enough is enough got to think about my kids

G2BS,

Welcome to the forum. I read your first post with interest because it is how I felt for a long, long time and not just with gambling. Full of hope and desire yet once the first thought of gambling entered my head I would be in the bookies. I have never really been able to say no to myself. I used to quit smoking everyday only to be buying more cigs the next day.

I am now just short of forty days gamble free and a day shy of four weeks smoke free and basically both had beaten me up. I have not had to fight urges because they weren't there this time. This has happened once before and I abstained for ten months only to relapse in a crazy moment. I think I just finally admitted defeat to both. I wanted to stop gambling so badly but believed in the back of my mind that I could still have a chance of turning it all around. Now I don't think that anymore. I have finally accepted that I cannot beat gambling and that it will not be easier to quit smoking tomorrow.

I wish I could have made a better job of explaining the above but to summarise only when I accepted that there was no way back for me did I accept that I can only make my life better by accepting my losses and starting from scratch at this point.

Forty days on and the debt is still there but I don't worry about it the same. I don't sit with the calculator out at night. I don't lie awake at night with worry. Life is good because mentally my head is clear and in a good place. The rest will take care of itself.

I hope you can get yourself to this position.

Tomso.

Thank you tomso I'm going to stay close to my diary it is helping and if abstain I know I will relapse. Well done on ur progress I do hope I can get there too. I have literally been getting the calculator doing exactly the same amounts figuring out what money I will have to pay out and get by etc. (never changes) hoping to be wrong with my calculations.

If I don't gamble I won't have to worry about how I'm going to pay my bills rent etc.

I like the way u think I also try to give up cigs that's another challenge "it will not be easier to quit tomorrow" that's so true.

The best things in life are free is soo true took my son to the park after school had a great time all the time I spent gambling wasting my money and time not anymore family first. Time to move on early early days but im going to keep on going gamble free.

Got2bstrong

Just checking in really don't know what to write really but feeling ok just got to stay on my guard.

Got2bstrong

Hiya got how are you? Are you still gamble free? Hope your having a good weekend and still keeping faith!! X

Hi silverlining, I'm ok Feeling better yes still gamble free haven't even done lotto, how r u doing how r things for you.x

That's fab well done!! How many days is that? I'm doing good thanks! I'm on day 32 and it feels good! Still feeling rubbish about having no money but just keep saying to myself it would be 1000 times worse of I was gambling! So glad your doing so well!!

Keep it up :o) x

Well done to u too, this is only day 7 and I'm glad i came on here again because I have an urge and this evening my boyfriend won't be here but I'm going to stay strong because as soon as u start I won't stop, I'm already in debt I don't want to do this anymore.

The way I see it is I can either go online and lose my money and stay up late or just watch Tele when kids in bed and get an early nite well thinking about and I'm going to be strong.

Thanks silverlining for seeing how I'm doing. Hope ur ok and keep going x

I didn't gamble last nite I'm so glad because I know I would have felt so bad and low this morning, really got to keep on going its still early days i don't want to give in.

G2bs x

Well been a tough two days car broke completely luckily boyfriend is going to sort it out and got a late pay fee for going overdrawn with ny car insurance. I have paid my rent so that's one good thing. Usually would have gambled a few hundred and would have had to find the money for rent but paid it straight away before anything.

Its going to be a struggle for the next few months but if I can do it I can get my self debt free by the end of the year.

Got2bstrong

Well another day done today was hard had urges to play and opportunities but I did not do it I do feel weak and that I could give in easily but surprised myself and somehow stayed strong. Irreally want to succeed but it is hard.

Had massive urges last Nite went on to gambling websites but didn't gamble think was just a slip up but didn't actually gamble but had intentions still gamble free but am surprised how strong the urge was. Well in the end I jus went to sleep. Well jus got to b stronger now.

I am feeling better and positive today in quitting smoking so starting to change things in my life now. Its now or never.

G2bs

2weeks so far havent had any urges for a few days but I know there lurking around ready to come out anytime soon. G2bs

Just checking myself in really nothing new to write haven't gambled haven't had any urges either have been keeping busy.g2bs