Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Awwwww Duncs!

Lovely post from you........Just want to add have an awesome time with your fantastic family....If anybody deserves it...You do!

You give hope to people on here.....I think all newcomers should be pointed in your direction!

Hope mum hasn't planned a kidnap of Hovis?

Sue x

Evening diary.

Well I just topped up upon my gamcare medicine,sat at my mums pc in the study, Sarah prolapsed upon the floor, seems walking hovis ten miles in two days and meeting Mr M Clones in the flesh(and costing hovis the chance to win most handsome dog award!!!!!!LOL) has given her a pulled muscle or two, I feel trully helpless as back pain is a speciality!! Still I hope the fantastic Cider courtessy of burrow hill will numb the pain, we walked another few miles with hovis today, me, joe, lily-may and my Ma and her wonderfull hubby Ed, we went up across an old quarry were forced to stop for a ciderLOL and back home for a bbq, a day which carefree was trully splendid and could have only been topped by the addition of one thing, a hand to hold across that quarry!!! but these things are sent to try us and for me gamble free the light is shining!!! tomorrow marks 32 weeks gamble free, somehthing I wont be letting go of any time soon!!! Well ever!!!

Thanks agaian for all the wonderful support it helps fire the engines for more of LIVING.

Duncs compulsive gambler NO BET TODAY.

Stepping forward never back.

Evening ,

Good to see you making the most of your Rand R

No doubt you will come back refreshed and ready to dream up a new autumn menu .

Seriously though , you sound sooooooo happy .

It really is no wonder you will never take that step back .

Love reading your posts ,..... So thank you for sharing

Shinyxxxxxxxx

Morning diary just a quick post to say 32 weeks today without a bet, a time I with honesty I never in my gambling life envisaged a time were I could live without a punt, my whole existance revolved around the next bet, today I sit here in mums lounge refreshed from a nights sleep watching the birds feed, mums chickens run free, hovis dreaming of lunch!! and all because today I am refreshed due to sleep, something which used to be so fragmented and interrupted often with fear of loses and debt and pipe dreaming to cover them, today I will be safe in the knowledge that money is in the bank to facilitate the bills with enough left to have no immediate worries.

Long term I see Sarah and myself living this end of the country, life really does seem to have a more sedate pace and folk do for me seem a little more pleasant for it, another thing whilst at it would never have been in any life equasion, honestly toward the end I could not see past a day.

Today Sarah will rest up as her back is very sore and after working the energy out of the hound through the fields we are going to an old book shop to see what treasures we can find, maybe a classic for joe or a cook book for me, then no doubt a pint or two more cider of which I will today just for today toast.

"heres to life and all it gives Gamble free"

Duncs compulsive gambler NO BET TODAY.

stepping forward never back.

Duncan, yet again another inspiring post.

Can only say keep it up and keep on keeping on!

Totally understand about the never thinking about the moving house etc. personally it is now far in the future but as Blondie once pointed out, every day past is a day nearer the end of the debt.

Enjoy your walk and hopefully find some treasure tucked away in the dusty corner of the book shop.

Stay strong Steve

Hi Duncan, thank u 4 ur post on my diary 🙂

I think all new members should read thru ur diary. It really is full of positivity and determination. U r an inspiration. Well done on the 32 wks gamble free, U r doing brilliant 🙂

Have a gr8 day 🙂

Hey Duncs,

Thanks for posting on my diary. Your continued support means alot to me. Cheers buddy!! Have a great day!!! -joan

Afternoon Dunc.

Well done mate on 32 weeks.

Continued best wishes,

gazzza

Hay Duncs...

Your Mums sounds idyllic....and chickens! wow...i would love that.

Wondering if the chicks have got names? and if so am going to guess at ...Matilda?Penelope?Jemima? or Jessica or Henrietta.....any of those???

Cos according to Radio 4.....these are the most popular names given to chickens..

Brilliant on your 32nd weeks my friend .....that is fantastic and what a journey ...

Life in the rural sticks is very good for the soul that is true and the pace so different..I am sure you and Sarah and the family will find your forever home .....

Still in the ring Duncs but cross training now and been out on my mountain bike in borrowed combats and Dotty running by my side...she loves it.

