Spent afternoon at flat getting the weeds out of the patio and enjoying the sun ??...... Really loving the garden it's going to be sooo great each summer .
Also went out for a meal last night and going for another meal tomo...... Happy days.
A good old friend came over today to visit and we went to a pub and got lunch i met his new dog it was really nice.... unfortunately didnt spend anytime today at the flat but wached spurs win so that was good.
With the cost of the carpets being the most expesnive part of the moving in soo far its an expensive month this month and the first time in six years ive been in a minus for the month..... cant be helped tho as i knew it would be and ive saved money soo far by not having fllooring done and doing all the wor on it ourselves.
This weekend has flown by again.... looking to start saving more again..... had a great month last month but by going out for meals etc ive spent more by not planning ahead.... and acting impulsively although ive only spent 92 pounds this month scialising which isnt the end of the world i guess.....
Im measuring up the wall again for my picture im going to buy tomo..... i will hopefully be able to get it up in the lounge soon its a banksy print of a monkey i really like it.... hopefully be sorted soon.
The tv stand is out of stock at mo so will wait for that..... then will need to sort new cooker, microwave, toaster and kettle soon so its ready for when im in.
recovery going well i was thinking id rather be gamble free than win 1000 pounds on a fruit machine, id never win that much but its good to know where i stand and that im in such a great mindset.
all the best adam xx
Hi
Once we give up our unhealthy habits our week ends seem so much more pleasurable free and less stressful.
It is good to hear some one enjoying their life today
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK
hi dave hope youre well?
Cant believe its thursday tomo almost the weekend again woop woop.
Going to spend this weekend at the flat doing weeding should the weather stay the same.
My print is dispatched today so hopefully get it tomo and be able to put it up over the weeknd.
Been looking at kitchen stuff tonight but not going to rush into decisions..... one thing at a time.
Work has been peacefull this week with my manager off work awaiting a pcr test.
Work is going pretty well, im comfortable, i know what im doing and its not stressful all great things in my book.
All the best Adam xx
Hi
Yes sticking with your recovery and your healthy boundaries life seems less painful and more productive.
It is nice to celebrate our healthier life.
My wife gets so much pleasure doing gardening.
I think it is a relaxing hobby.
Yes weeding sounds productive
We have not yet defrosted yet the grass is just about to go green soon.
Should the weather warm up more and we have no more snow.
Things that seemed impossible are achievable today.
Shirley my wife is in charge of looking after kitchen stuff.
Take your time in making healthy decisions.
Less speed and more focus.
I am glad to hear your work has been more peaceful this week your manager off work awaiting a pcr test.
Is that an IQ test. LOL.
It is good news that your work is going well.
Yes more comfortable and healthier than our gambling.
Dave L
Where abouts do you live dave? what country? that its been snowing there? yes been super prodcutive lately with flat just one day off a week lately as been at flat.
Spent friday night watching tv didnt go out..... then spent saturday afternoon at flat weeding.... dad done some gardening and mum cleaned the floors ready for the carpets...... really thankful to have them as theyve been soo good for helping me first get the right flat, buy the flat, save up to live there, then decorate it and help purchase everything i need really couldnt of done it soo well and within budget if it wasnt for them xxx
Then today i spent at home sat in garden for a bit, went for a short walk, organised my years taxes ready for inputting in november...... then had dinner went on chat all whilst listening to music.
Lids very nicely said that he liked the fact al and i have been to chat to show him the way and show him what to aspire to do......im very proud and that really cheered me up today.
Ive also spent today rearranging my two bbqs in my flat..... my mum thought it would be better having less people each day but over molre days which is very sensible so ive rearranged a bit and hoping some people forget the original invite as to be fair if the friends, plus wives and kids came which i invited it would be crazy......at the moment ive got two deck chairs there and thatds it lol....but im impulsive and got excited in feb and invited everyone and their pets lol.
So now theres 5 people coming over on 28th may, 2 people over on my birthday 30th may, and ill see about the following saturday depending on the weather......
Cant wait to see the flat on wednesday night after work...... really will add to the look and comfort of the flat.
Night all
from a very happy, relaxed, stress free, excited and proud adam xxx
Hi
We live in Calgary Alberta Canada
Not snowed in a week, les than usual snow this winter.
Even over night it drops to about 0C
Working in a flat is very worthwhile.
It improves how you feel abut your home and how much you value your self.
I tend to watch DIY program to learn new skills.
You decorating is a very healthy habit.
It is nice to enjoy your garden
They call them yards here.
I enjoy listening to music it helps me relax.
