Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Afternoon diary

So through the events of the past few days I have revisited my own diary to see for myself how I reacted to the feeling I was being hit with a stick, goaded into a fight.

I felt angry and annoyed and isolated, the irony is it is turned around to make me read like the one with an agenda.

I tried to face it then, then tried to put up a wall of silence, today I face my demons and just carry on about my recovery

I am sure about this, so many folk cant be wrong

So again I will vote with my fingers and abstain from posting on said thread

It will not then hinder my own recovery

Duncs stepping forward never back

Learning every day

DMac,

I have read your post on my diary, which I must admit took me by surprise. I instantly looked back on your diary to the 13/08/13 to see what I had done to upset you at that time. I couldn't find any post from me to you around that time. I am not questioning you but if I said something untoward to you it must have been by mistake. I follow your diary every day and believe you are an exceptional example to me and others on this forum.

I am sure all will settle down in a day or two and we will all be back to normal.

Tomso.

DMac,

Sorry buddy. Thought I upset you there.

Keep abstaining.

Tomso.

Hey Duncs...sorry just edited my last post to u. My bloody English lol..i meant it other way round 🙂

I know which events u are talkibg about last year..forever greatful my friend xx

Keep it up!!

Speak later

S x

Best wishes to u and ur amazing family x

Hi Duncs

Just thought I would drop by...I haven't beat my addiction, but for now I have arrested it..I must say that it's people like you who give others hope! I am a little down as I can't find a job...Also, I had money and squandered it..But I have let it go and money these days isn't worth the paper it's written on...It isn't the gambling it's the thought process that goes into it...Let's say that all the money we ever gambled only equals 1. Ok it don't matter how many zero's come after that because 0 =nothing. I don't know what made me say that? But it helps... Just don't gamble is the answer....

I haven't gambled today.

Hi Dunc's... For me its always very tempting to put my analytical and intellectualising head on and really go to town on others thoughts that I may disagree with and occasionally I still do.

But what I realise (for me) is that sometimes I do this merely as another way of avoiding the things in my own life that I don't want to face. Sometimes its a fine line between writing and posting as a positive reinforcement of recovery or writing and posting merely as a way to pass time and avoid doing other stuff. However most of the time I'd say that my time spent on here is a hugely positive thing and I'd suggest that it is for you to... but of course from day to day its always your decision to make that judgement.

As long as we maintain are resolve not to gamble, that's all that matters. Incidentally I red a post of yours the other day where you described your gambling and what you gambled on.... very similar to me.. the progression up the jackpot amounts.. but then I could also do a lot of damage on small jackpot machines.. it just took a little longer. No more gambling for me!

Thanks for your support. It really does prove invaluable at times. When your on your own sometimes you need someone to say "your ok" cos I can't always do that myself. Warm regards... S.A 🙂

Morning diary

Thanks for all the support folks, just like SA it is even though I have a housefull to know this journey is having

the desired affect.

SA for me the equation for me works like this.

Today I am in recovery, until I gambled back in October I was recovering, I had listened to all the advice but like everything in my life I sought closure. That would mean I could walk onto the next thing, start again if you will. I desired the end game gambling never gave me.

Truth is today I know I was wrong to do that, because for us the answer is there is no end game. This today I know is something for life. Hence being in recovery for life.

Regards posting I will be honest only one thread ever raises the whole ' debate' or opinion giving mentality for me because it would be the constant opinions posted that would trigger my wanting to give answers.

For the rest of my own posting the things I write are factual in regards to what I have learnt from others.

The triangle will stop you having a punt for example is the first thing I learnt in my GA room.

That one thing could stop someone doing what I did for twenty years, I see posting as therapy for me and the person who's thread I post upon.

And regards my time spent posting, I gave gambling at least 8 hrs a day of my life, the results were devastating, I give my recovery two hrs a day, minimum every day.

I look at the results and it drives me, my goal is achieved I remain

'in recovery'

So today I focus on again what actually works for me.

It is true you do have to take what works for and dump the rest.

It took me a bet, I gave my continued recovery to get my mind in the right place, that I would love to help prevent in others, because I know it is unacceptable to have a punt if you cannot change the outcome

I cannot win because I cannot stop.

What posting gifts me by therapy is a daily reminder of those facts.

This journey has no destination but in equal measure it should have no destruction.

That's a choice we all have.

Mine today the important day.

No bet today.

