lots of love Charly, glad to read you are looking after yourself and managing to still have a giggle.
Take care,
f x
Thanks Freda, lots of love to you too.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Boy..that is difficult sometimes.
Life has you bobbing along just nicely and then...bang
cancer is back...you deal with that and then...
bang....
brother has heart attack
you deal with those emotions - feel them, cry about it, get angry about it, and then reason the emotions in your head and move on...
until......
bang.....
mother gets diagnosed with dementia....
now this is a tough one to deal with...all sorts of emotions...again, feeling sad, scared, angry, helpless......
And then I recite the serenity prayer, I pick up my G.A. books, read them, look at the step program, look at things I have been sent, read them,....sit quietly, let all these emotions flood my mind and set to work to one by one reason with them, I cheer myself up by thinking of all the happy and crazy times I had with my Mom, I recite in my head what Mom would have said when I was scared when I was little or what I would be telling my children, I calmly talk myself out of anger... and all that while sitting quietly...all these things are going on .... in my head I am holding proper conversations and have discussions.
And now.... I am left with the helplessness
....that I cannot do anything about other then let my Higher Power take over. What a marvel the Serenity prayer really is..... I repeat it over and over again... until calm is restored in that head of mine....
I believe that it is the people surrounding the terminally ill person, or the people left behind that are the ones suffering the most.
The ill person all of a sudden finds a superhuman strength, an inner calmness. It feels like a miracle. Don't know where it comes from, but all of a sudden it is there.
And once it is there, it is there to stay and nothing that happens after that, can make that person go back to being the person they used to be...
The dying person doesn't worry about dying any longer. Their biggest worry is for those they leave behind. Will they be able to cope? What will happen after???
Sorry guys..for being so deep...well, actually..no..I'm not going to apologies for the way I feel and how I choose to deal with that...
At least I am dealing with it and not running away like I used to.....all these happenings in my life lately would have given me the perfect excuses to go and gamble in the past...
I now know there is another way for me to deal with life's ups and downs other then running away.... I am strong now, I can cope and like someone said to me... what a blessing that is...to be able to do that... cope without the need to run away and gamble....
God Bless
Sabine
xx
Hi Charly!
Sorry to here about your mum.
Life can really kick you in the teeth sometimes.
You amaze me though...you seem to have an endless amount of care and love to give to others no matter what you have been through yourself.
I would take my hat off to you if i had one!
I wish you and all of those near to you my very best.
Viggo!
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Today I will surrender to that which I cannot control.
Surrender does not mean giving up when I need to be persistent; it means letting go of that which I can't change. Surrender doesn't mean I stop trying; it means I try, and then I surrender to the outcome.
If I need to find a place to live, I can look in the paper, on the Internet, in rental or real estate publications. I can ask friends or drive around and look. I can fill out applications, make a good impression, and follow up with phone calls. I can think positively by getting ready to move, asking friends to help, fixing up the place that I'm leaving or imagining where I will put my furniture in a new place. But I will surrender to the outcome by not calling the landlord or real estate agent again and again. I will not repeatedly drive by the place where I hope to live or stop my search when I find a place I like. I will do my part and then surrender to the rest. I can believe and trust that whatever happens is for the best.
What I think I want for myself - and what I may try to force - may not ultimately be in my best interest. I will let go of constantly thinking about and analyzing the situation, and I will surrender to whatever happens, no matter how long it takes.
You are reading from the book:
Time to Fly Free by Judith R. Smith
Sorry to hear that you are having such an upsetting time Sabine,
Its rare to have blows as relentlessly as they have been for you lately.
Im glad you can draw strength from GA books, and find comfort in the serenity prayer.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Take care,
f x
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
It only takes one person to change your life - you.
--Ruth Casey
Change is not easy, but it's absolutely unavoidable. Doors will close. Barriers will surface. Frustrations will mount. Nothing stays the same forever, and it's such folly to wish otherwise. Growth accompanies positive change; determining to risk the outcome resulting from a changed behavior or attitude will enhance our self-perceptions. We will have moved forward; in every instance, our lives will be influenced by making a change that only each of us can make.
We have all dreaded the changes we knew we had to make. Perhaps even now we fear some impending changes. Where might they take us? It's difficult accepting that the outcome is not ours to control. Only the effort is ours. The solace is that positive changes, which we know are right for us and other people in our lives, are never going to take us astray. In fact, they are necessary for the smooth path just beyond this stumbling block.
When we are troubled by circumstances in our lives, a change is called for, a change that we must initiate. When we reflect on our recent as well as distant past, we will remember that the changes we most dreaded again and again have positively influenced our lives in untold ways.
Change ushers in glad, not bad, tidings.
You are reading from the book:
Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey
thank you my friend for your caring and thoughtful post...most appreciated even with all your personal troubles you still take out time for others...such an inspiration 😉
xx @ wp - God Bless
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Taking it easy
Easy does it. Pushing does not help our program; it only causes more pressure within us. "If it doesn't work," we have thought, "get a bigger hammer." But if we only wait for the opportunity, we will be given the opportunity to work out each of our difficulties.
