Documenting my journey

Hi SF

Long may it continue, keep that determination going. Wake up every day and give real focus on not gambling for that one day. Payday for me today too. I've had a great day I hope you have too.

46 and out

Hi 46 and out,
Thanks for the msg. I didn't gamble Yay!. I had an amazing day and am still going strong. I feel like I can do it this time.

All the best

Hi Slot Fool

Well done and keep it up. One day at a time, you can't go any faster.

Muststop123

Thanks Muststop123

So...it happened!! I failed, I gambled 🙁 I felt so bad doing it that I actually got up and left with money in my hand having gambled and lost £20. I never want to sit in front of a machine and feed it my money ever again.
It feels horrible being back at day zero.

Right, positive is you managed to stop and walk away before you lost all your cash. Not sure I could do that if I started again. Danger is you might not be as self controlled next time.

Can you put any blocks in place to prevent you from getting caught out by the urge to gamble, just something to make it really difficult and inconvience and perhaps give you time to rethink the idea?

Hi Muststop123
Thanks for the msg, I am still upset about gambling again. I know why I did it and I shouldn't of. I only gamble in one place and I need to make sure I never go there again. If I go to work without my car I cannot get there. So for now I will walk to work.

My 1st target is to get to 30 days, 27 was a good attempt but not good enough

I will never gamble again, I am so lucky I managed to stop. I would normally of lost hundreds. I'll never risk it again.
It felt horrible. I didn't enjoy it. I'm done with it now.

Day 2
Woke up feeling better today. Not beating myself up anymore over what I did. I'm going to focus on making sure I don't do it again.

Today I will not gamble

Have a good day everyone

Had a good day today. Just been for a nice long walk for 1hr, head is feeling much clearer now. I will beat this.

I've noticed I get anxious now I've stopped gambling, not sure if this is normal and don't quite no what to do about it? Maybe I need to start looking at the reasons why I gambled in the first place?

Perhaps contact Gamcare and ask for free 1 2 1 counselling sessions. When i had mine it took me places in my mind i didnt want to go but really looked into my reasons why.

Take every opportunity available. Self exclusion, GA, Counselling, restriction of finances. Whatever it takes.

Best wishes

Today has been so hard. I gambled last night. I got half way through today and thought right I've had enough.
I did something I have all ways said I'd never do...i told my husband.
He is fuming!! He doesn't understand why I did it. He didn't have a clue I was a gambler.
He knew I went to bingo but assumed I just played bingo and had a go on the slots every now and then. I cannot believe I found the strength to tell him.
I gave him all my cards and money. He then took me to the club to self exclude.
I cannot discribe the relief I feel. A weight has genuinely been lifted. I'm not sure about the effect this has had on us yet, he is still in shock I think. But as bad, ashamed and regretful I feel about the money I spent, doesn't come close to how the fact that I have finally admitted I need help males me feel. I have hope. I can beat this. I'll be debt free in 6/7 months and I really hope my marriage will survive.

Hi Slot Fool. I how you feel i too relapsed this month with the straw the broke the camels back being last night. You did the right thing telling your husband. If nothing else hopefully the shame/fear of having to tell him of another relapse will stop you before you do it again. I can't give you any advice really as im struggling badly myself just now just know your not alone.

Take Care...

Davey

Thanks for your message Davey, sorry to hear that your not doing so well. I hope you get back on top of things soon. Here's to another gamble free day tomorrow.
All the best.