Adam poker 2015-2022-the future

Hi diary,

Been a great day...... statrted off by going to hove and ordering my sofa..... went for a corner one in graphite....as i knew the salesperson they managed to give me free delivery too which saved me 79 pounds..... so that was great......

Then went to a friends to watch the cup final ........ a good game.......was a good watch...... invited a few people to my place for a bbq in the summer.....

Then came back and emailed carpet person to get a quote for the carpets.....  Hopefully get that sorted soon too.......

Also had roast beef and banofee pie can't go wrong today really.....

Back to work tomo full of beans so look forward to putting in some shifts next week.....

So all in all everything going well, looking forward to a lot of things and striving to do well at work.

All the best Adam

Hi Dave,

Thanks again for popping by i love seeing your posts they motivate me.

Had a tiring lazy day at work yesturday as was feeling down,...... then made up for it today with a super productive five hours where i literally didnt stop and got lots done......

Feeling good now.....

Getting carpet quote on tuesday next week so going to look forward to that and getting in flat soon.

Got all the decorating done now and ordered sofa so its all going swimmingly.

Onwards to another weekend....

Going out for a pizza next tuesday with friends free dessert with a voucher ive got.

Not sure what im up to this weekend prob stay in and catch up on sleep.

All the best adam xxx

hi dave..... yes thankfully i like everyone i work with and thus like my job which is no small thing....

Another weekend done and dusted,..... havent left my house..... havent really left my bed lol.... been on gamcare a lot focusing on helping others with their journeys a long with helping my tohughts.... spent a bit of time watching slot winners which is definitely a bad idea but i get bored..... will aim to not do that again.... i know deep down they only show the winners and dont show the countless number more of the losers who get caught up in it and get into trouble so im no fool...... i will endevuer to not watch again..

Back to work tomo...... im not looking forward to it but im not dreading it.... an early night for me ill get my hot water bottle out again and snuggle up and sleep to the max rest up for the next day ahead..

Not long 8 weeks till my holiday to isle of whight should be good looking forward to the travelling and resting up not abroad but on a different island.

Ill leave it there...... hopefully by end of next week  my flat will be nearer completion and ill be clsoer to moving in not that im in a rush really.

Alll the best adam xxxx

Carpetman came over flat after work ..... Should have a quote soon to get that sorted.

Went out for a meal tonight was lovely .

All the best Adam xxxx

Got the qoute back for the carpets today £922 (im happy with that)....... Will get them to start on it soon.....  Then will get my bed over to the flat next..... then will move my clothes over and kitchen stuff...... 

So plan.....

1) Get caprtes done.

2) Move bed over in van.

3) Move rest of stuff in car.

4) Move in!!!!!!!!!!!

Big step coming moving in..... but i feel ready....... looking forward to sharing the two houses.....

Voices have been getting progressively worse lately, hearing them at work and over various evenings since last injection....... but im in a good place to deal with them currently.

Work is going super well........ somedays im pretty lax in the afternoons (ill have a couple of cups of tea rather than working thruout...... But i makesure everything that needs to be done is done and im soo experienced now everything goes pretty well.

Recovery going well.....diet not too bad can improve but have lost weight recently with covid so thats good...

Off to see batman on sunday will report back on how i find it..

All the best adamxxxx

and yes dave, was lovely to treat myself a great reward for myself......

Yes very very true dave , thanks for popping by as allways.

Today i went to the flat and cleaned the windows, measured up for picture/curtains/blinds/tv stand.  Also looked at what my mum and dad had done ie staining the flooring that we had sanded down due to cement on it.  All has worked ouut well.

once i get the carpet sorted it will be allmost complete, well actually it will be complete yay.  then i can move over my bed.

One of my mates has got a new xbox series x so i thought as he doesnt need it ill buy his xbox one off him and go on xbox live every now and then with my nephews when they come round.

