Feeling vey positive. Writing everything down is brilliant for me as i have kept this secret for 8 years and its all spilling out now. I have worked out why i gamble - lost my mother when i was 11, lost my father when i was 34 and got cancer aged 36 so i gamble to forget, however it has gone beyond that . I am very lonely even though i am married and two children. They are teenagers and are in their rooms most of the time! My husband goes to bed at 9 because he works at 5 next morning every morning . Hes a farmer. I am free after 9 at night and disappear to a spare bedroom where the computer is . I can hide there you see and gamble away. I have moved the computer to the porch near front door now pretending this would be better for all the family (boy can i lie!!). This has helped a lot as it is too public now , however i have moved onto gambling on my iphone. Its only one website i use because it has instant hi lo games (hardly play anything else). I have blocked accounts with them however they allow me to open more and more!!
Addiction is an emotional anaesthetic for many. Behavioural displacements soothe & calm. It is learnt behaviour so therefore can be unlearnt by using new coping tools & directly facing that which causes us pain. I learnt from a very early age as a lot of children do that an external behaviour can make me feel better. Thumb sucking is a common one a first lesson in life that if i do something to distract me from what is causing me anxiety it will disappear. I have taken that early lesson throughout most of my life believing it worked. Nail biting, smoking, drinking,s*x, shopping, food, drugs, gambling, i have tried them all. I had to finally accept that my way of coping didnt work & try something new. When i tackle what is troubling me directly i no longer need addiction to solve it for me.
Best of luck. The solutions are out there we just need the courage to apply them
Thanks day
Ok thanks i have excluded from this site however they allow me to open more accounts. Im trying to get them to block my cards
Just been reading your story pob, do you get much time with your husband? I understand being a farmer is hard work and alot of hours. Its sad to hear you are lonely even with 2 kids and a husband.
Have you asked yourself what is missing to make YOU happier in yourself and give you that extra bit of self belief. Feeling lonely is awful as it leads to depression amongst other things i.e gambling in your case, sounds like you have had a hard time learning to live with death in your family i imagine that must be very hard.
Its good to know that you are here now and feeling more positive about things though. If we think positive we attract positive outcomes into our lives, if we think negative we invite negative outcomes to our lives. The law of abundance is crucial to all of us if we want to progress as we wish.
Anyway i hope you are well today and yesterday was once again a success for you!
Problems at home / work , stress , upset are all main triggers of gambling this is a way of escaping the real world and enter the fun and thrills of maybe winning big and taking your mind off somewhere else.
I found this was my main trigger and reasons but thousands of pounds later and the upset which follows what I call blow outs in which you lose a fortune usually ends up causing more stress in the long run.
Personally block every website you have accounts with , if you are serious about stopping call the websites customer care explain you have a serious gambling problem and request to be self excluded for 5 years , that way there is no way the accounts can be reopened in that time , maybe even consider talking about your problem open and honestly with someone , if your not ready to tell your partner , maybe call gamcare.
Only your own will power and putting blocks in place will see you on the road to recovery , I promise you the road to recovery is great , the first week is not so good but when you start building the days of non gambling you will see such a dramatic change.
Good Luck
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