It is better to work out a problem by taking two steps forward and one step back, rather than to push and try to solve it at once, fail, and then stop trying. It helps to remember that we are never given more than we can handle, one day at a time.
Have I learned to take it easy?
Higher Power, I depend on You for my very breath. Help me realize that the more I depend on You, the more I accept Your help, the more I can handle.
You are reading from the book:
Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous
Here's another one 🙂
It's all food for thought.
Being open minded is a big part of my recovery. It is not always easy doing that, as it was instilled in me over years to have an opinion. But being opinionated does not help my recovery, it hinders it.
Today I try to be openminded.
Love and hugs to all
God Bless
Sabine x
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
When am I manipulative?
Without understanding our motives, we can easily lapse into behavior aimed at manipulating others. Sulking is a means of letting others know we are displeased and forcing them to attempt to win our approval. Flattery is a false expression of approval that we don't really feel - giving others good strokes for our own purpose. Withholding deserved praise is a means of putting others down, something we're likely to do because of our jealousy.
Manipulative behavior is almost always selfish behavior. It is usually a false means of trying to get our own way. It is certainly an immature way of dealing with people and situations.
The best way to avoid being manipulative is to be ourselves at all times. We have neither the right nor the responsibility to control or regulate other people. Our best approach, in trying to influence another's actions, is simply to state our own case with sincerity and honesty. Others must be free to act, free to choose, and free to make their own decisions without manipulative interference on our part.
I will be myself at all times today. I will not assume false roles simply for the purpose of bending others to my own will. Manipulative behavior is controlling behavior, which I must avoid.
You are reading from the book:
Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.
Hiya Sabine,
I haven't been here for a long time but just wanted to say hiya 🙂
Del xo
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
When you do all the talking you only learn what you already know.
--Anonymous
One of the secrets for finding answers to any emotional problem is to talk with fellow members we can confide in fully. We don't need to look any farther than our sponsor or the members who are part of our recovery. We quickly find those who always hear with a complete understanding about how we feel.
Such friends are perfect listeners because they have suffered and survived the same types of problems. They are compassionate and sympathetic. They listen to us patiently while we completely describe our emotions. Only then do they share details about how they survived. Just knowing that they understand is comforting to us.
My listeners can't solve my problems for me. But they do show how they used the tools that are available in the Program to work through the same kinds of problems.
You are reading from the book:
Easy Does It by Anonymous
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Reflection for the Day
I've heard it said that when God closes a door, a window opens. Since I started working the Twelve Steps, much of the fear and pain that haunted my life is gone. Some of my defects have been lifted from me, though I'm still wrestling with others. I believe that if I continue to work the Twelve Steps over and over again, my life will continue to improve physically, mentally, and spiritually. Am I more willing and better able to help others by working the Steps myself?
Today I Pray
I give thanks to God for showing me that the Twelve Steps are a stairway to a saner life. As I re-work them conscientiously, my life does get better, healthier, and nearer to my Higher Power. As I continue to live them, may I feel the same gratitude and exaltation of spirit as those who are just now discovering them.
Today I Will Remember
Step by Step, day by day.
You are reading from the book:
A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous
Hi Charly/Sabine.
Thank you for your post.Much appreciated!
Lovely post that last one of yours.I really hope alls well with you.You are an inspiration - i hope you know that.
All my best.
Viggo.
Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.
--Albert Einstein
Anger can be a healthy emotion, provided we don't wallow in it or attack other people. When we express anger honestly and without reservation, we can prevent walls of resentment from building up and blocking us off from the intimacy that we strive for in our relationships.
When we allow anger to fester in our heart, we surrender our peace of mind and lose our sense of purpose and self-worth. When we harbor anger rather than openly and respectfully expressing it, we no longer hear our inner spirit. Thus we are cut off from our innate wisdom to guide us in our actions.
We're often drawn to people who express their feelings honestly. This style of communicating serves as an invitation to build a relationship with them based on trust. From this trust we learn to open ourselves to God's love for us as we are.
Today I will feel my anger, express it when necessary, and then let it go so that I can deepen my trust of other people and of God.
You are reading from the book:
In God's Care by Karen Casey
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterward, when you've worked on your own corner.
--Aldous Huxley
Taking responsibility for our own attitudes, actions, and neglects is far more difficult than managing and directing other people's lives.
Giving advice to another, for example, is much easier that practicing what we preach. If we would apply our advice to our own lives, we would have less time to criticize, correct, or interfere in someone else's difficulties. Moreover, we would be amazed at how many alternatives we have within our own *** that could solve, or at least alleviate, the problems in our lives.
TODAY - Let me realize I am far more positive and productive when I concentrate my efforts and thoughts on changing myself and my own actions. Give me the courage to act on my own internal wisdom.
You are reading from the book:
The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes
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