Going to see batman tomo looking forward to it!!!!!! should be a good one.

Hello diary..... just listened to a podcast about motivating yourself to do things to be happy in life..... the person has written a book called 8000 steps (aparently the average life is 8000 weeks long? ) but its about making the most of life..... i mean they say 8000 weeks makes you think that life is short and we must make the most of our attention to things like not waste an hour on something not useful etc however im of the mindset that 8000 weeks sounds like an aweful lot of time to do everything i want.... also im of the mindset that time wasted doing something pointless living in the present moment can actually be rewarding as its relaxing...... i like to sleep for 12 hours a day so thats essentially 4000 weeks (at least  as i may pass away early) of my life spent unconscious but its relaxing and it builds my energy for each day.

They also say to write down 25 things you want to achieve in life then put them in priority order then focus on the first five (as you can achieve them if you solely focus on them) and ignore the rest as you will not have time and theyre not as important.  

I actually wrote down my aspirations into some objectives to achieve in a past diary so ill go and try and find it now to see if ive managed them i know stopping smoking was one sand ive managed that so thats a good sign...... be right back

Hi Adam123,

We've moved this thread from 'Success Stories' section to 'Recovery diaries' section, as you appear to be using this thread as a recovery diary thread.

Well done on your continuing progress.

Take care,

Adam.

Spent afternoon at flat getting the weeds out of the patio and enjoying the sun ??...... Really loving the garden it's going to be sooo great each summer .

Also went out for a meal last night and going for another meal tomo...... Happy days.

A good old friend came over today to visit and we went to a pub and got lunch i met his new dog it was really nice.... unfortunately didnt spend anytime today at the flat but wached spurs win so that was good.

With the cost of the carpets being the most expesnive part of the moving in soo far its an expensive month this month and the first time in six years ive been in a minus for the month..... cant be helped tho as i knew it would be and ive saved money soo far by not having fllooring done and doing all the wor on it ourselves.

This weekend has flown by again.... looking to start saving more again..... had a great month last month but by going out for meals etc ive spent more by not planning ahead.... and acting impulsively although ive only spent 92 pounds this month scialising which isnt the end of the world i guess.....

Im measuring up the wall again for my picture im going to buy tomo..... i will hopefully be able to get it up in the lounge soon its a banksy print of a monkey i really like it.... hopefully be sorted soon.

The tv stand is out of stock at mo so will wait for that..... then will need to sort new cooker, microwave, toaster and kettle soon so its ready for when im in.

recovery going well i was thinking id rather be gamble free than win 1000 pounds on a fruit machine, id never win that much but its good to know where i stand and that im in such a great mindset.

all the best adam xx

hi dave hope youre well?

Cant believe its thursday tomo almost the weekend again woop woop.

Going to spend this weekend at the flat doing weeding should the weather stay the same.

My print is dispatched today so hopefully get it tomo and be able to put it up over the weeknd.

Been looking at kitchen stuff tonight but not going to rush into decisions..... one thing at a time.

Work has been peacefull this week with my manager off work awaiting a pcr test.

Work is going pretty well, im comfortable, i know what im doing and its not stressful all great things in my book.

All the best Adam xx

Where abouts do you live dave? what country? that its been snowing there? yes been super prodcutive lately with flat just one day off a week lately as been at flat.

Spent friday night watching tv didnt go out..... then spent saturday afternoon at flat weeding.... dad done some gardening and mum cleaned the floors ready for the carpets...... really thankful to have them as theyve been soo good for helping me first get the right flat, buy the flat, save up to live there, then decorate it and help purchase everything i need really couldnt of done it soo well and within budget if it wasnt for them xxx

Then today i spent at home sat in garden for a bit, went for a short walk, organised my years taxes ready for inputting in november...... then had dinner went on chat all whilst listening to music.

Lids very nicely said that he liked the fact al and i have been to chat to show him the way and show him what to aspire to do......im very proud and that really cheered me up today.

