Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Morning Dunc

Well said Dunc.

I visit this site everyday and read a few diaries. I've taken the step of posting less often as i'm tired of reading diary titles that use "never betting again" "I give up" etc a few posts then GONE. I know people are trying their best but they need to do it the GA way- ODAAT.

Many diaries are "happy clappy" and reading these posts do ME no favours.

I'll continue to read your diary when you add to it as it helps keep me right. best wishes mate,

gazza

Hey Duncs

I get what your saying ...in my own way I also have similar frustrations that I won't go into in your thread but it basically revolves around just stopping the addiction being the end of the line.

Very few track the journey in the aftermath but I think that's the most important bit, how you deal with life when your crutches are gone.

The people I post to regularly are doing that, some for privacy I guess don't reveal all but I think people also are left with a lot of questions after abstaining such as "moving on..but to where? " ..that's where the importance of 12 step comes in.

In my own recovery I also tried a half way house and it has resulted in an ugly mess..the realisation that love is not enough and I am not strong enough to cope up close and personal . I am handicapped for life when it comes to addiction and have to abstain from my particular triggers completely and accept that I can't force a person to change.

I always remember your words Duncs ...the ones where you went to your meeting and heard "just don't take that first bet" ..the elation of how simple yet how hard that is ..

For me , the equivalent words are " just don't get involved with that person" ..choose another, walk away.

So simple yet sooooo hard when emotions are involved.

With your hard work Duncs you have carved out an alternate reality . In the early days you didnt only quit betting but also had a lot of stress in the form of job changes until you found your niche..Those days were your testing ground and you held your resolve and even though every day presents challenges you still have navigated a path through and I know that your family has had a lot to do with that.

In the absence of a loving family people struggling with this need that human contact and as you know I am always behind 12 step as for no other reason when you get 2 or more people in a room together all working for the same purpose ,miracles can happen.

R and D xx

" Having had a spiritual awakening we carry this message in ALL our affairs " .....I think of you when I read that Duncs as maybe the message of your recovery now can be extended outside cyberspace and further in your 3d life xx

Hey Duncs

I get what your saying ...in my own way I also have similar frustrations that I won't go into in your thread but it basically revolves around just stopping the addiction being the end of the line.

Very few track the journey in the aftermath but I think that's the most important bit, how you deal with life when your crutches are gone.

The people I post to regularly are doing that, some for privacy I guess don't reveal all but I think people also are left with a lot of questions after abstaining such as "moving on..but to where? " ..that's where the importance of 12 step comes in.

In my own recovery I also tried a half way house and it has resulted in an ugly mess..the realisation that love is not enough and I am not strong enough to cope up close and personal . I am handicapped for life when it comes to addiction and have to abstain from my particular triggers completely and accept that I can't force a person to change.

I always remember your words Duncs ...the ones where you went to your meeting and heard "just don't take that first bet" ..the elation of how simple yet how hard that is ..

For me , the equivalent words are " just don't get involved with that person" ..choose another, walk away.

So simple yet sooooo hard when emotions are involved.

With your hard work Duncs you have carved out an alternate reality . In the early days you didnt only quit betting but also had a lot of stress in the form of job changes until you found your niche..Those days were your testing ground and you held your resolve and even though every day presents challenges you still have navigated a path through and I know that your family has had a lot to do with that.

In the absence of a loving family people struggling with this need that human contact and as you know I am always behind 12 step as for no other reason when you get 2 or more people in a room together all working for the same purpose ,miracles can happen.

R and D xx

" Having had a spiritual awakening we carry this message in ALL our affairs " .....I think of you when I read that Duncs as maybe the message of your recovery now can be extended outside cyberspace and further in your 3d life xx

Hi mate

In complete agreement with you there mate, at the end of the day please do what suits you best, you won't be any less a friend if you aren't posting as frequently. I for one pop on and read half a dozen diaries a day but I leave it at that. Once a month I will support others and pass on my thanks but I have to stay focussed on my own recovery and less time on this site nowadays is working wonders for me. I am thinking about gambling less and less.

Thank you for your kind support recently, you know I am behind you and your viewpoints 100%.

Always look up to you and stand beside you my friend. Well done on your continued strength at abstaining.

Have a great weekend.

Andy

Yo,

It's a tough choice to make I think when you start to pull away from this site . But as you know I believe the key is learning to live in harmony with our addictive natures and creating balance .

I too do not post as much now, but see it as a good thing , because when I am vulnerable I post more .

Do not think that it's complacency raring it's ugly head , cos we both know we are far from cured .

Life just evens out , a bit .

With that said , both of us have a bar full of long life shakes , which can be opened at a moments notice .

See this as the next step in your recovery , no regrets , no need to explain, just Duncs continued to step forward .

To that my dear dear friend I salute you !

Shiny xxx

Hello Duncan,

This forum is about taking what you need and giving what you want to give. You've been more than generous with your time on other people's pages, always been upbeat, always helpful, never confrontational.

