IAm feeling so much positivity around me today.,have family meal to look forward to at restaurant laters. No urges to play, let’s hope stays that way. Am trying to find things to do so I don’t have time for the brain to register something is afoot lol. Tonight will be harder once I am home alone but steps in place.
Home now after enjoying a lovely meal with family. parents insisted on paying for 12 of us yet they aren’t by any means wealthy, pensioners who saved up. Sat here feeling guilty which isn’t good as for some stupid reason made me have urges to gamble. Weird thing is I wanted to spend a tenner without even wanting or expecting to win. Talked myself out of my stupidity and settling down with a good Thriller on telly but annoyed I got the urge
Home now after enjoying a lovely meal with family. parents insisted on paying for 12 of us yet they aren’t by any means wealthy, pensioners who saved up. Sat here feeling guilty which isn’t good as for some stupid reason made me have urges to gamble. Weird thing is I wanted to spend a tenner without even wanting or expecting to win. Talked myself out of my stupidity and settling down with a good Thriller on telly but annoyed I got the urge
Just checking in. Early hours but coping. No gambling though wanted to but keep looking at bank account to sober me up! Think it will be roller coaster of emotions but try an stay strong as know life will be better an more stable if don’t gamble
Another day gf. Going to town just to post things I sold on e bay. A lot of effort for £20 but all helps and before that £20 would be gone within 5 mins so trying to appreciate the value of money. Daft as could spend hundreds (overdraft) then feel sick after but wanting to still play. Many many times I would withdraw only to spend it again as it was like a bar of chocolate, waiting for me to consume. So never gained financially and this is why I know it was an addiction as couldn’t control. Must move forward in my way of thinking which is the hard part
Another day gf. Going to town just to post things I sold on e bay. A lot of effort for £20 but all helps and before that £20 would be gone within 5 mins so trying to appreciate the value of money. Daft as could spend hundreds (overdraft) then feel sick after but wanting to still play. Many many times I would withdraw only to spend it again as it was like a bar of chocolate, waiting for me to consume. So never gained financially and this is why I know it was an addiction as couldn’t control. Must move forward in my way of thinking which is the hard part
Still staying away from gambling. Has been hard and feel quite drained. Want to gamble but keep pushing away the urges.
Just joined my local health club. Not into gym side but swimming and hot tub so paying £29 per month for off peak. Couldn’t have afforded to go before as always spent on line. Hopefully will help with inner turmoil an also get fitter.
Not a good few days. Found a site an played demo mode but then couldn’t help joining up. Spent £40. Know that doesn’t seem a lot but felt so stupid an weak. Excluded from the site an any sister sites but hate myself all the same. Today’s a new day so starting again an try to be stronger especially as been going to leisure club an swimming every day an felt so good about myself. Suppose I got over confident
Morning Minnie, I've relapsed too and we both feel deflated and silly but we'll keep picking ourselves up ready to go again. Well done on excluding yourself from that site and no you are not weak, you are very brave and stronger than you think.
Wilsy
Thank you for your kind comments. Still want to gamble but won’t today. Did myself no favours the other day as once you gamble again makes it harder as still in my brain. Here’s to a gf day and week
Hi Minnie, I too gambled tonight and am starting my recovery from here.
Wishing you well on your journey. Let’s hope that you, Wilsy and myself can match each other day for day and build up some valuable gamble free days.
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