A bit of a brief background is that I have gambled since I was about 18 and it got progressively worse. I’m going on 29 now. I ended up being in about 20K of debt and had to enter in to a trust deed in 2018. I thought entering the trait Dee would be enough to stop gambling and it was for a while but I started up again and for the first time since being a gambler I was unable to pay my monthly essential bills and ended up in breakdown/lowest of the low mode. This is the point I got in touch with RAC gambling trust and the man suggested Gamban to me which is installed on my devices and means it blocks anything at all to remotely do with gambling. I didn’t get that at that point because I didn’t feel I needed to (in hindsight I wish I had). Then I had a slip October 2019 and following this bad slip I finally downloaded gamban and it is a god send.
Even on the nights where I sit and think of gambling (tonight being one) it is virtually impossible for me to access websites. This is of course good for me because my gambling was always online, never in bookies/casinos etc ..
I downloaded it on December 4th and haven’t gambled a single day since then. I also did something I never thought I would and that was tell my husband, it ended up being a huge weight off my shoulders. I finally came to the decision that I physically can not stop myself from gambling and gamban has done that for me. I finally feel that I am truly gamble free because I realised I need to be physically stopped when the urges come in. Gamban does that.
Welcome to the diaries Kf91 and congratulations on your progress. Over 4 months since you gambled which must have taken a lot of courage, determination and a lot of common sense.
Having Gamban installed on your devices also seems to have empowered you which is wonderful.
My problem was the betting shops so I feel safe and confident whilst they are closed plus I have registered with Gamstop and have a gambling freeze on my bank account.
I see you were born in 1991 and ironically the first number one of that year was Iron Maiden with "Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter."? Scary coincidence! It could have been written by the gambling companies!
However, later in that year Bryan Adams topped the charts for many weeks with "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You," which better reflects your positive attitude and the respect, kindness and compassion that you are now showing yourself.
I hope you continue to write in your diary and wish you every success as you continue on your life changing adventure.
Some people enjoy a visit to the chatroom for some pleasant interaction with their fellow travellers, so maybe see you in there one day.
Beast wishes
Stephen x
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