Ive also spent today rearranging my two bbqs in my flat..... my mum thought it would be better having less people each day but over molre days which is very sensible so ive rearranged a bit and hoping some people forget the original invite as to be fair if the friends, plus wives and kids came which i invited it would be crazy......at the moment ive got two deck chairs there and thatds it lol....but im impulsive and got excited in feb and invited everyone and their pets lol.

So now theres 5 people coming over on 28th may, 2 people over on my birthday 30th may, and ill see about the following saturday depending on the weather......

Cant wait to see the flat on wednesday night after work...... really will add to the look and comfort of the flat.

Night all

from a very happy, relaxed, stress free, excited and proud adam xxx

Wow Canada lovely, do u ski/snowboard? I used to go once a year to France/USA/Andorra/Slovakia/ mostly France for snowboarding with friends..... Used to love apre ski as much as the day lol..... Bet u love it over there ...... There are pros and cons to every country I guess ....

In recent years my shoulder not been so good so wouldn't go snowboarding again....but I did love it when younger .

Two bbqs is a bit excessive for one week I may even have more lol I'm planning on spending the whole week start of jubilee for the queens reign in my garden soaking up the sun.  But I guess it all depends on the weather but I'll defo be taking it easy at home with good company 

Couldn't sleep so I've just made a hot milk and chill to somes tunes for a bit.

I'm very thankful this evening for all thanks to my folks that I've managed to achieve thru the pst almost even years....   I started off a mess.... Well twelve years ago I lived alone in a flat and fell very Ill and six months later after losing my beloved job I'd worked Soo hard for I was diagnosed with skitsophrenia and had to move back to with folks to as I was literally seeing a world which was not reality and work, socialising and living was not easy at all.....

My folks helped me to gain confidence and got my support from NHS then found me a job to apply for.... And bit by bit got me my life back..... Gambling has also been a large problem for me and I've socially used poker thru fifteen years to socialize altho it's brought on an addiction to the gambling buzz ... And then losses .

So I came here in 2015 and seemed help from fellow sufferers and also found another social aspect to explore thru people's and my own diary and chat rooms.

I suffered for three years on here trying to continue poker in a controlled manner but realised in 2018 a new lifestyle was needed....

So I began in Aug 2018 in Abad place, I was not working too well in supplies in the hospital and was under performance management and being bullied for being slow even tho I was just being cautious by my manager and new co worker..   so my work was probably not being helped by my gambling three weekday nights in a pub ....  I got to sleep around 11 pm each of these nights and my thoughts would focus on these nights ...  Also the main problem was the fruit machines in these pubs where I would lose not lots but a bit each night ....  Then in Aug it hit the fan when I spent three hundred on a machine untill I could not get any money out the machine.... 

I went home in my overdraft....and didn't have money to spend on my holiday.....  So on my holiday I went to a festival drunk a bit not much but didn't sleep then went to isle of my white with my folks the next day.....my skits took over me and that holiday, I didnt sleep and It ruined mine and no doubt my parents holiday...  So i didn't drink that holiday after that festival.....

I went home and had six weeks off work and funnily enough I didn't drink, went to gym, swum, ran, rowed, visit places with my folks and had the eureka moment, LIFES NOT ALL ABOUT THESE VICES, so I'd stopped smoking in 2016, I realised it was better to stop drinking and gambling together... 

So I did for a year all was well untill i thought as a birthday treat may I could play poker in a controlled way. So I did for a couple of months but then started playing fruit machines again and I thought it's getting worse again so I had another eureka moment ..... December 3rd 2019 I was about to go to a bookie in town on a Sunday I think it was..... I thought let's look at my gamcare so I read my diary and there was I post from slowlearner Al saying that I was really inspiring him to stop and thanking me for being great...  I read that and I thought no more controlling this gambling trying to stay in the game and be controlled... .I'm going to stop all my vices for good