Can't believe I've stooped this low

Hi Sam. Welcome to the forum and good luck on your journey...

You’ve come to a very good place. A place with like minded individuals who want to get off the evil path that gambling brings us and lead us to a happier and more fulfilled life.

Why not join one of the various challenges on the forum to keep you motivated. Or join them all.

What measures have you put in place to stop any temptation to gamble in the future? Those urges will inevitabley come back at some point and you need to make sure that you’re on your guard and ready to fight them off.

Best of luck Sam. You’ve got a great group of people here on this forum who are with you all the way. You can do this.

Moorey

Hi Mooray, I've put k9 on my phone which is a constant reminder as it's pretty obvious, trying to sort some kind of counselling out need to find one nearer home, not sure what else I can do but I do have shear force and determination to beat this, so baby steps and one day at at time. Thanks Sam

best wishes with your recovery...

I confessed a few times but only to one or two people.... I've now confessed to a much wider circle and it is helping, big time. My marriage is still in tatters because of the lies and deceipt but I did at least confess this time... had I been found out again it would of been even worse...

I'm only 213 days gamble free so very early stages, however, what is to stop you going back to gambling once the financial pressure starts to release... your husband doesn't sound like he will know either way....

Hi Sam

I know you won't want to here this but my advise is that you need to tell your husband. You won't be able to beat this alone it is too hard. It won't be easy and it will hurt him but in the long run you will be much happier instead of living with the guilt.

My wife knows everything about my addiction and yes it was hard at first but now I have blocks in place that are making it easier day by day and I have her support

I also have k9 on my phone however the only way this blocker works is that my wife has the passcode I have no idea what it is. I'm assuming you could uninstall yours whenever you like?

Hope to hear from you, take one day at a time

Dan

Hi, Thanks for your advise and will really take it onboard but I honestly believe he wouldn't be able to handle it, not sure if that's what's stopping me or the fact he will see I'm actually weak and pathetic and I am certain that will be the end of us, I've been feeling sick to the stomach not knowing which way to turn, going to put every ounce of energy into this. 2 days gamble free and for ever to go x

just for the record, my wife is very anti-gambling, has been all her life, due to her beliefs... this is the third time she had found out about my gambling

Currently we remain in the same house whilst the debt is sorted, after which we need to take a serious look at our relationship, I also continue to work on me - I have not been a nice person, I was a liar, a manipulative and (in my view now) cowardly individual. We all have to make our own choices, including yourself - if one choice is that you don't tell your husband, please at least make a choice to get some proper help....once again, my thoughts and wishes are with you

Looking to arrange some counselling so hopefully that will help maybe a few weeks down the line and my head is clearer I will tell him just can't bare the thought of turning his world upside down x

Welcome sam...and masive well done on coming here and seeking help and support...take a look at my diary...like you...I was hooked on slots...scared to tell hubby. ..ashamed...scared...etc etc. ..
Each day you remain gamble free makes you stronger to deal with you're future....because without gambling on those slots...you do have a future. ....
I was you around 650 days ago...
youre Life can change love...if you change it..
Good luck x

Hi Loxxie, I actually spent most of Saturday reading your diary you did amazingly well and made me realise I could actually do this, I know you told your husband and I was willing you to succeed. Well done and hopefully I will have the same success xx

Keep reading on here Sam..it does help love. ..
Id really advise ringing the helpline...have a chat. ..the staff have heard everything before. .they'll help with counselling. ..I found that so helpfull. .
Just take it day by day...or even hourly. ...whatever you got to do to stay away from those slots..
I completely understand you not wanting to tell hubby....as you saw in my diary I was just the same....and I know the general thinking on here is to confess. ..but...again I here what you're saying. ...have you got Any body you can confide in love ?
The early days/week's are real tough....but as you've read...they can be got through..
Call the helpline..
Set up parental blocks on internet..
Read/post on here..as much as you like. .
That's the 3 top things that
Set me on the right track. ..
None of us are bad people. ..
We just landed in a bad place. .
You can do this xx

Continueing reading everyone's diaries which is really helping me to stay focused, only 3 days gamble free but it's a start to a better life. Waiting for the counselling service to get back to me which is pretty scary in itself but I am determined not to gamble xx

Hi sam

If you really feel like you can't tell your husband at the moment maybe just get some gambling free time behind you, go to some counselling sessions and then you will be able to show him what great steps you are taking to beat this. Are you able to tell anyone else in the family or a close friend? I really do think you need someone else to set up the passcode on the k9 protection or you can just delete it whenever you want can't you?

Speak to your husband when you can, it won't be easy but I think you will feel a lot happier in the long run instead of keeping it to yourself, this is what happened to me anyway.

You have made a great start just keep posting on here and keep going

Thanks for your advise, I have spoken to a close friend she new a little but not quite how bad it had got, what you said about telling my husband is the route I'm planning to take, hopefully given time and when my heads in the right place and with proof of how determined i.e. Counselling, blocks in place and proof that I have stopped,I am I'm praying he will understand. Xx

I'm glad youve got a friend to confide in Sam. ..
Keep busy love...and remember you're not alone ....
Hope you can sort the counselling soon...
It really helped me ...
X