121 done!
It’s been a tough read on here today. So many posts just like my life. Brought back so many memories. Heartbreaking to imagine anyone going through what I went through, but everyone in here had to go through the tough part. It will change your life forever one way or the other. For all of us it’s a new start. For some; it’s a massive new start. Doesn’t matter in the long run. As long as we don’t gamble; things will get better. It may not seem like it, but it will.
4 months ago, I swore to never gamble again. I came clean, it cost me my whole world. Today, I’ve still not gambled. I’ve still lost my whole world, but I’m not an emotional wreck, I have some money, I can enjoy the life I missed, I can sleep, there’s so many things I can do now. That’s after 4 months. Imagine how I’ll feel when I’m free from debt.
Unfortunately the only way to beat gambling is to focus purely on that. It will ruin your life if you don’t. The sooner you do it, the less damage it will cause. Hopefully quitting won’t ruin your relationships, your family, you’re home, but if it does, you’re only getting it over with sooner, and with less damage to the other parties.
You can get through this, you can be happy. Tried and tested. This guy is proof!
Stay strong 💪
@p6z38njbqm Hi Fish. 🐟. Yes, I have just written in my post that I have noticed a new influx of people, really struggling and at rock bottom!😢. A place where you and I have been. 🙈. However, we also both know that once committed to giving up, everything will in time get better 👍.
Keep going Fish 🐟 and keep making your life happier 💪.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
4 months ago today I placed my last bet. That time has flown by. Things have changed, dramatically, in my life, but quitting was by far the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done and I wouldn’t change anything if it meant gambling again. Sometimes you need a huge event in your life to force a change. I’m pretty confident I would have quit had my ex taken the decision to stay together, however I still don’t think we would have lasted. One thing I’ve learned though is that you can beat gambling alone. It’s tough and takes allot of inner strength, but it can be done.
I get paid in 2 days, and for another month I have money left. I even have a savings account for a rainy day. I don’t think I’ve ever had a savings account! My relationship with money is in such a good place right now. I’m planning how to get on the property ladder. Figuring out how much I can afford to overpay a mortgage to get it down quicker. I’ve panned a pension route. This is not the me of past. 2024 has been the year of my maturing. Took a while, but addictions prevent that occurring. They take over everything. Now I can see clearly the road ahead and it’s a beautiful one. Yes there is still emotional pain, yes there will be gambling urges, yes money will be tight for a bit, but I’ve got a plan and it’s a plan that excites me.
That’s enough from me. Up early for work again tomorrow.
Stay strong 💪
@p6z38njbqm Hi Fish 🐟. I love it when a good plan starts to come together and we get to see/feel the benefits 👌👏👏. I too get paid in 2 days time and I have £6.00 left in my bank account!🤣. Talking of plans however, one of mine from September onwards, is to build up my bank balance so that as each month passes, I have more money remaining than the previous month!🤞🙏.
Take care Fish and hopefully catch up on live chat on “Treat Thursday”🍫😋.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
That’s exactly my plan too pinky. Plan on having a good savings pot by the end of the year. Feels so good to be in a place where I’m even considering saving, let alone doing it!
Day 123. Tough day at work today but got through it. Kept a close eye on protestors after those muppets hit Gatwick. Don’t really get the idea behind ruining daily lives. I get their cause but they need to get support, not alienate the population by impacting their lives. Anyway that’s a bit political for this thread!
Still more desperate stories on here lately. Payday soon too for many so I suspect there will be more shortly. Hard to read, but we all gotta start somewhere so important. Tough to see the impact on others too. We are not bad people as gamblers. We just don’t feel emotions when it comes to our addiction. All we focus on is the buzz. Just a shame it has a huge impact on those around us. There is too much bad things going on in the world right now to have gambling ruining lives too. So glad I’m free from that, well as free as I’ll ever be.
Off to escape in my book for a bit before bed. Another early one tomorrow.
Stay strong 💪
124 done. In bed already, work is so tiring! Off til Sunday now. Got a day with doggy then might head to see my family. Love to see them but feel like I need some alone time. Been so hectic at work and then days off with dog waking me up at 05:00. Feel absolutely shattered. Maybe a good night sleep tonight will sort me out.
stay strong 💪
Day 125. Up early tomorrow because the dog is here. His usual routine is to wake me up at 5. Luckily I’ve been up at 5 the last 6 days so should be ok. Would be nice to get a lie in though. Couple of posts have really hit home at how much pain this addiction brings to the world. Easy for us to say we have quit and we are doing well, but we’ve left carnage in our wake. It’s no different to drug or alcohol addiction really. They all need money to live. They all involve lies. They all create people who are not what they seem. I’m just glad I’m out of that now. It does take a massive effort to get out of the grips of it, and honestly, you have to really want it. There is no half measures. I hope some of the new posters find the strength to get the help they, or their loved ones, need.
Stay strong 💪
Day 126. It’s 19:00 and I’m in bed! That dog really does tire me out. Woke me up at 03:00 and then 05:00. Grrrrr. Anyway I’m really enjoying my book so I don’t mind being in bed this early. Hopefully get a lie in tomorrow but have a funny feeling I’ll wake up early again.
Thought about gambling today. Not as in I’m going to gamble, but about how it’s changed everything for me. It’s changed who I am. The now and the then are 2 completely different people. I’m so stress free now. I enjoy the simple things. Before I needed to be doing something, usually gambling. I needed constant stimulation. Now I can relax for the first time in my life. My days off are enjoyable instead of being drink and gambling fuelled disasters! It’s amazing how quickly your life can change when you quit.
