Hey Judy and well done on 5 weeks clean!
It does sound like hard work at the moment. Amazingly ive never actually had a car but what you describe would stress me out to. You pay all this money for something to get ya to work and then one day the d**n thing doesn't start.
As for keeping warm at home am practically living in my bedroom at the moment. Ive dragged my bar fire in and then regularly put meeting readings on my electric account to see if I can can continue to keep warm! lol So far so good.
As with you am happy to be alive and free of slots. Take care... winter will be over soon enough... S.A 🙂
HEEEYYYY SISSSSSSS!!!!!!
((((((((((Sis)))))))))))
Sweetheart, keep safe and warm. Too much snow is not fun at all, but you're doing so well. It can't last forever, i am still praying (yes i do) for that sun to come out more often and melt that white stuff.
Here with ya all the way..
Very very proud of you girls...hell, your 90 days challenge is well on the way, may it lasts forever girl and you can say....pheww...we just reached 900 days 🙂 ..not that tough after all...Rooting for you..stay warm and connected
Sandra (lil Sis) xxxxxx
Hoping you are not living arctic conditions any more and bertha is living up to her reputation of surviving the winter onslaught.
Weather here is fairly mild and no flooding so far for which I am sooo grateful.
Still alongside you in the 90 day challenge but such hard work on some days makes my head ache battling the voices.
Beginning to get back an understanding of the value of money as seriously thinking of retiring in the not too distant future and totting up outgoings is scary without inflating the total with gambling debts.
Have just made contact with someone I met in 1970 on a visit to California to my ex's family, she as a child at the time and is now a single parent working as a social worker with young people, such a coincidence.
Not sure if you guys celebrate valentines day out there but have a lovely warm evening if you do - and if you dont as well doh!!.
xxx
Hi Sis,
Also hoping that snow has stopped dropping and all is well with you. As i said, never pressure my friend, a shout out "I'm ok" is all i need even if once a week (hope that's not asking for too much 🙂 ).
Keep looking after yourselves, keep winning hun...
Here beside ya, that pond is a drop in the sea if ya need to reach me.
Hugs
Sandra xxx
Thank You!! DF, Sandra, and Duncanmac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Morning Diary:
Week 6 done! I am glad to hear that my good friend Dragonfly is on this mission along side of me. If there was one thing from 12 step programs that I took with me it was the 90 day challenge. Just give it 90 days! The urges to get into a car and drive to a casino are pretty much non existent. It helps to have been snowbound for 4 weeks now. If this were two years ago I probably would have found a way. I would have used the stress as an excuse to gamble on slots. I lost my desire to gamble on line two years ago and have not looked back. As for this winter? The snow keeps coming. We had a blizzard over the weekend. Blizzard seems to be the new baseline around here. In fact, the city that I live in has earned the distinction of being the "snowiest" in all of North America. Now, that's lucky eh? Ha ha ha. Thanks to all who have been pulling (praying) for me, P, and especially our "Bertha". I took the week off in spite of losing money on the deal. We figured it would be more cost effective in the long run, to have one of us stay home to man the helm in case of catastrophe. Dragonfly, we too have rediscovered the true worth of money. Our hard earned dollar. It is because we have not gambled that we can afford me sitting this week out. I find that I am a humbler joan when I am not in the throes of addiction. I am more aware of everything. Once again, the fog is lifting. I have been here before. This time wiser. I have no plans of dropping anchor at the island of complacency. The horizon ahead is nothing more than the limit of my sight. New horizons will take the place of old horizons. I just have to keep going now. -joanxxxxxx
Week 7 slots free. More snow ice and rain on the way. TCB! -joanxxx
Still alongside you. Insomnia rules tonight but thankfully not a problem as I dont have online demons.
Saw the pictures of frozen Niagra Falls, amazing but not much fun for you guys as it seems to have been arctic conditions for ages. Just wet and muddy here so cant complain.
