Day 39 GF - no desire to bet.
Still in a bit of s depression mode. Had a fun afternoon with the little guy though. Me and his mum took him to a play centre and for a bite to eat. It was good. It is nice that we can still do these things together and not want to kill each other if you get what I mean. Feeling a bit low tonight but keeping busy with some online work as I wait, and hope, for the mood to pass.
Day 40 GF - No desire to bet
For forty days and forty nights
I have had no bets, no gambling frights
No temptation for the game
No relapse to bring me shame
No sneaking or hiding like a rat
No lying and cheating like a prat
No bringing hurt to those I love
No longing for the gambling shove
With a sense of sorrow in my heart
I build again, a brand new start
No longer wanting to cause pain
Determined not to bet again
I sight of life as it should be
A glimpse of hope, a better me
Forty days I did for sure
Now raise a glass to forty more
Day 41 GF - No desire to bet.
Just saying hello today. Keeping myself busy and waiting for my mood to lift.
Stay strong all.
Day 42, 6 weeks GF - No desire to bet.
No great celebration, more reflecting on what I have messed up.
Stay strong all.
Day 43 GF - no desire to bet
Your doing great ant keep up the good work pal
Day 44 GF - No desire to bet.
My depression is very low today, very dark times indeed topped off with a lot of bad news. Life is c**P at times.
Hiya pal times are hard and your going through a really hard time you have done such a great job from stopping gambling and with the bi polar .pick up a phone speak to a friend or family you can do this there's so much life as to offer stay strong pal .keep.in touch
I have no intention to bet Tommy. I have no desire too, nothing is pulling me towards it. i will still be GF by tomorrow. This is my mind, my depression, my life. The bipolar diagnosis is making me realise what is inside me. It upsets me at time and I hate it sometimes. I will come to terms with it in the end. I have to accept that this is with me for life. I will get through, I just hateb the depression moods I get, and this is not even one of the bad ones. Ta for looking out for me though bud, appreciated.
Hi AntAnt, I know it’s hard, may even feel impossible, but try not to isolate buddy! It’s a rubbish diagnosis but @ least you know what you’re up against now & you will not only come to terms with it but you will figure out how to live alongside it if you keep pushing through.
#standinginyourarmy
Hi AntAnt, just catching up with your diary.
Things seem a bit low at the moment for you? It must make staying gamble free even tougher. But you're managing it, and times like this make me realise that after everything I've been through - people are doing SO much more than me.
Honestly man, you're smashing it every single day.
Take care.
Everyone, I am fine. I am just in a low mood.
I have no desire to bet, Day 46 GF today, my thing is my mental health. I bet when I get severe stress in my life. i went 3 and a half years without thinking about betting, then in June this year my wife had a cardiac arrest, I did CPR, she was on ICU and they said she may die, she is likely to be brain damaged. (she is fully recovered now)The stress led me to that awful place and I slipped. I have since been diagnosed with bipolar 2 and they are ntrying to rush through a full diagnosis do i can start medication, another thing to worry about, though i know what I have now. It is hard, my moods are hard, my life is hard, but believe it or not I am positive for the first time in years. I can work towards what makes me use gambling as an escapism when I face severe stress. I will get there. I am low at the moment, I will come out of it in time and be the loon who makes people laugha gain, can't have the clown being down now can we.
"It's ok not to be ok"...has massive meaning in our wellbeing.
You have gone through a lot, keep on walking, better times are awaiting.
Good to spk to you on chat ☺
Have a good Sunday!
Day 50 GF - No desire to bet
The half-century, the big 5,0, I guess this is one of those milestones? It is nice to have 50 up there but I have no celebration in me. I know I can achieve a long run of being GF. I did 3 and a half years before this one. I can go without thinking of betting one bit. However, it is that one worry that something stressful in my life will kick it off again in the future. That trigger, and how to cope with it, is what I am now working towards. I never want to go back to gambling. I hate it with a passion.
I also sometimes feel guilty being on this forum. I mean, most of my problems are mental health related, and while I will always say I am a gambling addict, I also wonder is it fair me being on here? I read other stories, many inspire me and give me hope for my own future. Many also show how people struggle with temptation almost every day. As I do not get that I feel guilt. I am not going to leave the forum, I like it here and it helps me. Just trying to explain my very overthinking mind.
Keep going all, and stay strong.
Well done mate
Yes its just a start but it is still an achievement nonetheless. As for the forum i think its totally fine to be selfish and take from it what works for you. No need to feel guilt, we are all just working to the same goal regardless of how we get there. You posting here and adding content to this site will help others. No need to overthink. Speaking out inspires others to look to help themselves.
Keep it up, lets keep enjoying the gamble free life!
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