Anyway, back to my book. Edmond has just found his fortune and the plan for vengeance has begun!
Stay strong 💪
Day 127 and 128. Had an impromptu visit to see the family yesterday. Got to see my baby nephew too which was great. Not seen him that often. Was nice to spend time with family but it’s always nice to get home, especially when you have a new mattress that’s not been tested yet! In bed already. Saturday night party animal!! In fairness I’m working tomorrow and have been itching to get back to my book.
Stay strong 💪
Day 129. At work so getting this post done early so I can have an early night.
Gambling for me is done. I feel invincible now. Luckily I know I am not. The urges still come, albeit, very occasionally. They are easily dismissed. I know one slip could end it all though. It's amazing to feel gamble free, but still always feels a little bit like a tightrope walk. One slip and its all over. That's where this, and others, diaries come into it for me. It's horrible to read of others misfortune, but I read each and every new entry. The newcomers section is always a tough read, but it brings me back to why I'm doing this and gives me motivation. It makes me want to meet these people and say 'look, it can be done'. I never though I could do this, especially alone, but I have done it and if I can do it, anyone can. The hole seems so deep on day 1, but you can climb out the hole remarkably quickly.
Gamblers live for quick fixes. 1 big win and I'm sorted. It never comes. Unfortunately there is no quick fix for recovery, but it does feel quick once you get through the early stages. Life improves, things get easier. All it takes is a little bit of commitment, honesty, and some desire to be a better person. Trust me, you will be a better person. In every way.
129 days clean and this is the happiest my mind has ever been. Go back 128 days and I was at the worst point in my life. It really is that simple. Time will fix things as long as your work at it one day at a time.
Wishing everyone all the best in their own recoveries.
Stay strong 👍
@p6z38njbqm well done 🐠🐟🐠 the days are stacking up!
I absolutely agree with your point. The gamber in us wants the quick fix but true recovery takes time and a different attitude.
I found this hard with the debt that I am in. I wanna quick fix but the reality is that it will take time to pay it off. In truth all the worthwhile things in life take time.
It is sad to read the new posts from people who are in the same place that we were months ago. Particularly sad are the ones who post once and then you never hear from them again.
Onwards and upwards matey 👍🏼
Couldn’t agree more mate. I think the ones who post once are maybe not ready to fully commit. I may be wrong, maybe they’ve found other ways to cope, but for me this open forum to get my thoughts out has been a huge help.
Day 130. Missing another GA meeting tonight as I’ve got the dog. Will hopefully get to go next week. I do feel like they help, but I also feel like I can cope without attending every session. If work allowed I would go to every meeting, but I’m in a good place and use this diary to compensate.
Poor dog is struggling today. It’s been super warm here and he’s panting away. Gonna have to buy a fan for him I think. My place gets warm on hot days. Will help disperse his b*m smells too. He’s just let one go and my eyes are melting 😂
Back to my book now. Nearly finished so will have to sort a library trip out soon. Great for keeping my mind busy. Highly recommend getting a reading habit if you are quitting gambling.
Stay strong 💪
Day 131. No issues, feeling good.
I find myself having to hold back on offering advise to everyone on here. I’m no expert on giving up. I’m just another gambler, who’s managed to go 131 days without gambling. Any advice I give is just what I’ve been through. All our stories are similar in that we have done things we wouldn’t dream of doing usually and ended up ruining everything we’ve built up in our lives. What works for some, may not work for others. Ultimately though if anyone reading this needs the golden answer, it’s to be honest (with yourself and others), put blocks in place (as many as you can), and seek help. There are obviously other things to consider, but if you start with those 3 things you’re on your way.
Trying out a new mattress tonight. The last one I bought was too small. It’s a double, so that’s how awaiting a new bed frame for the spare room. The king mattress arrived today and boy is it comfy! In bed now (dog got me up at 5 again), and about to enjoy a night of book reading and mattress testing!
Stay strong 💪
132 days g/f and feeling good. Its been a long road so far and there is a long road ahead but feeling good about the journey so far. I've mentioned how tough it is to read of all the new people starting out on their journeys, but on the flip side, there is also many success stories. There are a few of us on or around the 100 day mark who started our journeys at similar times. To have that connection with them and realise that you are all going through the same emotions is really useful. It is easier now, it was tough to begin with. Trying to remember the early days of recovery is hard. The brain quickly forgets the negative emotions and it gets harder to imagine how bad it was. This to me is dangerous. It's why I read my diary often. To remind myself how gambling ruined me completely. I need this reminder and I think that even 5 years down the line I will still regularly do this. It will be too easy to forget and become complacent. That's why I decided to keep a diary and I highly recommend others do the same.
Anyway, I'm at work tonight so better get back to it.
Stay strong 👍
Day 133. Finished my book today. I’ve read it before and will read it again. The count of monte christo. If you’ve not read it, please do. It’s a thousand pages of excellence. It will take your mind away from anything. I watched the film straight after. I don’t gamble so I could afford the 3:49 for it on amazon. Money not well spent 😂. I can understand they had to cut it down. It would a 15 hour film otherwise, but they lost the whole core theme of the book in my opinion.
Anyway, the gambling things is still good. Hope you are all well.
Stay strong 💪
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
