Angel From Montgomery

Hi Joan, what a wonderful last 2 post from you my friend, your diary is like a novel except its real life - your life in all its glory, the good, the bad, and the downright ugly, and may I just say it is a beautiful read.

I admire your words, your honesty, and the whole persona that comes from your diary, you truly are a master of all you do and say.

So so true that we gamblers scrimp on the important things, yet can chuck the bucks in the slots like theres not another minute to lose, and when we walk away and face the cold light of day, thats when the 'reality' of it all hits home. The gut wrenching begins, the self hatred, the 'why's'. and the list goes on and on.

I often ask myself how someone like ME could let something like THAT change me, how did I reach this point ? I guess I will never know the truth of that question, all I know is that it did, and I now have to try and reverse the mindset of the gambler in me.

Your words are truly inspirational, and I can relate to so much you say, keep posting my friend, its working !!

Im 'old school' myself, so I return the compliment of the pat on the back - right back at ya !!

Have a great day, and thank you

Cameron

thanks joan 4 your kind words i wish u all the best xxx

G'morning Diary, Day 43

I have been watching reruns of the the old Cosmos series narrated by Carl Sagan. Facinating stuff, and at times, completely over my head. Astrophysics blows my mind to pieces! This morning I am thinking about the vastness of the universe and how small our solar system, and our Earth is in comparison. Thinking about other worlds and what those folks might look like-- what they might be thinking... When my ego tries to take over, I can look upwards at an ever expanding universe and take comfort in knowing that Life is much larger and wiser than I am. On the other hand, when I am feeling small and insignificant, I can think about The Little Prince, his Rose, and other matters of great consequence. Time to get back to my little world. To anyone reading my diary; have a lovely gamble free day today. -joan

The macro and the micro my friend...

Helps us to get our life in perspective....I also think about the big picture too and it gives me a sense of comfort..

I read a lot of Shirely Mclaines books....many years ago and they really struck a chord...especially "Out on a Limb' .

Anyhooooo.....early night for me and keep watching the skies....apparently we have another planet visible in our solar system...Nibiru....

When im not on GC im usually stalking NASA...lol

hugs Joan xx

R and D xx '

Hey Joan,

Some great thought provoking posts there! I couldnt agree more, we should all look up every now and then it kind of puts it all into perspective, its all been there for billions of years and so it will for a few billion more, our time here is a drop in the ocean therefore why would we ever want to go back and self destruct.?

Although recovery is really tough at times, for me forward, sideways, backwards slightly which ever direction it takes, Just for today I wont be hitting that button.

Keep going joan your doing brilliant

Blondie xx

Morning Joan, once again a very thought provoking post from you. Next time I look at the night sky, I will look closer, and just that wee bit deeper, to all thats up there.

Thank you for inspiring and for feeding me the food for thought.

All the best to you @ yours

Cameron

Thanks to all who posted on my diary. I appreciate it!

Dear Diary, Not sure what day it is.. forty something..

Well, it is all about survival and the Serenity Prayer today. Mom has arrived. There are worse things going on in the world and people have it alot worse than I do so, do not want to be the Belle of the Ball at my own pity party.. I will keep it short and sweet. GRRRRRAAAAAAHHHH!! There.. that felt better. 🙂 Mom is actually a very sweet little lady and is trying very hard. I love her to pieces but, she is currently underfoot and talks talks talks... sigh.. Alas, I am grateful to be busy. I have no time for gambling. No time to even think about it. I am grateful for my little home b/c it is raining today and I am cozy and dry. I am grateful for GC and all my new friends. I feel good today. To anyone reading my diary have a wonderful day. Stay strong. We do this thing one day at a time. -joan

Judy.

"I feel good today"

WEll done you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep making that choice just for today.

No bet.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

HI Joan,

Lovely post, Hold that feeling.. Its what makes it all worth while. I feel good today 🙂 i think you have earnt it.

I hope my mum will be moving in with me soon, since my dad died suddenly last year i hate to see her on her own wandering round a big house after losing her soul mate for nearly 50 years. I hope she babbles to me for the next 50 years...

Bless you its a wonderfull thing your doing but then after all my mum has done for me i feel i owe it to her, its my time to pay her back a little.

Blondie xx

"better out than in...thats what I always say"

Shrek quote

Keep posting hun

R and D xxx

Yo,,

Seeing as you offered to adopt me last week, you remember you and I standing out side by the lake , no seagulls , no buses , no snoring Oh lol

Well it would be down right rude of me not to afford you the curtsy , fancy spending 6 days in a country spar hotel , your mum can stay and look after my dad , then I will not need to worry bout him .

Well that's that sorted then ,lol

Shiny xxxxxxxxxx

((((((((Cameron, Rachel, Duncs, Blondie, Shiny, Sue (were ever you are -- have you seen Charlotte??))))))))))))) Group HUG!!

G'morning Diary, I will have to check my calendar as I have lost count of the the days.. oh alright...let's see here.. Day 45:

It's an early start here for me on day 45 🙂 b/c I have to teach class today. Only a half day so, not too, too bad. I am looking forward to it. I do not like rushing through my morning routine though. First day and night with mom went relatively smoothly. She's all unpacked and tucked into her new room. She's trying to figure out where she stands with our two mutts winnie and scout. Winnie, the smaller of the two, and queen of the house does not quite know what to think about mom yet either. She just pokes at her with her nose and barks at her alot. lol. They will sort it all out I'm sure. I'm not worried about my little mom b/c she's a pretty tough cookie. 🙂 I am looking forward to the weekend already.. No urges to report. I had a very long conversation with mom about addiction yesterday. She tries very hard to understand. Alcoholism and gambling addictions run rampant in my family. I have an older brother in the throes of alcohol addiction, and I fear he is not doing well at all... Anyway, I feel very fortunate to have a family that understands.. does not or at least tries not to judge. I read Shiny's post this morning and was blown away. So much of what she wrote resonated with me. I thank the stars everyday for my GC friends. I draw sooo much strength and wisdom from thier posts. I want to read, and write more but, have to get things going around here. If I don't eat breakfast those poor kids wil pay for it. lol. I can be a cranky old lady sometimes... To anyone reading my diary, have a great day. Remember one day at a time and stay strong! -joan

reading and hugging ya ((((((((Joan))))))))

R and D xx

Thanks Rach!

G'morning Diary,

I have decided no more counting for me. I have marked day one on my calendar and that is enough for me. This day is the only day that matters anyway. I am one drink away from where I was in the 1980's and early 90's and am one button away from where I was back in July. The sun has risen over my little planet. I have a lot planned for today but, we all know how plans go. 🙂 So, I will put one foot in front of the other and sing: "Que sera, sera, what ever will be will be.. the future's not ours to see.. Que sera sera... what will be will be..

Anyone reading my diary: all of the peace and hope that I can manage to carry/send coming your way.. joan

HI Joan,

Thankyou as always for the post x

I see your stopping counting to, it doesnt seem that important to me now. I love the one button anology, its so true i think thats why the day counting has become less important to me.

Each day we stay in recovery is something to be extremly proud of, I learn something new about myself everyday because my mind and heart are now open, some of its good , some not so.. but at least im not oblivious to it anymore.

Your posts and support on here is amazing, just like you 🙂

Blondie (((( hugs )))))) xx