Determined to keep a diary

170 and counting!! Woop woop to you and keep going!

o*g, I was roaring with laughter just now 🤣😂..thank for that..well needed medicine...big lips hahahaha

Youre right, its pictures of people and it's rare to find a match...all 3 of my recent exes are from dating apps..exes gives it away lol..however it's difficult to find real life connections in this day and life and I think people are choosing online dating option as its more flexible maybe?...like me, I don't go out or socialise and all I see is mountain sheep if I hike lol, same old faces at the gym..and long gave up on waiting for a cute postie drop by my doorstep lol..so what has girl left to do? 😂

Hope your Sunday is peaceful and relaxing.  Keep up good work with abstaining and maintaining..life is so much more than this!

X

Day 171. 

Im glad my stories amuse! It amused me too to think I was ready for anything like that. More than happy to plod on solo and see what happens.

Had a proper man day today. Watched sport all day. Darts and F1. Loved it. Do feel a bit lazy though. Back to work tomorrow after my ‘honeymoon’. Not looking forward to it. Early start and long day. Looks like it will be a busy one too. 

2 weeks pretty much by myself done. Was quite lonely, but nice to have time off. Sorted my place out a little. Got a bed in the spare room now in case I ever have guests. Got a laptop to do my OU work and made a good start on it. Best thing is, I didn’t even think about gambling once. I’m not saying I’m cured, but I am saying that in under 6 months I’ve managed to erase the thought of gambling from my life. Long may that continue.

A few new diaries I see. Wishing everyone all the success in beating this.

Stay strong 💪 

Day 172.

Long day at work today so nice and easy from a not gambling perspective. Was good to be back and to see people. Was nice to have a conversation with someone! It’s a lonely life living alone with this addiction over your head. Not that it’s ever tempted me back, but just having that cloud over me, knowing I’m alone because of it. 

Another early start tomorrow for a full shift again, then back to days off. The joys of shift work. Good news is I managed to get a shift swap later so I can now head for a mates birthday drinks and dinner. Should be a good night, plus I don’t have to worry about money. Sure I could do without spending it, but it’s good to have something to look forward to and to not have to shy away from a night out as I can’t afford it.

Hope everyone is doing well. Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm That sounds like a lovely evening out Fish 🐟 and well deserved too!👏👏. Glad you managed to sort out a swap 👌.

Enjoy your week ahead and yes, like me, it’s nice going into work and being with others, especially when living alone - oh and it will save on all those increased energy rises come this October!😡😡.

Take care.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Hope you feeling a bit better pinky. Not the best start to your week!

Day 173.

Ridiculous day at work. Carnage everywhere, all at once. Really missed coming home to my ex and telling her about my day. Really miss her too. Felt kinda alone and lonely today. I know these days will come. Just made me think that I’ve thrown away something more than money. I’ve thrown away a life. Massive shame as I knew from day 1 that it was my fault. I also knew from day 1 I would never return to either gambling or her. Somethings you just know I I got the same vibe from both. Still, I’ve always said I can’t change the past, so time to suck it up and keep moving on. 

Was meant to be off tomorrow but picked up and extra shift. Some more money off the debt. Positives and all that 😂. Night shift too. Not even a fun shift. All about the money at the money. Gotta recoup some savings after a few big emergency expenditures. Will have a new team member soon too which will be exciting as I’ve just rewritten the whole training programme. Hopefully I’ll be lead trainer.

Hope everyone is well. Sleep time. Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm Well done on writing that training programme Fish 🐟👏👏👏👏. Good that you are able to earn some extra money too but don’t forget to rest up and reward yourself too, no matter how little that may be 👍.

Take care and so will I. 

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Hi fish,

I'm same as you picking extra shifts to keep afloat and plates spinning. 

I hear about your ex and you feeling lonely. You're right, these days will come. More reflection and possibly regrets but again, we cannot keep looking back. There is a saying "look back but do not stare". Guess it's very true as we have here and now to deal with and future to look forward to.

I also noted your GA meetings. Are you keeping them up? I found them eye opening when I used to attend. Pure pain and emotions expressed in those rooms, not forgetting the wisdom shared.

I'm rooting for you and your ongoing journey, I slipped, crashed and suffered the aftermath but now put blocks in place so feeling stronger in fighting this good fight.

Stay safe & strong ...keep going one day at a time