Two bbqs in my flat you must be a very hungry person.
My mum was a helpful lady.
Sounds like every one being there was a party.
Be kind to your self.
Dave L
Wow Canada lovely, do u ski/snowboard? I used to go once a year to France/USA/Andorra/Slovakia/ mostly France for snowboarding with friends..... Used to love apre ski as much as the day lol..... Bet u love it over there ...... There are pros and cons to every country I guess ....
In recent years my shoulder not been so good so wouldn't go snowboarding again....but I did love it when younger .
Two bbqs is a bit excessive for one week I may even have more lol I'm planning on spending the whole week start of jubilee for the queens reign in my garden soaking up the sun. But I guess it all depends on the weather but I'll defo be taking it easy at home with good company
Couldn't sleep so I've just made a hot milk and chill to somes tunes for a bit.
I'm very thankful this evening for all thanks to my folks that I've managed to achieve thru the pst almost even years.... I started off a mess.... Well twelve years ago I lived alone in a flat and fell very Ill and six months later after losing my beloved job I'd worked Soo hard for I was diagnosed with skitsophrenia and had to move back to with folks to as I was literally seeing a world which was not reality and work, socialising and living was not easy at all.....
My folks helped me to gain confidence and got my support from NHS then found me a job to apply for.... And bit by bit got me my life back..... Gambling has also been a large problem for me and I've socially used poker thru fifteen years to socialize altho it's brought on an addiction to the gambling buzz ... And then losses .
So I came here in 2015 and seemed help from fellow sufferers and also found another social aspect to explore thru people's and my own diary and chat rooms.
I suffered for three years on here trying to continue poker in a controlled manner but realised in 2018 a new lifestyle was needed....
So I began in Aug 2018 in Abad place, I was not working too well in supplies in the hospital and was under performance management and being bullied for being slow even tho I was just being cautious by my manager and new co worker.. so my work was probably not being helped by my gambling three weekday nights in a pub .... I got to sleep around 11 pm each of these nights and my thoughts would focus on these nights ... Also the main problem was the fruit machines in these pubs where I would lose not lots but a bit each night .... Then in Aug it hit the fan when I spent three hundred on a machine untill I could not get any money out the machine....
I went home in my overdraft....and didn't have money to spend on my holiday..... So on my holiday I went to a festival drunk a bit not much but didn't sleep then went to isle of my white with my folks the next day.....my skits took over me and that holiday, I didnt sleep and It ruined mine and no doubt my parents holiday... So i didn't drink that holiday after that festival.....
I went home and had six weeks off work and funnily enough I didn't drink, went to gym, swum, ran, rowed, visit places with my folks and had the eureka moment, LIFES NOT ALL ABOUT THESE VICES, so I'd stopped smoking in 2016, I realised it was better to stop drinking and gambling together...
So I did for a year all was well untill i thought as a birthday treat may I could play poker in a controlled way. So I did for a couple of months but then started playing fruit machines again and I thought it's getting worse again so I had another eureka moment ..... December 3rd 2019 I was about to go to a bookie in town on a Sunday I think it was..... I thought let's look at my gamcare so I read my diary and there was I post from slowlearner Al saying that I was really inspiring him to stop and thanking me for being great... I read that and I thought no more controlling this gambling trying to stay in the game and be controlled... .I'm going to stop all my vices for good
So thanks to al and the support of folks, gamcarefriends family and my diary I've apart from one tv competion I accidently forgot was gambling I've not gambled since that day. I think for me the stopping drinking, and asking advice from my folks before making rash decisions I've thought clearer and as u can see my life's been somewhat of a rollercoaster. But I'll not have a midlife crises.....
I think skitsophrenia has stopped me from meeting a woman to have a meaningful relationship with and maybe kids but I will never say never I'm forty and I feel like I've lived a hell of a lot for my age and have due to living with my folks a pretty old mind not tired but mature in my thoughts.
So now I've not smoked since 2016, not drunk since that festival Aug 2019, not gambled since the following 3 Rd Dec 2019 840 days I'm proud to say..... I come here to support myself and others and try to give some other people that advice that Al gave me that day that made that decision there and then to stop and has changed my life from then onward.
Hi
You have given some very unhealthy habits good for you.
It took me along time to do the same kind of things for myself.
10 pounds per day smoking over 20 years was over 73,000 pounds
If I gambled and lost just 10 pounds per day smoking over 20 years was over 73,000 pounds
That is a minimum amount that was a healthy deposit for a good house.
