[Closed] Charly's life

Hi (((Sabine))),

Couldnt of said it any better than Pauls... One hell of a woman!

I know how you feel about compliments... but Lady... you are just going to have to put up with it! lol Hope today is a good day my friend.

Lots of Love as always

Jackie x

Wow! Thank you all very much for your kind words. Today is a good day in Sabine's world. Angel and I are going to see the other man in my life, lol. My american musician friend is playing a gig not too far from where we live so we're going to surprise him. Tomorrow we're going to see another of my musician friends and on Sunday I am going to do the Race for Life. So far people have raised £720 on my sponsor form for Cancer Research Uk. I am humbled by peoples generosity. I will be walking the 5k as I can't do running at the moment. The chemo leaves me breathless. Walking I can do. Angel and I went on a practise walk and I managed 4 miles which is roughly 6K. Am doing this with my neighbour and her daughter. Should be fun. I'm just glad to be able to give a little bit back. They ran my story in the local paper last Tuesday which was weird. I think it brought it home somewhat when I read it. Have a fab gamble free weekend. God Bless. Charly/Sabine. xx

Hi Charly

I hope the gig went well.Get your rest today you are going to need it for tomorrow.The work you put in for others is amazing.You say walking the 5 km should be fun .It sounds like hard work to me,but im sure you will do it.Keep up the good work Jeff.

I've done it! I've walked the 5k for Race for Life and I did it in 1 hour. Am really happy with that. It was fun. I walked with my neighbour and her daughter. We were in fits of laughter most of the 5k. Mainly at the expense of my angel. Bless him. He bought a new camera and seemed to just pop out from behind trees and bushes. It was so funny to watch. Now I have the task to collect the monies people have pledged. All in all I have raised £740 and it feels great. I am very tired today but content with what I have achieved. Have a good gamble free day. God Bless. Charly/Sabine. xx

Hi Charly

Your amazing , you know that

even with all that your going through you still find time for others ............

Stay Strong girl

With luv

Kim x

charly as kim says you are one in a million..a total inspiration to me and many many others...P.s i dont have a debit card or couldve added to your figure...amazing well done 😉

I'm humbled by your kind words and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I have real issues with accepting compliments or positive kind words directed straight at me.

i am able to this to others, praise them for their achievements, encourage them in what they do and be positive to them...but, boy oh boy..if it come to me and someone directs kindness toward me....o*g..how am I going to handle that??? For so long I have been under the impression that I am a bad person, I am no good, I stole, lied, deceived those around me who loved me, for so long, that now I am honest, I find it really difficult to see this new person that is definitely emerging, because others around me say so...

Slowly slowly slowly I can see her too...a glimpse here, a glimpse there...and that makes me feel all good inside for I know I am on the right path.

Have a good weekend without gambling.

God Bless

Charly/Sabine xx

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

No tap dancing around problems

Our program calls for a "searching and fearless" moral inventory, not only in the beginning, but as we continue to follow our new way of life.

What this means is complete honesty about who and what we really are. We should not tap dance around our problems in order to evade responsibility. This will not bring the cleansing we need for real sober living. We need deep changes, not mere surface ones.

Difficult as it is to be fully honest, it's made easier when we remind ourselves that it's all for our own recovery. We benefit in proportion to the amount of honesty we bring to our inventory. If it's searching and fearless, the results will be far-reaching and substantial.

I will not shirk from facing the truth about myself as I go through the day. What I need for self-improvement will be revealed to me.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

Hi Charly.. am not the best at accepting compliments either. I think its all to do with self-esteem issues.. all the sort of stuff that probably led to the gambling in the first place. If someone pays me a compliment I simply accept it and say "thankyou thats kind of you to say" (or similar words). No need to follow up with any "buts" in order to do oneself down.

Here's another compliment ..your a good person and your doing just great in recovery. Your also a very positive role model for others working recovery, myself very much included. All the best.. S.A 🙂

Hi Charly! So many thanks for posting my diary, hope you're all fine and dandy!