Have a good eve...sun out and a glass of crisp white on the go.

hugs and waves

R and D xxx

Morning diary.

back home this afternoon after a good r&r last night at the dinner table a discussion about competition got very heated and I somewhat,lost my cool, I put this down to the fact that here I used to be a bit piggy in the middle, did not want Sarah talking to mum about money and things and vice versa, today I have a voice and opinion and nothing to stand in its way, fear of being uncovered is something as a compulsive gambler at it, is that used to be at the forefront of my mind, ridiculous how the mind used to work,as I know many around me knew only too well I was at it.Something to learn from this for me is to become more measured in my opinions as I do value those of others and know that everyone has there own rights to an opinion and will work hard to understand more about them. Competition something else as a compulsive gambler I could not have given two hoots about,all I looked for was the next oppurtunity to emmerse myself in a bet, stealing my thoughts and time for all other things, today I have an abundance of thought and plenty of time so enjoy competition on all levels and believe we all constantly compete and should within education harness this to bring the best out in a person,something I believe would help so many.Still food for thought and for me healthy thinking is all part of this recovery process, to dig deep and find the better person within.

hope all are well and the rain coming outside does not leach inside.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

(bookshop fantastic found a cookbook I have wanted for a very long time and £4.50!!happy days, and because just for today NO BET)

Hi Duncs,

Thanks as always for posting on mine.

Funny isnt it but when we gamble..,..think we feel we are not able to give opinions on things and slide into the back ground to work out when we can next bet etc.

Once this changes...the real person emerges...someone with opinions and also needs.

I know my family have been astounded at me lately....joining in conversations....having an opinion!

This is a new life for you............Great isn't it!

Sue x

Hi Duncs,

Wow.. great post. So much there. In AA we used to say one is as sick as thier secrets. You're not hiding anymore! When someone says "hey Duncs good to see you.. " you can say, "and hey it's great to be seen" ( without feeling guilty). I couldnt agree more about competition -- It's a must -- facing adversity, challenge, failure, is a part of living. I teach young people and I am amazed at how often they expect a prize or trophy for doing absolutely nothing. When I challenge them they look at me like "don't you have a nerve!". What's up with that??? Anyway, do not mean to rant on your diary sir. 🙂 Thanks for getting me thinking. It's a good thing. Take care Duncs.

hiya Duncs...

wow...I could talk all night with you and Sarah...competition....had many a debate about that....

Expressing an opinion?...wow....well you can see how far iv'e come...am heaps better but still run round the other side to soften the blow or say ..."i can see your point but.."

Admitted publicly that i didn't watch the olympics and aside of boxing and motor racing..I hate sport as i'm a bad loser....I am so much better as a solo operator...would absolutely want to rage like fire if I was on a team and lost due to someone elses mess up.....oh...and Adele...who I have really got it in for Adele recently ....LOL

Joking aside....yes we are friends ...and hey! don't you go thinking I've fogotton this meal....dress bought and everything..!! lol

Duncs....I am exactly the same on here as I am in real life..I am as shoot from the hip as this in real life....for better or for worse...I have no secrets and all my dirty washing is out there for all to see...incuding my boss and family ...as I tell em!!!

My boyfriend also reads this site...he knows that I am what I say on the tin....and he also comes with his own chequered past that is now firmly behind him...gambling is also not alien to him either... Funnily enough we dont ever have any disagreements over that.

Of course we are friends....You would recognise me straight away.....I will be the woman walking up the path to meet you and Sarah...in a business suit and thowing a few air left hooks...with tears of joy her eyes.....first words..."whats for tea"?

I shall always be a GC stalker ...lol...but my own diary will soon be put on snooze......my quilt will be wrapped around me and taken everywhere....with Dot....

Even tramps have dogs!!!

I shall be a Bag lady with amazing accessories if it comes to it...and no way selling my quilt....xxx

Evening Sir,

Always is a real pleasure to read your diary. Continued progress day by day but never settling and always as you say stepping forward. I think at first I stopped gambling and thought there you go look at me I am now good again. I think over the last 10 weeks or so I have done far more in recovery and really pushed myself. What more do I need to do to make myself better I ask and most days I find something! I think what you write is always totally honest and forthright. You keep making that essential choice each day which in turn is redeveloping your character.

Inspired daily!

Flagg

Evening diary.

Before I left my mums today we got to for the first time talk with honesty about my addiction and the destruction it caused, in doing so my dear mum broke down several times and to see her so destraught hurts deep inside, it turned to shouting but through perseverance it returned to straight talking, from this I take alot and only hope my mum gets to shut the lid on alot of lingering hurt and fear, not all related to gambling but truly important things which I hope give clarity, my mum saw alot in me of which my father did as a compulsive gambler which never got addressed, and to end blames herself for feeding my addiction through loans and cover up. Mum in black and white I am again deeply remorseful of my actions and through my recovery hope to simply better myself and in doing So make our relationship what it should be and the same for your grandchildren, something gambling stole alot of but not a moment more.

This part of my steps challenges all my metal, but with each step this journey shows me my lights guide, for this I am eternally humbled and ever mindful that I am not alone.

Tonight I toast my family and how amazing they all are.Ilove you all unconditionally.

Duncs stepping forward never back.