Personally, you've always spent a moment to post on mine at the salient times, and I REALLY appreciate it. Don't know why, I've never posted that much on yours - you started just after I finished the first time, you were one of the 'newbies' to me and I wasn't really reading much then.

I'm the last person to offer up advice given my current situation, however, I did manage nearly a year, so feel semi-qualified to look back and see what started me off again, and point you towards the triggers. You might think differently.

It isn't always helpful reading the diaries, there was one author I did follow (but rarely commented on) who was always lapsing. Every week she'd post losses and feelings etc and, after a time, I realised that I was getting the ghost of a 'hit' reading about it. I started feeling compelled to read the next instalment. Also, I've read the arguments about bingo, lottery etc...

However, I do feel that being here has been and is more good than bad, and certainly better than not being here. I wish I hadn't stopped. although after a while it starts to be a chore - and some people start to hate it, and the hypocritical nature of its funding (remember Getting There?). Be that as it is, at the end of the day it's a tool, and you have to use it as you see fit. I tried GA many years ago and, worthy though it is, it isn't for me.

Be careful.

good luck and thanks!

Your presence and sage advice will be missed, though, I'm glad you aren't leaving entirely. Thank you for the posts you've done on my diary and for being such a positive contributor to so many here.

Hi Dunc's... I can appreciate your thinking and it sounds like you are doing what is right for you and your own recovery. I sense that you are secure in your recovery but it is good to read that you haven't decided to simply exit stage left and will continue to be a presence on the forum. I think we all need to maintain a level of support. Over the long term its so easy to forget where and what we have come from.

For me I don't feel quite so secure in recovery but what other people write or don't write doesn't effect me greatly (even when it does have a pro-gambling feel to it) its more about getting my own stuff out my head and on to my diary or vicariously through other peoples diaries. I use my self-awareness to recognise that I need to stay close to this place despite having been here for so long.

Thanks for your support as always. Avoid people who smell in the library, very off putting when trying to gather ones thoughts...;-)..regards... S.A 🙂

Afternoon diary.

Just a quick line to say thanks for all the kind words of support, I know I am doing the right thing for me, for twenty months this diary has served as a fantastic crutch, and aid in my recovery, I had a fantastic weekend, payday came and went, we treated ourselves to a new Iron, and Sarah went to a craft fair with mum on saturday so spent a couple of days down in Somerset, to which they had a great time and got loads of new ideas.

Mum and ed dropped her back on sunday and we all got to enjoy a sunday roast together, a table full of smiles.

regards gambling, that demon only entered my mind once, on saturday watching the scores come in with our boys my mind raced for a minute or two over the goals flashing up, but as usual it passed as quick as it came. I really do not have time to formulate odds and the what could have been moments as I know full well were they would lead me to. The fobt. the nemisis of my addiction, the thing that since it's inception was my downfall, plain and simply for me a thing I cannot again let become my life.

As I am aware that is what it does become, when you are not there at it, your mind is.

Today I will still plan my days around keeping busy, focused on what I have a life without active addiction.

Again thanks for all the kind words, I will get around the forum later in the week.

Ny name is Duncan McQuilken I am a compulsive gambler No bet since 23/01/2012

Stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs,

I just wanted to add my own personal thanks and support to the many people who have already posted. You have always been a great source of support and encouragement on this forum as well as acting as a real motivation by revealing what can be achieving by going down the gambling free road.

With my warmest and very best wishes.

Dave

Hai Duncan.

Has been a hard slog these past twenty months. Yet with the determination and strength you've given to your recovery exhibits to us all what a fine character you are.

Would be honoured to share a silent moment with you, staring at a frosted glass and giving a 2 fingered salute to the gambling S***e what tried to wreck our lives.

Keep living Duncs, simple is nice.

DMac,

Been away this weekend so missed some posts and just catching up tonight. Personally, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support and advice and more so for never giving up on my case.

I look forward to reading weekly, fortnightly or monthly updates. Whatever you choose.

Tomso.

Hi Duncan,

Not wanting to repeat what others have said, but thanks for your kind words on my diary earlier on in the week, and I'm glad to read you had a nice weekend, and your family sounds like a wonderful support and a great reason to never even consider taking that first bet.

I'm glad I never tried the FOBT's, but then my nemesis is video poker, and I know the damage that can cause all too well.

Thanks for the support, I hope as I get more time to write and be around the forum, I can take a few cues from the way you support others on here.

All the best

Ryan

Hi Duncs

I just want to add my "thanks" for the help you've given me and to wish you "all the best" to you and your family for the future.

Take care.

Your grateful friend,

Irene

x

Hi Duncs,

Would like to echo others..You are a real inspiration and living proof that it all can be turned around. Be proud!

All the best for the future and enjoy every minute with your loved ones.

Will be looking out for an updates.

Thank you for your kind words and support

Take care....and no way back:-)

Sandra x