Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs,

I hear you loud and clear. Not one penny. We both know what we have to lose. I totally agree. Stay warm and dry friend. The weather here is crazy too. -joanxxx

Morning diary.

Just a quick dip into my diary, I am waiting for youngest to return, he is having a trim and I dare not go near the barbers as my curls still grow lol.

so I popped into the library to do some quick research on this years project, a small frame vespa for restoration, for youngest to ride at the end of the year when he is road legal, I myself have owned quite a few in my time and look forward to the possiblity of tinkering with one again.

I like the idea of him having one because it is style over speed lol, he will be more worried about how it is looking rather than the speed it travels, which will help to dampen the fears Sarah holds!!!

So No thoughts about gambling, addiction did come a knocking this morning early, the old toffee hammer effect, a niggling little bang, bang bang in there.

for me this was quickly told to f**k off, for me again gambling is the one totally unacceptable in my life, it can have no presence, not one penny will be waged, because for me that is the way for me to step forward.

So again today I am proud to say not one single penny of my hard earnt will be formulated,speculated or gambled in any form because for me I know my tomorrow will be bettered.

To abstain and maintain.

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs

Well done on your continued abstinance. To do what you are doing and the way you are doing it , after 20 years of gambling is commendable.

Continue to better your tomortow's.

Take care.

Feb.

Hi Dunc's... I had a motorbike when I was 17. I didn't have a Scooby do how to ride it. Roaring up the road in the first gear sounding like a nest of hornets lol Once I'd learnt I got a slightly more powerful one but then one day some silly old sod pulled out in front of me and sent me catapulting over his car. That's was the end of my motorcycle career. Freaked me out it did.

Great stuff on your continued abstinence. Warm regards... S.A 🙂

Yo,

Funny how it has that abity to do that ?

Sometimes it like where is the rhyme and reason.

I say this cos twice today , it niggled at me .

It knew I had my bank card , waited to pounce . Then those suggestive thoughts appeared .

I did not circum , but amazes me how they can just drop on in , when ever they see an opening .

Like you , not mad or sad . It is what it is .

You hear them and then as you said tell ummmm to f**k off .

Both got better things to spend our hard earned dosh on.

Anyways just wanted to share my day with you , both ended it with our recovery in tact .

To that I say , recovery 1 addiction a big fat zero .

Long may it continue !!!!!!!!!

Shiny xxx

Have a Shoei helmet and a couple of armour jackets for sale from my days as a CBR biker chic xx

Hiya dunc glad your well, i will be honest and say i was worried as I starting reading your first post thinking it was your latest one, then it clicked that im an idiot and i moved on lol. Just wanted to say thanks for the support you have given to myself and to everyone one on here your attitude and determination that we can all have an insight to is a massive help and inspiration so thank you and may 2014 be a great one for you. Take care Dunc.

Evening diary.

Thanks guys for the kind words. Rach it will be my old parka and an open faced helmet for callum. As i said style over speed lol. Today i used my day to paint the boys room of which one huge wall i painted white then took all the old paint tins from the garage and created a stone roses cover on the whole wall. I used an old pen, a bicycle pump and an old paint brush to flick various colours, oh and i painted callums hands and got him to make some hand prints. Truthfully it looks fantastic and was great fun. So just mine and sarahs room to go and the whole house is fresh and looking good.

Shiny it is good to be able to stare addiction in the face again, yes those fleeting thoughts are there, i wont run from them, i wont entertain them, they wont get past my resolve, my mindset is strong, strong for facing up to my addiction. I simply cannot afford to turn my back again. I will use everything at my disposal to keep telling addiction to f**k off.

Dave i love logging on and reading that first page, that page speaks volumes about where i have come from. That day i was a broken man. The honourable smiler gifted me hope, he showed me there is another way.

That way for me to never wage a single penny again. To abstain and maintain. To make a choice each day that offers more than any fobt ever did. That 500 quid jackpot, the paltry amount i let rule my every thought for too long, well no more. Today there is a bigger picture.

My name is duncan i am a compulsive gambler no bet today.

Stepping forward never back.

Always good to hear of that control you have Duncs, always inspiring!

I'd love to see a pic of your mural/mash up/painting. I have done a few pics on walls in the past (not commercially) and enjoyed every minute of it, to do it for and with your son must make it that extra bit special. Sounds like a good day to me!