Have next week off work so danger zone but determined not to give in as planning what to spend my money on, such a novelty.
xxx
Keep holding on girls, ice age has to start melting! Holding hands together over the pond 🙂
Look after yourself and stay warm
(((((((Sis))))))) xx
You have no idea how much sense you hammered into this skull today!
Forever greatful
((((((((Sis)))))))) xxx
Keep warm and safe
Hi Joan,
Just popping in to,say well done on 6 weeks, and pleased to read the fog is lifting.
Stay safe and stay warm, soon be Spring lol.
Suzanne xxxx
Thanks All!!
Morning Diary: Week 8!
Had a night of urges last night but, pulled through. I kept telling myself that the only way to stay stopped is to never ever start. There is no: "There now, it's been awhile and there is a little money to spare blah blah blah...." It's a trick. It's a trap. It's a mind game that I play with myself that can oftentimes lead me into quick sand. At the time I think I would rather be grappling with physical pain. Fighting a compulsion is painful. If you have never had to do this you would'nt know and you might say things like "get over it". Fighting a compulsion is not like biting your tongue when you want to desparately tell someone to f**k off. It's more like an urge to eat something knowing that it is unhealthy for you but, you are really really hungry and the only thing in front of you is that bag of peanut M&M's and try as you might that hunger wins out.... Blocks are like always having something healthy around to eat at all times and what's key is to not ever let yourself get that hungry. Last night, I was'nt starving but, it was a wake up call. Today, yesterday's fight is a memory. I feel calmer and back in control. When you get up in the morning after a night of fighting and you win it's a feeling you wish you could put in a bottle. It only lasts for a little while but, while it lasts its an indescribable high. It's dangerous to stay in that place too long too. Never a good plan to fly too close to the sun. Folks like me who walk this earth in a low grade state of depression often look for highs. I suspect that's how I got into gambling on the slots in the first place. My life has been about discoving my real self. I am not all of the bad memories. I am not the sum of all of my mistakes or past failings. I am stardust. We are stardust. My birthright is that garden. Keep on keeping on. -joanxxxxx
Fighting those little bas tard demons is so exhausting Joan, know just what you mean as they have been leaping out of the shadows at me all week. Have managed to side swerve them but at the expense of my healthy eating plan which is also an open manhole waiting for me to fall down. You would not believe what I managed to chomp my way through on wed as avoidance from the demons, stupid as this will probably kill me faster than the demons so as you say need to plan better.
Still surrounded by even more death and destruction but amidst the sadness my friends daughter has produced a new life, trouble is makes me wonder what that life will entail with the world the way it is - I too muddle through with depression at my heels and at the moment this is my biggest trigger as the smallest thing can send me reaching for the wrong solution.
My friend in Ireland has replied so for one day I am going to drown myself in those wonderful past memories of youth, ecitement and danger and not worry what tomorrow has to offer. Sometimes reality becomes just that litte bit too hard to handle.
Still with you on this f*****g difficult journey but jumping the boulders along side you all the way.
xxx
Are you still snowed under, saw this and thought of you, heard she has been arrested now:
Knowing full well that Elsa is capable of controlling the weather through magical powers, the Harlan City police released the following statement: "HPD has issued an arrest warrant for Queen Elsa of Arendelle. Suspect is a blonde female last seen wearing a long blue dress and is known to burst into song, 'Let It Go!' As you can see by the weather, she is very dangerous. Do not attempt to apprehend her alone."
xxx
Yep yep...it's hard to miss that heavenly voice 🙂
Thought i shall send ya a reminder to melt that snow away :-))))))))
Ps..outta sync now..Did ya see poor Madonna falling over? Hell girl, OUTCH!!!!! bless that pop queen 🙂
Firstly your song and secondly Maddona's fall...lol..i am on coo coo mind today 🙂 sun is shining and says it all
Hold tight hun...keep fighting!
.just a reminder......so you know it could be worse Sis 😉
Proud of ya!
S xxxx
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