:'( can't believe I'm back here. Nothing to say

You don't need to say anything, coming back and just writing on your diary, says more than enough, you have not given up on giving up. and that you have got back up and are ready to walk the road again.

Stay strong my friend.

Suzanne xxx

i know if i leave here and start saying i'm fine

i know what the end result is going to be

hope i don't forget

so sorry to see you back

but for your sake i'm glad you are

tri

Thank you.

Mba

It happens to most of us be grateful that you got so many days previously and just be happy with every day you get now.

Mark

Fella what has been written by the other good folk is true.

I relapsed for three hours 18 months into my own journey, it shocked many folk, because in truth it was taken that I was 'cured'

The truth is that will simply never happen, I respect the fact that I am and will be an addict for life.

The relapse although deeply painful, emotionally more than anything else but today I understand the value of it.

Because it focused my attention to fully embracing recovery.

The truth is that I simply stopped gambling through those first 18 months and expected without effort just like all the days in my gambling life to be constantly rewarded.

Recovery has gifted me the opportunity to bring change, to work relentlessly on the reasons I sought the act of gambling before anything else.

I believe I understand the difference between being recovering and 'IN' recovery.

It's on offer fella, embrace it.

Put every block in place available, tell as many people as you can about your addiction, it will reward your resolve in more ways than you can imagine.

Don't waste the foundations you have laid, addiction will currently standing with open arms

The outcome of running into them, further self given misery.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi mba

Just echoing others and hoping that all is good with you. Be kind to yourself and take it one step at a time. This fight is worth fighting!

Stay strong and safe

Sandra

Hi Mba. How are you getting on?

I'd just like to echo what Duncanmac posted. That's a really good post.

Stay strong, take heart from the 150 days you accomplished, you have proven that this addiction can be beaten.

Remind yourself every day why you are doing this, never allow complacency to kick in, and you will re-embrace a proper life once again.

Best wishes

Ryan.

a week later

how are you mba?

Hi again and thanks for the comments.

I feel that i really let myself and my family down. I just haven't fancied coming on here but have since self excluded myself from the bookies I used.

My wife was very good as I told her and she understands how hard this is to do.

Sitting here now watching England vs Lithuania and yes I wanted a small bet on the game but I haven't and that's the way it will continue.

Mba

Mark

Fella don't be too hard on yourself, addiction f*****g loves it, it will try to isolate you from the rest of the world, with only one goal in its sights, to further destruct your life.

In my opinion there is nothing wrong with a part of my brain constantly formulating odds, f**k it did it for more than twenty years, but the difference between letting the gambling side of my brain think and actually partake are world's apart.

I know all to well that a small punt will just keep addiction alive, so starving it gifts me ever growing power.

Self exclusion is a wonderful gift, carry some pictures in your wallet, use them as currency, they will gift your resolve, your bank balance and that family you hold dear.

Pompey is awash with bookies there's 17 on my route from home to work and if I took a detour that quickly doubles.

Fella as I wrote here before build on your recovery, you started a journey of which you had a stumble on, your back on your feet, dusted down, lessons learnt.

Embrace it my friend.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

A quote i hear a lot in GA is "when I don't want a meeting you should run to one"

Its not easy but thanks for sharing with us

keep in touch

keep your chin up

Thanks dunc.

Yep I think a picture on my phone and in my wallet will help.

When are these live chat forums as I'll try join one.

Mba

There is a live meeting on the GA chatroom thursdays @ 9 i think, details on the website. On here every night @ 8. I find them a struggle with my one fingered typing so always 10 convos behind. Have you ever tried a real GA room?

No I haven't. What's it like?