Have read many a posting you've posted on other diarys and sorry but what a star you are!! Your believing and positiveness really shines through!!

Charly, many thanks for taking the time and the trouble to post on my diary--it is much appreciated as ever.

I hope that you are feeling a little better and that your fantastic effort doing the walk last week has not taken too much out of you.

I know that you struggle with being complimented so all I will say that in life we should all count our blessings and only worry about the things that we can effect by our actions. The rest of it is out of our hands I am afraid so we should not spend time bothering with it.

All the very best

Stumper x

charly....no need to post on other diaries though i know you love to...the main thing is concentrating on yourself for now...bestest wishes to you...wp x

Hi Diary

Thank you all for your kind words.

Charly had a tough day yesterday, fortunately nothing to do with gambling, 🙂

I had my chemo yesterday and the carboplatin(one of the chemo drugs) decided that the nineth time it was being administered, it would play up. I had the mother of an allergic reaction and at one point thought, I wouldn't make it. My chest closed, my throat closed and my nose blocked, my head went into some beautiful clouds...it wasn't very pleasant and took the nurses a lot of running around and a few lots of drugs to counteract this. An hour an half later I was back to normal breathing and very glad about it. I am very grateful to those nurses who are so very efficient and very good at calming you down when all you really wanna do is panic.

And my angel just sat there all calm and collected, which was good too. Not sure if I could have coped with someone around me panicing besides me, lol. I still need 2 lots of this stuff and they have booked me a bed for next time and will push it through really slow, with a lot of anti allergy stuff beforehand. I will have to stay in all day for that.

Today I feel as if I have either climbed Mount Everest or have had a 12 round boxing match with Mike Tyson. My whole body aches.

But..... I am still grateful and my day was still good, less good then others, but still good.

I appreciate the fact that without this medicine, I wouldn't be here anymore. So what's a a little allergic reaction...

I am working the G.A. programme and am currently on step 3 and 4. I realised that I wasn't working my programme for a while there, but am back on my path now.

I am practising to hand over all my stuff to this Higher Power. You see, I have issues with that at times and want to still do things my way. I know that often that just doesn't work. I know that when I control things they go wrong sooner or later, so.. I am practising to let my Higher Power deal with all of me, not just the bits I let it deal with.

Step 4 wants me to do a moral and finacial inventory of myself. Well, the financial side of things has been sorted already and I am fortunate enough to not have any debt other then our mortgage any more adn for that I am grateful.

The moral side of things....boy oh boy...there is so much of it and the more I write down, the more I remember and then I go into my shelf and think...man, I was bad at times...but... it also helps me understand this addiction fueled behavior a bit better and with time( and I ahve the rest of my life) I will be able to make amends to people I have hurt I hope. My Higher Power will guide me to make the right desicion, I'm sure.

That's all from me for today. I am going to have a rest now. My body is screaming...go and lay down.... so for a change I will listen.

You all have a gamble free day and may you find your inner peace.

God Bless

Charly/Sabine

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Reflection for the Day

The slogan "Live and Let Live" can be extremely helpful when we are having trouble tolerating other people's behavior. We know for certain that nobody's behavior - no matter how offensive, distasteful or vicious - is worth the price of a relapse. Our own recovery is primary, and while we must be unafraid of walking away from people or situations that cause us discomfort, we must also make a special effort to try to understand other people - especially those who rub us the wrong way. Can I accept the fact, in my recovery, that it is more important to understand than to be understood?

Today I Pray

When I run headlong into someone's unpleasant behavior, may I first try my best to understand. Then, if my own sobriety seems threatened, may I have the courage to remove myself from the situation.

Today I Will Remember

Live and let live.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

Wow Charly! what a day!

Sending you hugs, it must have been so frightening. I can't even imagine. Puts into perspective for me, what a load of precious time I was wasting with gambling. Enjoying every day is what really matters, not being a machine zombie.

Take care, lots of love

f x

Hope you get some much needed rest Charly girl .

tc

Kim xxx

Hai Charly!

A tough day for a tough lady, Take care Charly and rest heaps

Paul