Can't believe I've stooped this low

Yep day 4 today, I've got a couple of days of work so catching up and housework, boring but I've only been skimming the surface for so long because of being stuck in the gambling bubble. Feeling positive so all good xx

Strange it feels like ages ago that I last gambled but I'm only on day 5, I've been keeping busy with no real urges thankfully but I know that can all change in a second, block on my phone, I deleted k9 like someone said I could take it off anytime, but I brought betfilter which isn't quite so obvious once opened but would like to be able to change the app icon as I feel that is obvious (my kids pick up my phone all the time to use safari and I know there going to ask where it's gone and what the B stand for or is that just me being paranoid) been reading everyone's post and willing everyone to succeed. We can do this. Xxx

hi sam

just wondered how it was going, i see you havent posted in while, hope its going ok?

dan

Thought I would update my diary I have been on the site daily reading everyone's posts but not had the courage to comment as I continued to gamble up until sept 2018 when I finally found my rock bottom, it was the worst time of my life and after many days agonising about what to do i finally told my husband, i was completely honest about everything £32000 in total, loans, credit cards plus a loan off my brother the lot, after the initial shock we sat down and went through all our finances, we are slowly sorting things out, it's truly a amazing feeling to be able to share and be open with him and I am determined never to return to that very dark place, all blocks are in place, I urge anyone struggling to tell their loved ones, it's the only way.

Sadsam wrote:

I urge anyone struggling to tell their loved ones, it's the only way.

I really admire your determination to beat this horrible addiction. It was so interesting to read your initial posts where you wouldn't tell your husband because you were worried it would break him, but now you have come clean and you can fight this together. You know your story is pretty similar to mine. Very similar in fact... (I tried to hold off telling my wife FYI for the same reasons as you)

I havent read your diary in full but I hope you are able to address your financial situation over time and also explore the reason which may have led you to gamble in the first place, so as to develop increased self-awareness, which is imperative in this fight if you ask me. I wish you all the best. Take care

Hi All,

Im glad you managed to speak tp your husband. It must have felt like a huge relief.

You sound very determined and I pray you remain GF. How people feel and react we cannot second but I believe with or without husbands support you will get through.

Gambling has caused carnage in my life, but Im looking forward and counselling has been a God-Send.

Being a muslim shouldnt matter but its a taboo and what I am struggling with is living in a close community who are increasingly judgemental.

Just a quick update as it is a year today that I finally told my husband everything, wow so much has changed for the better, I’m not saying I have beaten this horrible addition but I am giving it a good go, no slots or scratch cards for over a year now, I can’t actually believe it myself so if you are struggling it can be done with support and the blocks in place. 

So many similars when we read this thread.. I used to cry and ask why I had got this horrid affliction. But it was my choice to walk into a casino in a trance and lose money.. My money.. Hard earned money.. I never got hooked o line. Luckily it doesn't draw me now.. I am presently day 24 gf. What a saviour this site is.. I have gone from feelings of feeling crushed to actually feeling happy.. I'm not in debt and have a bank balance but have wasted future money.. What a fool and for what. But let's not dwell.. Your story is great and I hope life keeps on giving you the best it has to offer.... Take care