Day 6

Sat in the toilet at work. My usual place to go on the slots. Not today! Decided to come on here instead. Made to it day 8, determined to get to day 10 this time. We are moving and I am switching jobs, so money is really tight at the minute. I also owe alot of annual leave so I won't get paid December. Usually I would try to get money with gambling, but I'm starting to see that this will only make the situation worse. We just have to get through these bad times, and then get back on track. On wards and upwards.

Feeling absolutely sick about the amount of money I've spent in the past. Trying to figure out when I thought it was acceptable to be depositing 100s in one day. I only earn an average wage. What a fool.. Can't let this dread keep me down. Need to keep going. Tomorrow will be day 9 then I'll almost be at day 10 for the first time.

Afternoon Becky,

well done on getting to 9 days. it does get easier I understand your fears of a relapse but this not always the case I have done since the 23/9/15 without a bet so over 3 years.

I remember thinking I won’t be able to do a day without a bet but with the right support and commitment I have managed it. a key thing you need to do is let the loses go they aint coming back and if you think you can win them back you will only be setting yourself up for an even greater fall. Even if you do have that win you will only go and give it back as we can’t win because we can’t stop.

I’d recommend getting as many blocks in place as you can, GamBan, Gamstop handing over your finance to your husband and be completely honest with him, tell him everything you owe don’t leave anything out it will only come back and bite you on the ****.

Call Gamcare arrange some counselling and I can’t recommend GA enough, it saved me, and keep reading the diaries on here yes some have slips but you can learn from them and don’t make the same mistakes they did and others like my story show you can go without a bet and build your life and get the trust back of those around you.

I can’t stress how important it is to let go of the loses if you keep thinking about them they will consume you and may push you down that road of relapsing.

KTF

Thank you for your comments. You are right, even if I won I wouldn't stop I would lose more in the long run. I will try to let it go, its just tough when I know how much has been wasted. Tonight is particularly tough cause its the first time I've been home alone since I decided to stop. I've got to day 9 again, so here's to day 10 tmoz. I won't give in, I can't.

Well done Becky for your days gf I had a mindset previously about what I had lost and it got at me and it was a constant reminder. What I am trying to / done is put this into a “done box” I owe a large figure I have allocated in my budget an amount each pay day the goes in a small way to pay off. My mind is trying to be positive “it won’t ever get worse” and the money paying it off is like a household bill. It’s not easy to park it but worrying / getting angry I found made me think I will get it back! I will show them! And that always ended badly. Turn it round to “ I will never waste another £1” keep posting stay gf!