Well I haven't been on this site for months, but that isn't because I've been good. It's the total opposite. My live is a mess, but no one knows.....
Brief history on me. I have gambled for about 10 years. Roulette is my addiction. It started with me losing a bit then some more then taking out a loan and trying to start a fresh. Most I've been fresh for In all these years is probably 2 weeks. I have lost count how many times I've tried saving myself and giving up!
Well I am now 30, have a gorgeous fiancГ© and 2 boys. One is 3 and I said when he was born that by the time he is 3 I will have no debt. Well that didn't work. My debt is £28,200 on cards (not interest free) plus a bit of an overdraft. I earn at least 40k a year but always going backwards. My debt was 40k until I sold my house. I'd love to be on the mortgage with the other half but how can I with my situation. She knows I've gambled but thinks I gave it up and have about 14k in debt.
I just can't seem to walk away. Today I lost £1200 and next month get paid a good wage. Problem is I need to replace the savings we had for house improvements. I can cover this but still in a deep hole. I should be enjoying this money, not covering my a*s.
I don't know where to go. Only 1 friend knows. I'd love to tell the partner but we'd be done and can't break their hearts. I'd be better of staying quiet and breaking mine....
Hi!
Don't think in what you did! Is done already...
Will take time to stop think in that but u know you can do it!
Just tell your wife that u feel tempted to gamble and destroy your cards or give to her and ask daily for the basic things!
is a really good start, worked for me at the moment
It's done but still can't get my head straight. Lying here wide awake thinking what have I done with me life. On the face value I'm all good, but deep down I'm destroying my soul and spirit.
I'd would love to say something to my partner but have to keep the truth and my feelings to myself. Sometimes I think if it wasn't for my family I would of lost everything on a big binge and then just end it. I can't as that would be even more selfish than I have been.
Everything is still raw. It's not until you take a break from it you can clear your ahead and assess everything. There is always a way out, but you have to want it.
Hi Brad, I hope your well? I remember we commented on each other's diary a while back. May remember me, Dean?
Well lost £300 more this week. As well as having all my debt, I need £1500 pound to pay for some things next month. Had savings, but it's obvious what happened there.
At the moment it doesn't feel raw anymore. I feel numb and like I'm done and will be in this hole forever. I feel like I'm on borrowed time and one day the family will know and my life will be ruined. It's like I'm on countdown until that day...
Hi mr 30... this is really bad news. Losing another 300 is not what I was expecting after reading your first post. I only have one questions for you to think about...
"what is it going to take for you to stop?"
Then think about whether you really want that event to happen... whatever it may be (Mrs leaving you etc).
It's time to stop now mr 30. Just give in and quit. Good luck sir.
Hi Dean. Yes I remember mate. I don't update my diary anymore but I still check in here to track peoples progress. I'm glad you came back, it's always the first step forward mate.
Your last username was mr29, and now you are mr30. Don't let it be mr31 next. Your not too old to turn this around Dean but you have to really want it. I mean really want it. Please don't leave it too late my friend.
Keep your diary updated. It will make you feel better. You will be surprised how quick the days mount up.
Start by asking yourself: Will you ever win? Will you be different from everyone else and beat the system? Depending on your answer will depend on if you stop or not.
Hi Dean
How's the last week been for you.
Hi Dean, how are you getting on mate?
Letts ya be strong together ...
Im giving up today...
I'm the same as you mate....
How Dean, how's things...
Hi Dean, are you still about?
Hope your doing OK mate
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