enough is enough got to think about my kids

I'm so ashamed of myself I'm pathetic and a loser. Just gambled all my money away again feel so ashamed I couldnt stop myself jus self excluded again. I hate myself

Hope that was last slip up ever when will I realise I can never win. Is there a way I Can block my card from being used online but still allow direct debit, anyone know?

After years I finally admitted to my mum my problem it was hard it was shameful but it was the best thing I ever done. I know I can't beat it alone anymore I sorted every single debt I had yesterday using my savings. I know I am lucky because I had those savings but just telling her is more important. I'm going to let her control my finances from now on because I know I can't do it alone the debt has gone which is a huge weight of ny shoulders but the gambling addiction is still there I have a chance to start over and change things. Now is the time.

Such a relief to tell someone.

I never thought I would be sitting here without having that constant weight over my shoulders, it has truly been lifted. To do the simple things such as go shopping to taking my children out buying them nice things is a wonderful feeling.

Feeling better about life now

In such a better place now one week on no gambling sorting my life out and enjoying life with my kids.

Hi Got2b

Well done on week 1! Its lovely to be with kids and spend time with them without that guilt of gambling!

Linda

I was literally a second away from gambling I signed up registered and was about to put my password into gamble and then thought its never going to end if I do it so just self excluded. Shortest membership they've probably ever had. That's scary I don't even no why. I just got myself sorted and so I thought I can't put myself through that again. The urges are still there had a stressful day with the little one but now I won't have the regret over my head tomorrow.

I'm going to read my book and go to sleep better than gambling and wasting my money and time x

Thanks Linda I'm forever trying I hope you are well. Its lovely to do things with them even signed em up for swimming lessons and am planning on more things to do to keep them happy and keep me busy too lol x

Hi GTB

I must admit I have been where you were today with that inner battle with the gambling demon. Each time I have that battle now it is getting easier and dont underestimate how much courage it takes to do what you did today. Today you won. Do something nice tomorrow and reward yourself, even if its tiny. I know this sounds stupid but when I stopped gambling 80 days ago I kept my daughters hairband around my wrist and each time I got an urge the first week or so I pulled on that band and the little sharp pain I got reminded me of why I stopped in the first place and always got me through. That band broke in week 2 lol but I have it in a little box upstairs and each time I now beat an urge I buy something small like a hair band or a clip or a badge and they go into my box. It sounds silly but when I feel low about something now or when I feel a little insecure I take out that box and it reminds me of how strong I am and how far I have come. No doubt I will keep adding to it as life goes on (and I must admit I use them when needed lol) but its those small tiny things that will keep me going.

Have a great weekend

Linda

That's a good idea Linda whatever works and whatever it takes. Probably go to the park as its not raining but will see lol. How much time we've wasted and stress spent on something like gambling when the best things in life is staring me in the face. Well I'm abit of a book geek so when I feel the urge may just get my book out and it takes my mind of it.

Thanks Linda have a great weekend too.

D

Its been a few weeks since I last logged in and I'm still gamble free my life has turned around I don't really get the urge anymore but I'm sure there lurking there in my mind somewhere. I never thought I would be in the place I am now. Free from gambling. I am more happier I get things done around the house go shopping and able to spend my money and time on things I want. So many years was stuck in the vicious cycle of get paid gamble waste it win it lose it feel depressed take out a loan lie budget money gamble worry worry gamble worry.

Never again will I let my life spiral out of control like that my advice to anyone reading this is to tell someone that can help.

I'm sure if I didn't I would still be gambling and Feeling miserable.