To end for me being in recovery means I face my issues, yes some ugly and whole of my doing, I took away the place I hid the day I again gifted myself my belief in my choice.

Thanks again for gifting me this therapy it works.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Yet another great post Dunc, more food for thought from the chef. Recovery to me is joyous, it's been an emotional journey for me. It started with despair, then anxiety and fear, then the tiny green shoots of hope started to break through. Eventually, you realise you're, to a certain extent free and it's wonderful. You regain choice in your life to make better decisions, become a better person, safeguard what you have, and shape how you'd like to live the rest of your days. The fear and anxiety has gone now, to be replaced with humility and gratitude. My barriers are resolute and are reinforced constantly for I never, ever want to live my life as I once did. For that is no way to live.

You're a wise man Dunc's, if you were a herb you'd be 'Sage.' I like reading your posts because they're truthful, honest and from the heart, plus you constantly pass on experiences and advice you've learned from GA. All good stuff.

This is my therapy over for today. I choose not to gamble for there is no end for me, only the prospect of self-loathing, bewilderment, misery and despair. Just for today I choose to be free.

You have everything a man could ever want Dunc's and I'm made up for you because you always value and appreciate it. Keep stepping forward.

Lazarus

Hey Duncs

Just wanted to say that I am still reading your posts with interest. You are clearly a popular and trustworthy member of this forum and you continue to "abstain and maintain" not only in you remaining free from gambling but also in your commitment to writing and supporting other peoples diaries.

I continue to value your support, advice and opinions.

Take care and have a lovely weekend.

Lady Feb.

Hi Duncs, my old mate.

Days become weeks, weeks become months, months become years. You became one of my heroes. The world needs heroes. You became an inspiration. My world needs inspiration. Despite our physical and mental problems we continue to fight the good fight. You're a proud man and in turn I am proud of you. Your mini lapse in October serves as a constant reminder. Anything is possible, everything is achievable. Battle for life. Unity is strength.

Your loyal friend and fellow believer x

Morning Duncan

Good to see u going so strong in your recovery if anything that small slip made you stronger, hrs great to read your posts with what you write always sticking to your beliefs and stand up to be counted against them

I wish you continued success for the future

Castle2

Evening diary.

Wow my diary has been blessed by such good company, you may even think I hijacked some old users threads to pay homage to myself, the cynic would say lol, for me I am glad to have had the pleasure of Mr b's continued company away from the forum too. We are privileged to have you about the forum fella.

Seems your good self and smiler will both be gifting the forum your wise words whilst helping your own journeys in equal measure. That is a great lesson to learn.

It is no longer all about me.

I stood in the local shop tonight bagging some reduced bargains and heard some shocking news.

The manager of my local bookies was badly beaten last

week whilst the shop was robbed, she must be in her 50's

So I really do feel for her, no job is worth that, she has worked there for as long as I can remember and was always very pleasant, I wish her well.

The old grey matter has still been turning over the therapy the honourable SA gifted me yesterday.

It concluded in me understanding that experiencing the joy of recovery is something we want to share, it's good for the soul.

By taking the noose off my neck, I know I want to make it into a ladder for others to climb, rather than leave it for someone to hang themselves with.

There is without doubt enough sh**it in the world, why pile it on.

Plus my feet are dry since I stopped peeing on them!!!!

No bet today, no time. Going to enjoy the big game with my boys now, the result immaterial.

That's nice to write because it's true, the outcome will not affect my life, in another life it meant too much.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

DMac,

I have reached fifty days without gambling today and I feel great. I would like to thank you for all your help and support during that time. Last year was a very difficult time for me but you never stopped posting, which I appreciate. I am on the correct path once again and loving my journey.

Tomso.

Morning Diary

Great to see so many folk gifting the forum some sound and honest advice, it seems we march on, our quest to end the misery unrelenting, the want to share that inspiring.

Today I read my way around, did not post as much as I would like but I have a schedule and today I needed to top up my resolve, so I did just that.

With out waging a single penny of our hard earnt on something we all to a man know the outcome of we all grant ourselves the opportunity.

To abstain and maintain.

right I am off to face the winds!! hope to get around the jobs I have today without getting wet!! and more football tonight, Spanish cup, two great games in the making, mind you I said that about mondays game, for the neuteral it was like watching chess!!!! lol

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today.

Gamcarers Today I salute you, keep making the right choice.LIfe.

Morning mate.

Have a nice weekend.

Cheers,

gazza