Good evening all
I had something bad happen to me last month and it made me loose all focus on my recovery.
28th march, was feeling really run down. You know how it goes.....one spin to paper the cracks. Although I have no idea how because installed bet blocker on my phone. It was suppose to be set up for 5 years. It must have glitches out because it allowed me to go onto deposit and loose.
Not much luckily, although not the point. I'm so angry at myself I knew it would happen. I knew I'd loose the amount I put in.
I have written this post because I needed to remind myself not to become complacent in my recovery. I also vow NEVER to see that look of dissapointment and hurt in my husband's eyes ever again. I owe it to my family to stay strong.
Thing is, I realise now that before gambling I had money. Gambling had altered my perception and made me think I was broke when in fact I wasn't. My wins were me getting back money I'd lost in the first place. Casinos are a business, designed to take money not give it. It truly is a mugs game.
Well sorry for rambling on. I just needed to vent amongst people who know what it's like.
Spend xxxx
Hey Spendlikewater
I've since reaped from gambling and am. Now back on the road to recovery. What you describe is my same situation, I hate the hurt of my wife when I admit to her I relapsed. Honestly, this is the first weekend in months I've been able to give her my full attention without gambling as a factor and it's been great. Forget the financial side of it, the time you have with your close one's are priceless. Debts will be gone over the years but the most important things through them years is keeping those close ones together. You'll smash this and keep on track, keep checking in to support your progress and as always, coming here is being very brave. So we'll done on the first step of your recovery xx
I fell off too and I actually won £xx in 4 days and I'd never felt so happy but as an addict this wasn't enough and being on this lockdown there was nothing to spend my money on so I lost everything in the space of about 7 days and then that just caused me to take out loans to try to win that money back. I now have £3000 of debt. Back in December last year my friend helped me out of a really tough situation and I was so grateful and I've just undone everything he did for me. Last year I lost my partner of 5 years lost my life that I'd built with her and her daughter and I'll never get that back, that part of my life is over and that was all down to gambling and everytime I start to sort myself out I fall off again. We all need to talk and I'm here if anyone needs to chat I know I do sometimes when I get down and if I could help just 1 person at least 1 good thing could come out of all this
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