Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Hello my friend...

Great to read your posts as always and I always feel somehow refreshed with renewed strength and resolve afterwards. You have a gift for sure !

I agree about the adverts, it is the most sickening thing about watching sports channels now ! I doubt the bookies will fund an advert with a reality check from people like us ? it needs doing however.... the balance is all wrong !

Anyhow today is a day of peace, so I wish you and your wonderful family a fantastic one ! keep well and keep on being the inspiration to so many.

Dark Place /

Hi Dunc's... I see your working recovery hard as always. An inspiration for sure. Great stuff... S.A 🙂

Morning diary

Well a testing day yesterday,one phoned in sick,one wanted to jump ship early and the decisions of others left me feeling like I was left in the lurch,I had a puncture in the morning,I had to take a bus,through the actions of the others I missed the last bus home and had to walk four miles,after a long hard day that was the last thing I needed.

In past times I would have looked for a bookmakers to reward myself.I would have simply poked two fingers up to the world and set about adding to my feeling of woe.

The truth is I was too emotionally battered too,firstly my dear Mum had read my thread on saturday morning and had found herself blaming herself for my seeking various forms of escapism through my life,she took my writings,my therapy very personally and blamed herself for my shortcomings.

To which I told her and will tell the world,the searching for escapism as a result of being uncomfortable in my own skin were acts of my own doing,the fact is depression is something that like addiction we don't choose,nobody gifts it to us either and the truth is nobody except us can take it away.

I write my thread with complete honesty because it is therapy,it exercises the demons that live within.

Secondly we went to our friends and enjoyed a good evening to a point,the point being that in an intoxicated state my wifes best friend decided it would be a good time to put to use her new found skills as a counsellor,in honesty I sat pretty dumbfounded.

I was the only sober person in the room and could see that she meant well,but in truth just ripped the lid off pandora's box and did not think about any consequences.

I will over the next few days address the goings on,because I feel I need to,I am pretty sure she won't even remember what she said,unfortunately others will.

she herself is a victim of the outcome of another persons addiction and was very bias towards the victims in her opinions,something I believe a cuonsellor should not bring to the table.

Bottom line is drink does funny things to folk,

It gifts some courage to speak,some anger and others escape.

for me alcohol is something I have learnt to respect,I enjoy a drink but equally enjoy not having one too.

And when I do drink I myself follow a great piece of advice a fella gave me 25 yrs ago

Don't discuss Religion,politics or football

and you will have a good night.

Sometimes I understand I will get things wrong, I will write things and act in a way folk wont accept

When I do I would hope they would be honest

Because living out in the open so to speak is the way for me to maintain a life were I simply don't want to run and hide.

I know what that life promotes

Nothing but self gifted s#hi#te!!

Today I am off to work,tomorrow gifts a day off

First I will visit the supermarket,bless Sarah has taken to her bed,a flu type virus

The hounds have taken leave to join her lol

My resolve strong to make the right choice

That begins and ends without me wasting a penny of my hard earned on a punt

it is a sound foundation to stand on to try and live life with courage and honour

My name is duncs

I am a compulsive gambler in recovery

No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Hi Duncs

Looks like you had a challenging day yesterday and an eye opening evening, at least you did not have a boring day yesterday lol.

I think like you there is no point in having a diary if we can't be honest in it, what's the point in one if we are lying to ourselves.

Well done for facing those challenges yesterday and overcoming them, your strength and stamina with abstaining shone through yesterday, be very proud.

I feel very proud to be walking this journey with you.

No two days are the same, so today should be a calmer day for you, shouldn't it lol.

Well done again

Suzanne xx

Hi duncs,

As Suzanne said tough day yesterday it shows you how far you have come to get through with such positive reaction an inspiration to all of us, have a good day my friend.

The bear

Hi duncs - ouch, sounds like an interesting weekend mate! Hopefully today has been better and your mum realises that it's not her misgivings in the slightest - I often worry that my folks beat themselves up too.......nothing to do with them, it's about the choices I've made.

I've put a post on the 2014 Challenge thread in response to yours from this morning......I'd be thrilled to see you exorcise 2013 and see you through to the end of the year. Nip on and see the update from today.

Stay strong guv'nor - you bring such light and inspiration to this place.

Catch up soon,

Mr B

Hi Duncs

Echoing what others say insofar you now react differently to stress and pressure that once would have seen you making another choice.

I think wherever we began on the forum it was when the pendulum had swung way too far in the opposite direction as to where it should be.

The great news now is that through your and Sarah's hard work when faced with the outer world and all the tests it brings , you have an ally in your corner in Sarah when once you would have come home and felt lonely and isolated in your home due to the double life of addiction.

Even though we still have a few more bright nights before winter months, I always imagine the cosy glow of family life and there is no greater feeling than coming in from the cold to a safe place where you are loved to bits ..with yummy food! ..you can't put a price on that.

I hope your mum also knows that despite all the things you listed in your Saturday post something still was inside you that turned it all around. Remind your mum It's the 3 "c"s of recovery from the other side of the fence ...

We didn't cause it, we can't control it and we couldn't cure it......I also add another " C " .in that we can Give a big Cheer for every day , hour and minute that your old nemesis is shrunk down to a spec of dust and put in its place...

