Hi. New member. Last bet Sunday 5th June 2016. Had a couple of bad weeks losing thousands on internet roulette. Got through month one, paying all my bills and food etc via payday loans and borrowing from friends. But once paid, I thought I'd win some money to pay everyone back. Big mistake. Down to 580 pounds. I emptied my bank account to stop me betting online. However I spent Sunday flitting between c****s and Jennings. Managed at one point to get to 810 pounds. But as always kept playing and lost the lot. In a funny way I was both horrified and relieved. I had no more money to gamble and something has clicked in my head and I've an overwhelming desire to quit forever. Advice welcome
I've come to realise that throughout the last twenty years or so, all my financial issues have been through my inability to control my gambling. In my late teens I'd readily put ВЈ100 into a ВЈ50 jackpot fruit machine and walk away with nothing. Even the occasions I won the jackpot I'd be £50 down until I'd put it all in again. One particular trip springs to mind. I was on a football tour of France. On the ferry across the channel, I filled the machine with 80 francs, my whole allowance for the trip. I seem unable to stop and walk away until I run out of money.
I recall as a youngster betting on fruitys when the jackpot was £4.80 in tokens. What was all that about tokens.
What steps have you taken to help you start you gambling recovery?
KTF
Hi KTF. Tokens indeed!!!!! I had something snap in me Sunday. Felt like a sea change in my mind. I've given my brother all bank, debit and credit cards. I've self excluded from two of the three sites I was using. I'm struggling to do the third at the moment. Not due to wanting to bet but the need to print, scan and e-mail the forms. Or is that just an excuse. I've joined this site which has been helpful too.
I've also been to my first GA meeting on Tuesday. Not sure whether I should be happy or sad but I fitted right in!
I have no money or access to it so betting is out of my reach currently. I've been having thoughts about not betting in the future. But can't really fathom it. Not going to cards nights or the races with friends. Not buying lottery tickets or betting on the golf. But I guess it's as the book says. One day at a time
Good stuff mate, if you think it might be an excuse it's probably an excuse. Slam the door shut what's the point in not closing it behind you.
Funny you should say about fitting into GA I've just answered the same question on Deano's diary. The rooms can be special place be honest with yourself and they will give you loads back.
KTF
I've experienced that relief you talk of in your first post. Thank god it's over and I can rebuild now. Problem is it needs to be over because if those bad thoughts reappear you're just starting again from an even worse spot. Stay focused pal.
Thanks for the comments. And yes it's very early days. The relief I felt was immense. Really strange but great feeling. I've told my partner and she's finding it very hard to comprehend. I've also told my parents, they've helped me with food and petrol. I told one of my friends tonight. He rents a room from me. I told him I have a massive gambling problem and I've self excluded and given my bank cards to my brother. He said well if you want a bet on the Euros you can give me the money and I'll put it on for you!!!! Unbelievable!!!! Who needs friends like that. One day at a time.
You have to laugh don't you I was asked to put a bet on the national by someone, they thought it would be OK for me to do it for them.
Keep close to this place mate it helps massively read lots and keep posting.
KTF
So I'm six days in. Feel fantastically positive about the future. The Euros are a great temptation. However I've turned my cards into my brother and my online banking has been taken over by my parents. I have no money but still have a thought that how can I continue will the rest of my life without placing a bet, having a cards night, buying a lottery ticket. Just seems bizarre
Thanks Half-Life.
My name is Rob. I'm a CG. My last bet was Sunday 5th June 2016. It was a loser. I lost £810. Tonight was my second GA meeting, hence the text above. Feeling really positive and have fuel burning inside me to STOP gambling forever. I'm finding the meetings and this forum to be a huge help.
One day at a time.
22 days bet free. First time in over 20 years. Feel very positive about the future. Attending weekly GA meetings and one to one counselling. Put blocks and measures in place. Handed over my financial affairs. With the help of loved ones, family, support groups and brilliant forums like this, I'm feeling very happy about the future. Even if England lost to Iceland. Wishing you all a sunny, happy, gamble free day
Same to you mate. Sounds like you have some good things in place to come out on top for once.
KTF
44 days in and although I sometimes feel depressed having very little money, I'm fully aware of the hideous other option of gambling. I've found strength here, so thanks for your posts. I'm attending weekly counselling sessions via gamcare which are valuable. But the place I love and feel most at home is my Tuesday night GA meeting. Even after a long day at work in this heat, I'm looking forward to the 1.5 hour round trip to partake in my meeting. I've read lots on here about the religious side of GA and it putting people off. I'm yet to really witness it. So I'm happy it's Tuesday. Hope you all find your inner peace and enjoy this summer's evening.
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