Day 352
Big spanner in the works. Not gambling related (although if I had been gambling, I would be in a terrible spot). I have to find a new home. Landlady has decided to sell up. I have a few months to find somewhere, but this still comes with huge stress. Finding somewhere to rent involves credit checks. Due to my DMP my score is still horribly low. I'm hoping if I stay with my current letting agency I can bypass this. I've been a model tenant, so hopefully that goes in my favour. Next issue is the money. Deposit and months rent in advance. A huge sum for properties where I live. Then moving costs. Removal company, new phone, utilities etc. I have money to cover this but was hoping to use it for a holiday. A treat for getting to 1 year GF. Looks like my treat now will be a huge bill, stress of finding somewhere, and them moving.
On the plus side, if I had been gambling, I would now be looking at having nowhere to live. I would be homeless and in a world of bother! Proof that quitting gambling is the right move. Being able to save and have a contingency fund for events like this is such a relief. Not the end of the world, but will certainly knock my plans back for a while. I could insist on my ex paying me the money she's owe me for the house, but I wouldn't do that as she has her own issues at the moment. Am I too kind? Well, no. I put her through the torture of my gambling, so I'll find a way to move on.
Anyway, apart from that, life is good. Still going well in my personal life. Still have a job. Still have money, although not for long! I cant really complain. Good to read others diaries and see some people still pushing on and reaping the rewards. Sad to see new stories too, but we all have to start this journey on day 1 so it's positive to see that journey begin.
Stay strong 👍
Hi fish. Sorry to hear about the accommodation situation. You are by far the only one in this situation. Housing is a mess in this country. I hope your Landlady gives you the time you need to sort this.
Almost 1 year!
Well done 👍🏼
Day363.
Neary there. 2 days until the year. 2 days until my pay check and bonus goes in. 1 year to the day when I stayed up most the night and ruined my life. To be honest, I think that night saved my life. I wouldn't have addressed the issue if it hadn't happened that way. I'd still be lying to myself and others. I'll save the speech for the year mark, although I probably wont make it on that day. Will be more like 1 year and 1 day!
Nearly booked a holiday last night. I'm in limbo at the moment as I need money for a deposit on a new place (not found one yet), so really need to make sure that's the priority. Also waiting on a pay-out from the MOD for my pension arrears. This should be in the next few weeks, but there has been zero information on this. Very annoying. This will clear my debts and give me a something left over. Basically it resets me to normal status! Luckily I've worked hard this last year to pay off my debts so far so will have some left over to save/treat myself a little.
@thebean - good to hear from you bud. I'm still following your diary. Keep up the good work mate.
See you all in 3 days for a celebration!!
Stay strong 👍
Sorry to hear about the living situation fish, that really sucks! It amazes me how time and time again life can bite us all in the a*s when you least expect it.
On the positive side, you have more than proven your worth and can do attitude in the situations you found yourself in this past year and you will smash this one too. Don't write off the holiday mate, I think you deserve it. Even if you don't necessarily book it just yet until the living situation is resolved more clearly but keep the holiday alive and get it booked when it's affordable to do so. I think once you pass a year gamble free it's easy to fall into a trap of 'another full year' for the next "milestone" and having a holiday to look forward too could keep you focussed on something exciting and positive!
Well done pal your doing amazing 👏
Well done on 1 year mate! wow what an achievement, proud of you especially with all the stress life has thrown at you throughout the past year. Defo worth a celebration that 🙂
Fish 🐟💙.
What can I say! You have done it!! A whole year g.f 👏👏👏👏👏💪👌. Huge congratulations to you. All your hard work, whilst at the same time, dealing with the good, the bad and the very ugly! This has meant you have been able to stick to your plans and goals, without being lured back to those very rich gambling establishments.
We have been on this journey together, through thick and thin, ups and downs, trials and tribulations but we are still surging ahead, making our days better and making them matter 💪👍.
You are to be commended for your sheer determination and grit. Also for all the support you have contributed to others - writing in their diaries and offering them advice and guidance💙. Not everyone on here does that and that’s ok. It’s their choice but I personally take so much comfort and positivity when others contribute to our diaries and even take the time to read them!
I have just started reading your diary from scratch again and I am going to make it my business to read through it all over the coming week just to see how far you have come 👏👏.
Once again, a massive well done and I sincerely hope you will reward/treat yourself with something nice, no matter how small it may be. Today you very much deserve this!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Your good friend.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Thanks all! Not had a chance to get on here lately to update.
1 year GF (well plus a few days now). So what's changed? Well this time last year I was looking for a new home. Turns out this time I am too! That's the only thing that's the same though. I am now a much better person. I'm truthful. I'm open. I can honestly say that its freeing to be open with people. My debt has reduced significantly. Its been a tough year financially, and I've put in so much overtime that it's painful to see my tax returns for the year!!, but it's helped me pay off more and more of my debt. I've discovered ways to enjoy spending time without using my phone. I enjoy reading, watching TV, working out, cooking, and of course spending time with my dog. I'm also very lucky to have found someone else who I can share my life with. It's still early days, and I am definitely taking things slowly, but it really feels like the hard work is paying off in other aspects of my life. Well apart from the fact I'll be homeless again soon 😭.