Rachel xx

My Dear Friend

I read your last post with a lump in my throat by the end. In truth, these events that came at the weekend i am not qualified to comment on and to be honest i think you would rather people not have an opinion on. Gambling brings many horrors to our life, you have been gifting yourself and family the life you all deserve, i read it humbly almost every day. Every now and then the history of shame and self humiliation comes back to haunt all of us, we cannot change the past but you and i and many others are changing our futures.

I only want to say, i am here not just as Dark Place posting on your diary but as a friend and will support you as best i can. It would be an honour to meet and know you better as friend, Patrick /

Morning Diary

Well again thanks for the kind words folks,not been about the forum for a couple of days,had another mad monday at work,then a day off tuesday and worked hard yesterday.

This morning I have been to the wholesalers and have popped home for a break then a long day in, the offing so I have just popped in to check in on the 2014 challenge on the overcoming problem gambling section,a huge thanks to Mr.B for letting me join and I hope the other folk from the thread on this section take up the kind offer to join.

I have been wondering what happened to the honorable Flagg,I really do hope life treats him well.

Like many many others the forum has had lots of traffic in my time here,many of those folk had a profound impact upon my life either through writing upon my thread or their own.

Taking time from their lives to gift 'RECOVERY'

to keep the flame burning underneath it,to ensure it never burns out is I understand a job for life,a job which is made easier for my own journey through sharing.

Recovery is a gift,it is wonderful,amazing and worth giving all you can.

Today I looked at myself in the mirror,I smiled at what looked back,because today I know I am winning.

So the count begins lol,I turn the big 40 in seven days,life begins I am told,truth is life began on the 23/01/2012 the day I found recovery,983 days ago.

I learnt how much it was worth on the 31/10/2013 when I foolishly went and gambled,three hours gambling taught me why a punt in any form is totally unacceptable in my life.

So October will be a month full of celebrations for me,the biggest on the last day of the month when I regain my place in the 3% club,to have not gambled for a calendar year,a title I was proud of before and know I won't gift it to addiction so easily again.

Abstain and maintain.

Thanks for listening,my ramblings serve as my therapy.

To remain a winner

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Duncs,

Johnireland left you a message on Friday.

Check it out. It's for you.

Suzy

Evening diary

Well Johnireland you have had myself and my better half,my soulmate and my best friend Sarah in tears,tears of shear joy.

To think that my ramblings have had a profound effect on another fella's life are truly humbling,it inspires me to know we are making the right choice.

For me we all stand together,equals all of us who accept our shortcomings and embrace recovery and the life it gifts,not just us but the other folk around us to boot.

In honesty John those words are rarely of my making but those wise words shared by other like minded folk,folk who all share a common goal

To arrest the compulsion to gamble,to take refuge in recovery,to learn to live without the constant disruption gambling wages upon life,to learn to run at life rather than away from it.

Together I understand we have a better chance,when one of the group gives back to addiction or falls from the pages of the forum I feel their pain,I walked in those shoes,it was simply my way of life for more than twenty years.

Recovery has a wonderful way of rewarding the effort you give to it

John today you gifted that not just to me but I hope many other deserving folk,folk who like you and I choose recovery before anything else.

To understand it's value is for me the 'holy grail' the key to continued abstinence

Yes addiction will scatter a few land mines and doors and brick walls along the way

But we learnt from it's devious ways,we dig up the mines and feed them to addiction,we pick locks to its doors and break down the walls and use it to brick up the doors we leave behind.

To recover my dear friend Rachel used to wisely write you have to give your recovery away

Today we share the same value in that

Time for bed,a long weekends work in the offing.

But one punctuated with moments snatched with my beloved family.

The first coming with eldest in the morning,after walking the hounds we are off for a full 'Irish', well I am and my Joe is taking on the 'Celt' A combined full Irish and Scottish

Oh to be young again lol!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh not to mention the snuggle up before that

I take all night to do what I used to do all night!!!!

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Mr Mc Quilken, I'm glad my message reached you. Tears are now streaming down my face. Your humility is astounding, it blows me away. My life has changed, it's so good, even the sh1tty days, which are few,are something I now welcome as a challenge. I've learned how to do this through your teachings. I sat yesterday and marvelled at the life I now have, I'm not a man of great means but I'm a happy man. I'm a happy man because I applied the wonderful advice you give freely. I will continue to quietly visit this great forum, I will continue to use your template. I'm not giving up what I've got. May the sun always shine on you and yours.

Forever in your debt.

Humbly,

John.

Great to see the return of the mac this week (been waiting to say that) sad i am 🙂

Many sincere thanks for your post, fully appreciated as always and please expect to share that pint sometime in the near future with mr dark place.... been a while since i visited pompey. Being a south coast boy myself, originally born and grown up in hastings, i know very well all the good and bad of such towns.

Have a great weekend my friend, Dark Place

Hi Duncan,

I have spent much of the day reading through your diary. It has moved me to tears more than once. Your attitude and commitment are to be admired, and through your writing you have given me hope and direction in a time of need.

Your glass half full outlook is one I hope to adopt myself. I always seem to be down, not fully appreciating the simple pleasures life can offer.

Keep up your great work and keep writing.

Thanks for showing me that there is hope and things will get better.

Evening diary

Just a quick dip as working a long day and have just grabbed five minutes to clear my mind.

Today is without doubt Ex-gambler Jeff's day

5years gamble free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is amazing

I salute you

Inspired I march on gamble free

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back