But the reality I guess will be tough.
Day 2. Feeling somewhat hopeful. I said I'm going to stop and I am .
I've said it before so what's going to be different this time?
Well maybe I really mean it this time and I didnt before. Somehow I knew I wouldn't stop until I had nothing left. And here I am with nothing left. But it's just money and currently my family and my relationships are in tact. I want it to stay that way. It hasnt affected anybody but myself so far but it will if I continue gambling because I would need bailing out.
Yesterday I joined up after having just lost my wages and my overdraft to my online slot addiction.
I've already lost every penny of savings, my pension which was fortunately quite small and my emergency funds. That's it. All I've got now is my weekly wage.
Yesterday was a bad day. I didnt sleep all night or much of the day and now I'm working waking night shifts. If i fall asleep at work its gross misconduct and instant dismissal.
So yesterday i put blocks on my casino accounts. Some of them are repeatedly just putting me on a 30 day break rather than shutting down my accounts permanently. So i will need to set reminders every 30 days to request closure.
I joined Gamcare, submitted my first post and read quite a lot of other people's posts.
Also i used the vault app to take stock of my financial situation. April looks messy, very much in the red but from May onwards starts to get better and buy December i will have £1000 savings. I made some money saving changes, change of internet provider will save me £120 over the year, cut back my grocery budget planning to cook meals in batches and freeze which works out cheaper, and try to cut out if not cut down my alcohol intake. I probably drink 2/3 bottles over a week so even if I just cut out one bottle a week that will save about £250 over the year. I've cancelled a couple of unnecessary subscriptions saving a further £150 a year. So as long as I dont gamble I can actually start to claw my way out of this mess I've made.
I'm happy with that for one days progress.
Day 2; today, I've taken on 2 extra shifts this week to earn some extra cash. I have not gambled. I cant anyway. But when I get a desperate urge I seek out new casinos to join. I am already signed up for Gamstop but can still join international sites. This weeks wages are now sat in the bank. But am feeling strong at the moment. I really desperately want to beat this thing.
Hi @constance
Sounds like you're taking some really positive steps, coming to the forum, signing up to Gamstop and making changes to your budget. You are doing really well. You are not alone. You will get lots of advice and support on here.
Is there a way that your bank could block any payments to these international casinos? A lot of banks are becoming more gamble aware and many will now block gambling transactions if you ask them. Might be worth a try to give you an extra safety net
Keep posting. It is possible to beat this addiction and live a happier life.
Wishing you all the best.
J
I hate hate hate gambling but as soon as I get access to money it all goes on gambling! ?♂️?♂️ It’s been like this for about 10 years. When I have zero money I actually feel relief and gambling don’t really cross my mind….but as soon as I have money it’s all gambled until lost. This morning I had £1200 and I didn’t need more money, now I have £30 having lost the lot on slots and football betting. Surely it should be the opposite way around. Here’s hoping we can all start to kick this filthy destructive habit. Tomorrow will now be day one x
Thanks for this. I will ring and ask my bank if they can at least block international payments.
Constance
Thanks Marco
It will take me til the end of the month til get back to where I was before my last stupid gambling frenzy. But I'm feeling positive about it. I wish you well.
Constance
Oh bless you. It's awful isnt it. I keep thinking I could have given that money i lost to my daughters or donated it to charity. Anything but losing it to gambling.
I want to find some sort of savings thing where I could transfer surplus cash to keep it safe, one that you have to give notice to withdraw. For the moment though I only just have enough money to scrape by and pay pressing bills with. And i have so many blocks in place and closed accounts it wouldn't be easy for me to gamble again.
All the best constance
So tonight I'm working an extra shift. Long shifts 13 hours waking nights. One hour travel each way, only just enough time to eat shower sleep repeat. Feels therapeutic though. Had very minor urge to gamble this morning after my shift but this was more about what to do instead. So I just played a little puzzle game on my phone, felt sleepy, fell asleep. Job done.
Still feeling strong. Staying focused. I am NEVER putting myself through this again.
It's so so good to be in touch with you people who are going through very similar situations and understand.
Constance
It sounds easy to abstain but it’s incredibly hard. All gamblers I know (myself included) have mental health issues and dark dark anxiety, stress and depression! I’ve put many many blocks in place but every time I gamble it all away then the cycle continues. If they go rid of all gambling I’d not miss it in the slightest but because it’s there it continues to destroy my mind body and soul
Wow. Sounds like you dont think it's possible to stop gambling.
Not possible for you? Me? Or both of us?
You feeling down?
Want to talk back and forth see if it helps?
I know I was feeling in despair just a couple of days ago.
I've stopped for some quite long periods and then started again. I think each time I've restarted it's because I forgot the pain and despair it caused and only remembered the thrill and also eah time stupidly thought I'd be more in control.
Constance
@constance I’m sure many have stopped but not 1st time. I have no money to gamble with this month but as soon as payday I’ll be at it again. I’d love to quit and today I say I’ll never gamble again but I just know come payday although I DONT WANT TO GAMBLE - I will
What about excluding yourself from the online casinos, or registering with Gamstop. I know I've done all these and still keep finding sites I can join, but my options are very small now. It would take me a couple of hours searching to find a new site I havent already signed up for and then excluded myself from. Plus I dont now have a debit or credit card. Very few international sites accept either paypal or bank transfer so pretty I cant gamble.
I really hate the feelings of panic and anxiety that come with gambling. I dont want to go through that again.
Do you?
Yes, I have no credit or debit cards and I’ve self excluded (via Moses) from all gambling companies in my town. I just walk in though and gamble. NO ONE ever asks for my ID or to remove my mask etc. next thing I know I’m in the whirlpool of no return. I can win £1000 but it’ll all just go to more gambling! I genuinely think that since the slots changed to £2 maximum spins it’s worse than ever! I Lose money quicker and those fortune spins are ridiculous. You can spend hundreds before you even get in the main game then the “bonus” pays about £8. £60 is thought of as a “BIG WIN” and the machine goes crazy!
I just googled Moses. So you can just walk in with cash? To casinos I mean?
All my gambling I do online usually on my phone occasionally on my tablet.
My vices are the type of slots that have bonus free spins. Honestly I act like a totally different person when I'm playing. I dont recognise myself or my actions. I even question myself but wont listen to the logic. It's like being drunk and caring about the consequences. I will literally continue until I have not a penny left.
What would need to happen to make you stop?
Do you really really really want to stop?
Yes, I do want to really stop. I’m currently on daily medication for extreme stress, anxiety and depression. I’m self excluded from every bookmaker in my locality.
I have no friends or hobbies. Just gambling and binge eating. Both leave me worse each time I succumb to their urges.
PS: Here’s Moses in the U.K.
Thanks for the link. I just looked. Theres Gamban on there which I tried a couple of yours ago but I just uninstalled the app and could gamble again so it was as useful as a chocolate poker. But I'm going to try it again. They might have advanced it.
As of now I've never been in a betting shop or real casino and I dont think I would. I dont like the real slot machines cus I dont understand what to do.
Sorry about the no friends/hobbies.
Do you have family? A job?
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
