CasinoRoyalLoser my life

Day 12,

I am feeling horrible everything has dawned on me how much debt i have caused family how much cr** i have put my wife through. I don't even want to continue here anymore. I am finding it really hard to post here today. I woke up played with my baby for 15 mins and felt empty.... I am not interested today in anything people have to say... thanks Addiction look what you have done to me... I really f*****g hate you if you think this is funny addiction then f*** you. I am sorry guys not bothered about anything today....

CasinoRoyaLoser

Hi CL,

Unfortunately these days will happen... Your finances will work out sooner than you think so forget about that. What you have done to your family in the past, that you also cannot change no matter how much it hurts, trust me I know.

Your family have supported you up till now because they know who you really are and they believe in you to once again become that person who you once were.

They dont want to see you sad, miserable, depressed or angry... YOU have stopped, You wanted to stop, not just for yourself, but for them... Pick yourself up man! You've done 12 days, which is massive, but it only counts if you can maintain it. Now you know what I mean when I said get those barriers in place for when the dark days come.

As more time passes, these days become less frequent and your debt gets smaller.

Do not let this addiction stop you from spending time with your loved ones anymore. gk back downstairs and play with your baby. That will be the biggest 'f*** you gambling, this is my life' statement you can make right now.

By all means look at the past, but dont stare at it.

It wont change

You can only change the future by your actions today.

All the best bud,

Scambling

Casino.

Fella for me you have had the classic honeymoon period. Where you have something new and refreshing in the form of recovery. Then boom. The addictive, compulsive thrill seeking side of the brain says. Bored bored bored! My friend dont be like too many others who come here throw themselves at recovery only two weeks in log off to never return. Recovery is a life choice. A fella once told me wisely it takes 21 to break a habit and a lifetime to face up to addiction. I know which i have to face. I know you do too. Kick yourself up the backside, well kick the addictive side! And step on, there wont be fireworks everyday, the result means no fire damage, something without doubt gambling would bring. Me it wont matter if you are part of the 97 % who go back at it within a year and fall from the forum, i hope it is not the case because for you fella it will matter.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

CRL,

The easiest thing to do in life is to give up. It takes no effort at all and gives no return. I should know like so many others on here because for too long we weren't strong enough to fight this terrible addiction. The hard thing to do is to fight each and every day and promise yourself that you will continue to be honest with yourself in return for a more promising life without the deceit, anger, phscological warfare and financial ruin that long term gambling addiction provides.

So give yourself a slap and tell yourself that today may be bad but you won't make it worse by gambling. Then, tomorrow will be better because of the hard work and determination you showed today.

Personally, I love your diary. Your are brutally honest with yourself and this will serve you well going forward. You come across as a nice and likeable guy. So be nice to yourself and allow others to like you.

Tomso.

WOW thanks guys, Took all the advice went and played with my little un and feeling much better. I will not let my family down no more. I read your 3 posts over and over and over. I can do this we can do this. I will not gamble today. Addiction go take your garbage somewhere else because i'm not taking it around with me this day.

thanks everyone

CL

Hi casino ,

Thanks for your posts on my diary your doing great keep trying and keep up the fight since on the forum I have probably gambled 5% and not gambled the rest to me that is big improvement duncs is right this is a life journey keep it up my friend,

The bear

Hi CasinoLoser

I probably should be putting this comment on my page and actually probably will in a bit. But after reading your posts from today wanted to open up about something that I would give my right arm for that you have - A KID.

Before I start I want you to know I am lucky. I am lucky because I have never gotten so low about gambling. Well not for years anyway. In a nutshell my recent gambling has been controlled but I am here to stop once and for all before it all gets out of control again like 6 years ago.

Anyway the reason for the post is to say that this year me and my wife (mainly the wife) are having to go through IVF to have a child (my problems not hers) and it's the one reason I want to become gamble free. So please realise how lucky you are to have a child because I am dreading the process in case it doesn't work and then I just don't know what will happen.

I know it's easier said than done though because the gambling demon turns normal rational people into uncaring monsters. However, I feel there are enough things in this world to try and keep those demons at bay and a child seems to be one of the top things.

Remember your a dad and a good person who had an addiction. Your not a bad person at all and should never think that way.

Maybe we should all post that every day on our posts then we might believe it and that'll keep those demons at bay?? Who knows.

Keep fighting the fight.

Craig

Cheers for support cas,you always make me feel like keeping the fight going.i have gave in easy in the past with this cr** but not this time.;-) keep up the good work yourself mate.we dont have to gamble to be winners.

Scottyboy

Well done on your progress CL, you're doing great it's a long hard battle but I'm sure we'll all feel much better if we beat it. You're a great support to others too, thanks for your posts on my diary and stay strong, take care J x

Day13 No gambling this hour..

Thanks Jaz and everyone who posted recently..

I have not posted in a few days properly because i used this time to spoil my baby and wife. You are right a child is def one reason to give up gambling i literally took those words with me for the whole day.

13 days free of insanity and feeling really good.

CL

Hi CL,

Glad we pulled you back on the train before you jumped off, keep up the good work and in time you'll reap the benefits. You can then look back at yesterday and think of how happy you didnt abandon ship. P.s. It gives me great satisfaction that I have played a minor part in your recovery 🙂

regards,

Scambling

Hey CL

Congrats on the fortnight mate and for the way you are approaching your recovery!!

Don't forget to check into the 2014 Challenge over on the "overcoming problem gambling" section - needs to be there by midnight tonight!!

Take care mate,

Mr B

Hi cl

Well done on 2 weeks and have a great weekend x

Linda

Weel done on 2 weeks CL 🙂

Massive achievement bud, now aim for 3 week's!

Scambling

Hi... I just wanted to thank you for passing through my diary and to say well done on your gambling free time.

Ive read a few posts of your diary and I can see that the memories of past gambling binges are fresh in your mind. Your memories just go to show the insanity of this addiction. Sometimes I think that sharing war stories can be a mixed blessing as it can bring up all the excited feelings of the act of gambling and gloss over the down side of losing all ones money and not being able to live and function normally.

Sounds like your now focussing on the things that matter for the long term. Keep posting even when you don't feel like it. This place certainly helps to keep me grounded. I take life one day at a time only. Regards... S.A