All the best

Alexis

Afternoon diary

Well I am using the forty minutes I found myself with iin the best way possible, right here on the forum, a place that will only ever gift in my resolve to better my outlook.

I am off to the hospital shortly to see the liver specialist, I have put some underwaer on lol and washed behind my ears and hope to draw a line under the issue that has blighted my health for the past 22 months my knees!! please today lets get to the bottom of what is is that is causing the gout and get on with dealing with it.

I am very happy I gifted myself the opportunity to look after myself.

Recovery the gift that never stops giving.

Great to see Mr chicago go through the years continued abstinence Fella I salute you.

Great to see Alexis is not only making the right choice and enjoying recovery, but has got the gamble free 'bus' back on the road.

It has free tickets, it's just about making the right choice, the destination,

Abstain and Maintain.

I salute you too my friend.

I wish I had more time to get around the forum, but like me it will be here tomorrow, ready to gift whom ever wants the gift it offers.

A weapon in the recovery of the compulsive gambler and those who have suffered along side them.

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs,

As always well done on continuing to make the right decisions and taking the right steps against gambling. I hope the appointment with the specialist went well, and that they can offer treatment that will help to solve the horrible condition. Gout has always had a bit of a reputation, but as I know from my maternal grandfather, it isn't just something that hits the lazy and indulgent, as he had worked hard on the land all his life, and never eaten excessively, yet it still hit him hard.

Every piece of inspiration and advice you can offer is welcome, but like all of us life outside this virtual space makes its own demands, and sometimes it isn't possible to spend the time you want to. As you'll have spotted from my frequent gaps in posting, it's something that I find as well.

All the best mate,

Ryan

Dunc.

Hope everything went well at the hospital. Continued best wishes to you and yours.

Enjoy your weekend.

gazza

Just wanted to say again thanks for caring and I am beginning to get the hang of it even when all the sides of the triangle are in place I manage to whop them with a sledge hammer this week.

Car through MOT by a whisker and mechanic told me his friend lost his canal barge at Guildford last week in the floods as ropes to tight which is my problem at the moment so fingers and toes crossed still as highest water ever recorded in my part of the Thames - just my luck as hadn't flooded for ten years before I bought it two years ago.

Have a dose of man flu which is strange being a woman but have had to take to my bed with lemsip.

Remember pride came before a fall last time so being very wary of letting my guard down this time.

Hope you get quick resolution from consultant, they really are miracle workers some of them.

xxx

Evening diary.

Well my visit to the hospital resulted in further visits being the outcome, the consultant was a decent fella, he carried out some scans and yet more bloods given, his conclusion i have a non alcohol related liver disease. This will take further investigations to find out what but sounds like i will be able to help myself through my continued change in lifestyle.

So quite sobering thoughts for me, no pun intended. But to think if i was still at it, with honesty would i be a time bomb ticking, i could not give a f**k about my health all the time i gambled so again i take a great sense of belief that recovery really has saved my life.

To go full on at recovery is the one selfish act i will continue to gift myself, its power is growing, it really is something to behold, the feeling is amazing to know that abstaining has had such a profound affect on my life.

Today i dont hold any anger, i used to be deeply angry, with myself, i used to feel a constant sense of impending doom and would never look at rational ways to deal with the issues, truthfully i would just run to gambling, thinking it would fix my problems, eventually it just added to the problems, it spiralled out of control, it became the contending factor of everything. It delivered in return nothing but destruction.

So today i embrace recovery for everything it is worth, it never lets me down, it grants me balance, it gifts me a belief in myself it actually really does make me a happy man.

So would i risk recovery for a punt, the so called 'buzz' with honesty that left my gambling life soon after it started, the outcome of any bet for me in any form will never offer any where near the level of 'win' recovery gifts me, the stake?

A choice.

My name is duncan i am a compulsive gambler no bet today.

Stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs,

Again, well done on keeping gamble free, we both know that not gambling improves us as people, and also improves how we interact with those around us. I don't envy you having to change your lifestyle, but each step towards getting over this gout is a step in the right direction. The toughest thing of all is not knowing, and once you know what steps you need to take then once again you can start to take measures to fix things. Hope this all comes through quickly for you, and that your recovery continues to be strong and enduring.

Ryan