Yet it was time lost, going to work and just wasting it away and the only thing I had to show for money lost was lots of self inflicted pains.
Now being in recovery understand that each unhealthy habit indicates how much I value myself and my life.
You come here to support yourself and others which is very healthy.
I feel by my sharing that I help people understand they can really help them self heal, reduce fears and embrace a healthy spiritual life, non religious of course.
From my slow baby steps so much has been achieved.
Love and peace
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
Hi diary,
Carpets have been done in my flat and are looking really good. Just transferred the remaining 500 pounds for them and will have just one minus month on the expenditure for them.
I spoke to Chrissy a nurse at work a couple of days ago and she goes to the dolphin gym and i said i used to go and was waiting for a deal to come up to join again. Saw her today and she said it was the last day of a deal where you sign up for a year and get the first month free and no joining fee saving 73 pounds. So overall for the year its 44 pounds a month. So i went there after work and impulsively signed up.
So im once again going to look to lose my stumach (no mean feat in my forties as everyone who has hit their 30s and above knows that the matabaalition goes down and the weight goes up and is not as easy to burn as when your young). Im not going to weigh myself as that allways fluctuates and i end up focusing too much on what im eating and it never gets me anywhere. instead im going to focus on what i look like in the mirror, im going to focus on losing my excess weight and losing my man boobs by building muscle, excercising and being healthy thru this summer aand into the winter months.
Ill live near the gym and i have a friend who goes every other night so ill go with him around 7pm and do some classes, gym, swim, health suite anything that gets me out my flat and burning some calories...... I hope i can look better by this time next year.
Now im instantly tempted to write down what i weigh and focus on losing a stone but for me that just doesnt work and puts me in a bad place....... so ill aim to see what i can do in the next month and update on changes at least once a week.
I think its going to be a really good way to get out of my flat, meet people, whilst getting healthier....
All the best adam xx
Weekly update, went to my gym induction today, as i wanted to know how to use the weights with pulley ropes and different exercises to help get my strength in my shoulder after the christmas before last i asked the trainer to show me what i should do first to slowly build up my strength without overdoing it... he taught me five different exercises on them that i will do 3x12 reps ish one was tough the rest ok i put them on the lightest weight to get to grips with it..... all went well then i done 3 kilometres, 200 calories on the treadmill over half an hour.... walking mostly a bit of jogging..... my legs and arms are feeling a bit tired now but i know i havent overdone it which is the main thing.
May go again tomo see how i feel, then ill watch the spurs game at 430pm.
Lifes getting pretty busy at weekends, either at flat, shopping for things for flat or now going to the gym also.
DFS just sent me a text to arrange delivery of sofa.... so hopefully can get that sorted this or next week.
Next weekend is my neices birthday on the sunday (ive got her a purple hula hoop) they are coming over to play games so thats busy, ill prob visit the flat on the saturday.
Weekend after is easter, on the friday a friend may come up to see mine flat and have a beer in the garden, the saturday my brother in law is going to fix my cupboard doors and my sister will be over so i can watch spurs v brighton with my nephew and maybe play some sports at gym with them like short tennis. then nothing on the sunday. then another friend is coming over on the monday again to sit in garden and have a beer. All weather dependent i guess.
Then will hopefully move into flat soonish
Then going to isle of white for four days start of may.
Tehn friends over and my birthday end of may start of june.
So lots planned and joining gym has just made my life busier, i like to get the best value for money so ill try to go to gym minimum once a week, prob twice a week but once in flat maybe more dependent on whats going on.
But really busy is good and lots to organise but my folks are good with organising me.... Also i turned down a curry in london with friends last night as i thought i could lead to rounds of drinks in expensive pubs so saved a bit of money there.
night night
All the best Adamxxx
PS recoverywise everything going well too busy to gamble although i dreamt last night of playing on slots i think a lot get these gambling dreams.... thankfully i didnt end up gambling in the dream i just was going to and wanted to.... woke up and was like good it was a dream.
Hi
In my recovery the sooner I got motivated and kept busy was very helpful for me and very healthy.
I often recognize that being productive makes me feel good about myself.
Sadly I am not as motivated with using the gym.
I some times use the inverter which is healthy for me to open up my back.
Yes to build up slowly is the healthy way.
We have been to the Isle of Wight when we first got married and few other times.
I had also bee to the Isle of Wight on school holiday when we stayed in bell tents.
Are you looking forward to moving in to your flat.
I have also dreamt I was gambling it was so real it scared me badly.
This will happen and in time those night mares fade.
Very unsettling though.
Love and peace to every one
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham UK
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