Day 1
Hi everyone
I've probably been a problem gambler since I was a small child, I can remember going to my grandparents caravan and each morning they would give me a bag of 2p's and I would feed them to those machines that push the coins over the edge. I can still remember the feeling now when I ran out, desperate for the next day to come to be able to go back.
Now I'm in my 40's I'd say I've lost well in excess off 100k. Either online, in casinos or in the FOBT's in bookies. I've had periods in my life where I didn't gamble at all and life was much better then. In the last few months I've got really bad again and it really does have to stop now. I earn a decent enough wage but I've ran up a large overdraft purely from gamblig, in the past years I've even got my self in to trouble with high interest pay day loans. Today I feel good about it but I know it gets harder, I'm sure doing this diary will help me, I can see so many other people on here have had success and that is great.
Good luck to everybody
Bert
Hi Bert,
I was the same as you, 2p machines in Hayling Island with my grandparents who stayed in a caravan, then cards and onto bigger and worst things. I am in my 40's too and have lost so much over the years, I too have a maxed out overdraft, it was when I maxed that out that I stopped. Good luck on your journey, you have done the right thing setting up this diary and I will support you where I can.
Wilsy
Thanks Wilsy, I wish you all the best too.
Day 2
Well I'm coming to the end of day 2 and it's probably the longest I've gone without a bet for a good few weeks, i some times pop in to the bookies and have a quick £10 or £20 while I'm waiting for the train and I didn't even feel like it today, often it's as though I'm drawn in even if I don't want to. I've also closed the remaining online accounts I had so I can't do it in my phone, still feeling positive 🙂
Day 3
Pretty quiet day today, went for a walk with my wife and the dog, she knows about everything, it's always more stressful when you are hiding your losses and gambling. Although I feel bad she knows because it causes her stress and worry.I was looking at mortgage calculators today, if instead of gambling what I have in each of the last 3 months I could pay the house off 12 years earlier, which would be a much more positive thing to do. I was also reading some of the literature on here about getting some new hobbies and activities to fill your time, I've got an old cheap electric guitar under the stairs so I've ordered some new strings for that and I'll try to learn to play properly
Day 4
Nothing exciting today, just went to work now time to come home on watch the last McMafia with a few beers.
Well it's Day 7 this has to be the longest I haven't had a bet in a very long time, just noticed I first started posting on here in 2006, it shows how long I've recognised I have a problem and it makes me much more determined. I feel a lot less stressed and I don't his that hangover feeling you get when you wake up after losing a lot of money. Anyway one day at a time, hope everyone else on here is doing well too.
Day 11
Well I got to day 11 without gambling but tonight I had a bet online, stupid really it took me about an hour to find a site to bet on as I've barred myself from prettt much all of them. Any way £50 down the drain, that's not a large amount for me, but I'm really annoyed with myself. I'd had a few drinks and I'm home alone. Self excluded straight away. Tomorrow is a new day, don't know why I do it, I don't even enjoy it. Set my no gambling clock back to zero.
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