Diary 2

You should change your name to Lucky Phil :(( Sorry to hear that mate , I havn't the teeth problems but can empathise with the hay fever and the failed op and I'm not gambling either , so much in common Phil :))

Thanks for the drop by and the kind words , glad to see your still gamble free and doing it your way ODAAT .

Stay safe Phil

Morning. I went into the city centre for a pint with my friend yesterday and I suddenly realised we were sat near a Paddy P. I felt the old fear momentarily but it passed. Someone said to me a while back to maybe carry photos and ID around with me for such situations. Good advice. Anyway here's to a great bet-free day, not dwelling on losses and taking it one day at a time.

Just to let you know that the Panorama programme is on bbc i player so you can still watch it, even if you missed it yesterday.

Good to see you doing so well

LB x

Thanks a lot LB. Phil

I watched that programme about FOBTs on catch-up. I found it very disturbing although I knew a fair bit about them. I'm just so glad I never got into them. I was bad enough on the horses.

I've realised recently that my confidence is low when I'm out of my comfort zone. eg not being in my local area - going to visit people elsewhere in the country. I feel I'm doing everything I was advised to do and some things my own way but it's not like you can self-exclude from every gambling establishment in the country? I don't FEEL like gambling but I feel terror when I think about the consequences of relapsing after being eight months bet-free. There wasn't much of a buzz and never was for me but I'm sure my brain chemistry did change like the programme the other day showed. I'm not feeling too great today but here's to staying bet-free - one day at a time. BW Phil

I've been thinking a lot about recovery (one day at a time as usual) and see two sides to the coin:

A) Owning up to friends, family etc about the the state you may have got into, the s-hit you may have got into financially, the lies you may have told, the money you might have stolen, the anxiety the addiction causes, the shame, the robotic like trips to the cash machine (surprise, normally near a bank, self-revulsion and self-disgust as an addictive CG).

B) Stop lying to others and one's self. SLowly regaining self-respect and the trust and respect of others (although I find the latter understandably more difficult.) Realising (in my case that I made no friends and had no fun in whatever shop I was using. Thinking differently and not just about the 2.50 race wherever. Recovery can be a bitter pill to swallow but not all aspects have to be doom and gloom in my opinion.

Morning. I just wanted to share something I realised recently. Friends who don't or don't gamble compulsively don't "get it". What I mean by this is that one month, three months, six months whatever are just dates. They (understandably) think it is just about the cash you've lost. It's not. It's a journey. A change of life/thinking/behaving JUST in my view. They think if you haven't gambled for a few months you've "cracked it". I know I haven't which is why I always say - as do others - one day at a time. Hit the pillow without a bet and maybe a tiny change in the way you think is a good day. Just some thoughts. Stay safe friends.

Hi friends. I haven't posted for a while mostly because they f@@ked up the operation on my hand and I will have to have another operation next month.I wanted to share an experience I had which reminded me about humility. I went for a pint the other day and this old guy I know a bit was obsessively looking at the racing pages. As I walked by and for a few minutes afterwards I felt contempt for this guy and was having self-righteous thoughts. Then I realised no, no, no - it was only in January that I "got the message" and stopped. For a while - but like many people and I can understand this, all I thought about was the money I had lost. It took time for me to realise there was a lot more to it than just cash. My message is this: we have to - always just in my view - take it one day at a time, listen and learn every day and remember anyone can slip. I always have a lot of respect for CGs who come on the site and admit they gambled again after 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years etc. So stay safe, do what is right for YOU and remember one day at a time (I know I am a repetitive pain) is a good philosophy. If we say "I'm not going to gamble for the rest of my life" that is putting a lost of pressure on yourself (in my view). 24 hours? Much more manageable. Just some thoughts. All the best, Phil

PS I have another 9 months through Step Change to clear my debts. This month's payday treat? A Beatles badge (love 'em). 99p!

I discovered the problem despite my computer illiteracy. Here's to a bet-free day and as always for me it is one day at a time.

Or so I thought...anyway did anyone read the article in The Times about FOBTs?

Hi guys. I've had murder with my hand so haven't posted much lately. I jut wanted to say things are going well other than some health issues. Relationships are improving, trust returning etc so things are pretty good....one day at a time. Same Phil. Same philosophy. BW.

Hi everyone.Just to say hello, I'm stil here but feeling a bit quiet and gamble free one day at a time. Best wishes to you all.

Hi Phil , nice to see your day's racking up , keep moving forward as usual One day at a time :))

Best wishes Alan