than many a bet you have had.

After 90 days I had enjoyed so many light bulb moments i kept going back

my religion has not changed i still don't have one, my outlook on my life has. Me i wish the same for anyone else who finds the courage to walk through the door.

You may be surprised in what you find.

Me I found myself.

today i am off to Somerset to have a days preparation for the great dorset steam fair, to which I can't wait.

Our Joe is performing his poetry today at a festival attracting 40000 before we head off, I had an individual performance to ensure his timings were right and i hope the crowd enjoy it as much as I did. outstanding!!!

today is another day i enjoy all abstinence gifts.

Duncs stepping forward never back

No bet today.

Morning Duncs,

Thanks for your supportive post on my diary.

Enjoy the Steam fair my friend. Saw the signs for that when I headed back from Cornwall on Friday!

Glad to hear that you are still going strong and as inspirational as ever. Your experience of GA seems tailor-made to your needs and really does give you the added boost to keep your strength of recovery going.

My personal experience of GA was not as good as yours, but I tried it and would not criticise the concept at all. I guess that I could always try another venue and get another experience of it...

Keep moving forward, and I'm guessing that your glass will be half full of some os Somersets finest ale come tomorrow!! ;0)

Ade

Thanks Duncs for your kind words. Feb is straight back in The Bright Side of the Road and remaining as strong as ever!

Take care and enjoy yr weekend.

Lady Feb.

Hey Duncs,

Great post there -- and wanted to wish you the best time ever at your steam fair. Hope to hear about it in coming posts. As always thank you for your constant support. -joanxxx