Day 1... Came clean

Hello Katiecoo,

Well done for posting honestly about your slip-up and for continuing to use your thread. As this thread is like a diary thread, with over a hundred posts, we've moved it from 'New members' to 'Recovery diaries'.

Most of our forum users will know what it can feel like to have a slip up. Perhaps now you're examining what happened in case that helps you to strengthen your recovery or relapse-prevention methods. Reflecting on slip ups can sometimes help you to identify thoughts, feelings or other situational factors that promoted your gambling urges. With that learning, you can consider how to support or protect yourself more effectively. If you like you can talk it over with an adviser on our freephone or netline.

Take care,

Forum admin.

Hi Katie for what it's worth Relapses are quite common.
But some good can come out of them. Like think back what you were doing. What made you feel you needed to gamble. And work a way round it. So next time your armed and ready.
Just remember it's a marathon not a sprint.
The turtle wins this race

Bw
Deano x

Like Deano said it's a learning curve your not back at square one use the knowledge you have picked up along the way. You managed 50 plus days I think and you started to feel good.

Your last post on your diary said if it wasn't for the blocks you might if gambled, what block did you get round? How can you sure it up to stop this route becoming a option in future.

No block is ever fool proof and if you want to gamble you will find away. Put as many blocks in place as you can, I always say I have more blocks in place than a Lego factory.

Keep posting and just stay away from the first bet

KTF

I gambled on my mobile, all laptops in house are blocked. I think it was because I haven't been paid in 5 weeks and was looking for a quick something to treat me....

I haven't lost money , however I am now feeling very agitated. I was beginning to have the joy of a calm life.. just confirmed to me that I really don't want or need this Sh**

Hi Katiecoo,

Be kind to yourself and don't let the negativity manifest. It's not the money we loose or win, it's the mindfook the nasty escape provides.
I am gonna be honest, it won't be bed and roses next few days, you might get urges again, but please keep making the right choice, make an action and stand back up again! You're doing well, you truly are!

It is a lesson...i nearly slipped last month...i slipped so many times in my nearly 4 years on here i lost count, but i never gave up the fight! We MUST not give..never ever!!..learning curve, that all it is .the addiction is strong but we are indeed stronger! Never forget that!

Be kind to yourself and keep riding it all out, the calm will return, with more understanding about yourself and your actions to boot!

Just for today - stay safe

S x

Thank you hopeful soul. The slip has confirmed to me how I really don't want to be on this rollercoaster. Hopefully will make me stronger

Hi Katie....You came back...You admitted your slip.... that takes courage, please try not to let it get you down.

Have you thought bout changing to a more basic mobile with no internet? This seems to be the only avenue that you don't have blocks in place....With me it was using cards..I destroyed them all, including my debit card....I've gone back to living on cash, I leave enough in bank to cover direct debits for household bills and I withdraw the remainder in cash... it never felt like really money when I was depositing online over and over again... until there was nothing left & the credit card statements came in!

Yeah I can't shop online anymore but it's a small inconvenience. I can't gamble!

Take care Katie...Sending you huge huge buckets of support, you are not alone...

Mari x

Hi Katie

Hope you're keeping well 🙂 and you were honest about your little slip and we support you as always. 🙂

Here's to you coming back stronger ... and ten times more resolved !

P.S. Being GF isn't easy. Over many years I have had countless relapses. This is one helluva enemy we're fighting. Keep gritting those teeth, as I do ..... Day by day, despite the enemy's continued attempts to thwart us, we remain resolutely determined!!!

With you all the way.

Thanks Mixer. Flat out now at work as covering overtime, so gambling last thing on my mind and hopefully will stay this way. I had an anxiety trigger which set me off, but under control now

OK, back to my diary after my blip...I have been reading the forum a lot this week, but felt very unmotivated to write. P****d off that I slipped up, but back on the wagon . I will get well

Good to see you posting Katie...Have you thought about getting a blocker on your mobile? It seems that was the only avenue open to you...Close it and stay safe 🙂

You will feel awful just now but every single day that passes you will start to feel better... and stronger.

You are not alone...

Mari x

I have had a truly awful week at work... a huge trigger, but no money or access to gamble. I MUST keep the triangle broken

I would have if I could have, but I can't. No free money as bills due out on Monday and anything left over I will lift out of my account for my money tin..phew

It's hard coming back after a relapse ...but it happens!! You learn from it Hun, I've done it a few times now...each time it made me feel worse. The last time destroyed me. I've made more changes this time so fingers crossed it will work this time. Cmon Hun your the cheery one..always positive...don't let it get you...kick Mr G where it hurts!! X