So what have I learned? I don't need to gamble. I'm better off without gambling, in everyway. It really is a nasty addiction and it has been a tough year. The temptation is always there, but I've been in control of my finances, I've done this. I could easily go to a casino, or a bookmakers. I could use my work phone to gamble, but I've managed a full year being in charge. I've often given advice in the chatrooms, or on peoples posts, and I stand by it. You can do this, and if you have someone to help you, all the better, but if not, take note. Day 1 is not the end of the world. It is the end of something, whether that's your relationship, home, friendships, but it is not the end. It's the start of a new life. A better life. One where you are in charge. Sure you'll have some setbacks. I've had a few, but I didn't let gambling sneak back in. I came on here and vented!
Did I treat myself after 1 year? Well yes. I booked a holiday. I worked out the money. Figured it would be tight, but I can manage tight. Been doing it for a year!
Fingers crossed my military pension gets sorted shortly. When it does, I'll be gamble free and have a nice sum left over to invest. 2025 is the year I leave this behind. GF, Debt free, new home, new relationship. I'll still be on here though. I still use this site daily.
Anyway, enough rambling. Thanks to all those who have helped me through this. So many good people on here who started their journey hating themselves, but now realise, they are not bad people. They are just addicts.
Stay strong legends! 👍
Well done Weirdfish, and bloody well done for booking that holiday! What a great treat to celebrate 12 months gamble free 👏 👏 You continue to be an inspiration mate 😊
Day 371 - No gambling thoughts or concerns
Got some good news today. My backdated military pension is due to be paid in the next few weeks (I'll believe it when I see it). If it does come through as expected, I'll be officially debt free next month. Will have to speak to Stepchange and pay a lump sum, but will be good to finally be debt free. Plus I'll have some left over to put into savings. Not paying 1k a month to Stepchange will make such a difference in my life. Imagine how much I can save now!!
Now I just need to find somewhere to live 🤣
Stay strong 👍
@p6z38njbqm Fabulous news Fish 🐟!👌🙏🙏.
You won’t know yourself, having a spare 1K to yourself each month! Got everything crossed for you. 🤞🤞🤞.
Here’s to you being debt free!🥂🍾🥂🍾.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Day 378
So, some interesting developments. I have a lump sum being paid in today that is my military pension underpayments. It's a considerable sum. It clears my debts, however, I need to find a new place to live and I've already been told I cant get one with my credit score. I now have to hope that offering a full years rent will get me a place. I found a place today. It's perfect and have put in an application offering to do just that. Hopefully its accepted. Not sure I'll be debt free then. Still waiting on further pension returns. If it is accepted, at least I'll be living rent free for the rest of the year! So many unanswered questions still. I may be debt free, I may have a place to stay, I may manage both. Who knows?!!! An interesting few days ahead. At least I have a decent lump sum as a fallback.
First thing I would have thought of previously when seeing a large sum of money would be to settle down and have a gamble session. Now, I just want to see how much interest I'll make on my account!
Anyway, that's the fish drama for another day.
Stay strong 👍
@p6z38njbqm Hi Fish 🐟. Really hoping that they will accept your 12 months worth of payments 🤞🙏. Why wouldn’t they?🤷🏻♀️. I have a bad relationship with credit scoring 🤬. I had an impeccable credit score from a young adult, right up to my very late forties. That stood for absolutely nothing after that, when I got into debt due to gambling. Even now, all these years later, my score is still not great and I can’t get bank loans, certain credit cards etc. The good thing is, it has improved and I have a couple of credit cards with a manageable credit limit so this suits me. However, I think there should be a tearing system whereby if you are doing well and continue to make payments for a year and more, this should benefit you. Instead of them thinking “oh you are with Stepchange and have debt”! If I didn’t own a property back then, I could have just gone bankrupt like many do and then just start afresh but no, I am paying every penny back!
Anyway, enough about me and credit scores 😡👊. I will say a prayer for you and hope they will accept your offer. Like you, I too look at my balance in my savings account and watch the interest being added each day!😝.
Take care Fish and have a lovely weekend.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Day 382:
This home hunt is getting me down. Turned down on another place. I currently have the money to pay off all my debts but can’t do it yet until I get a new home just incase I need to use it for a years rent. Even then I should have enough to maybe it off but I can’t take the risk. I need somewhere to live!! Viewing another place tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
Mad to have so much money in my account. 13 months ago, I’d be spending that as quickly as I could! Today I’m relishing waking up and seeing my the interest added! Such a good feeling. Will be better when I can plan moving forward. Also got accepted for a credit card so I can start to rebuild my score. That’s a bonus I suppose.
Thanks for the support as always. Will try update with some better news soon!
Stay strong 💪
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