Festina Lente

Afternnoon,

I have read on here at some point that it would be impossible to cure our selves of our addiction. So a good recovery is maybe about living along side it.

To live the next 5 , 10 , 20 years, being frightened to leave the house with money , or our bank card , or avoiding parking outside a bookies seems like a hell of a way to live. I suppose that at some time and only individual will know when some of the barriers might need to come down Not as a test , just to move us forward to be able to function. There of course things I personally would never do. One of those is go into a gambling establishment or race course ever again in my life. But then why would I ever need to.

When I was in recovery for 5 years, I let my addiction still dictate do much of life, it was not a good recovery and I was not a happy person, always worried that I would mess up which in the end I did.

This time it's different, cause now I choose not to gamble instead of telling myself I can't.

Well done for passing the test today, I hope within time it will feel less of a test and in the end the thought of a bookies being there will not even register on your radar.

Every day you grow in strength, day 50 tomorrow time to look back , see how far you have come , then look forward to a brighter future.

Dusty xxxxxx

Hi Steve, thank u 4 ur support on my diary. It means alot 🙂

Well done on the 59 days gamble free, u r doing gr8!

Well done 4 using ur willpower 2day and resisting those urges, that takes true strength 🙂

U r doing brilliant Steve!

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Morning Steve,

Just a wee line to congratulate you on your "diamond" day !! An absolutely fantasic achievement my friend, your journey is one that you should be so proud of.

Well done on not going into bookies, thats just another reminder of how far you've come, and how much your outlook has changed on this journey, way to go bro !!

Have a good gamble free day - as I know u will

Cameron

Thanks all for your advice and support. Yesterday I had a wobble, they're not very nice but I handled it and resisted temptation. It was like parking outside a cake shop when you haven't eaten for weeks, that's how it felt. Yet there is no nourishment in gambling only time wasted and misery, your only feeding the addiction. Should have went in B&Q instead but I probably would have felt worse, the place reminds me of all the jobs I've got to do around the house, some people love DIY, whereas me, it gives me panic attacks! Masking tape, sugar soap, all those coloured paint to chose from, millions of screws, enough to blow my mind. Do like the plant section though.

60 days today, that's 1/5 of a year. Not without a wobble or a bit of determined effort. So happy I'm here now and not where I was mentally back then, money is money, what gambling did to me mentally was far worse. Up and down, manic and static, I much prefer the 'middle calm way.' if I want excitement then I'll climb a tree or something, if I want happiness I'll earn it, contentment comes from within and this ill relearn.

Anyway onwards and upwards, stay strong andante, many thanks. A very humble, Steve

Hello steve

Well done on 60 days, its an amazing effort, 2 whole months, almost 9 weeks, a huge number of hours, dont knock what you have done or lose sight on how hard it has been, but taking all that into consideration, for us that have got this far (or you), it all comes to nothing if we were to lose sight and head back in the other direction!

So well done for getting through yesterday, but let it reinforce the fact that at least for today, you have a battle to win, and you have what it takes to win that battle, keep on keeping on, we are all in this together,

John

Ps Just in case I wasnt clear,, dont even think about turning on the pilot light, snuff it out completely NOW!!!

You can take all the credit for all the insights you read on my diary and I am sure that you have been a guardian angel for many others, so the journey begins, day 1 or day 61,, nothing changes the plan stays the same, ODAAT.

Hi Steve, thank u 4 ur kind words on my diary 🙂

Well done on the 60 days gamble free, u r doing brilliant 🙂

U did so well 2 resist the temptation yesterday Steve, u should be soooo proud of urself.

I am not sure how exciting climbing a tree would be tho lol.... ur posts make me smile, thanks 🙂

U give me hope!

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Hi Steve

Wobbles are good like u I av just had one whilst having it it's not good but once out of the other side it makes us that little bit stronger

Ur still goin strong and that light is shining brighter those dark days on end av truly gone now yes the off day may come when it doesn't shine as much but that's life and now we're living it

Take care

Castle2

Hello Steve

Just checking that things are okay with you?

Looking forward to hearing from you soon,

John

Hi Steve

Well done on resisting those b****rd urges..

Not long now till 9 and a half weeks - keep going mate, you're doing great!

Enjoy what's left of this holiday weekend!

LMM

Day 62, still going strong whatever life throws at me I'll not look for comfort in a bet because there is none. Never posted yesterday, I was too physically and mentally exhausted, not a bad thing. Been getting up early to go to boot sales then staying out till three at night fishing, bound to take its toll. So yesterday I just caught up with a few dreams and recharged the old batteries. Got my daughter for the rest of the week so a more normal routine beckons, thankfully. Taking her to a climbing wall today, she hates heights and things like that, and with my tennis elbow and dodgy legs it'll be like 'dumber and dumber' getting up there. We'll probably just settle for ice creams from afar.

I'm pretty boring, not on the same scale as Ken Barlow (don't sue) but boring nonetheless. Yet I don't care, I like or I'm beginning to like who I am. It's not what you do but how you do it. I don't need much or do much to be happy now, maybe that's called middle aged or finding peace I don't know but it's a good feeling not mentally beating yourself up over and over again. My life's not perfect but then again who's is but I'm beginning to understand what is important and what isn't. I'll never be rich, have Bentleys in the driveway but I don't really care. Life's not what you have but what you appreciate and I have enough moments of appreciation now to keep me content. Never had that when I gambled, nothing was ever enough, manic.

Nearly at 9 1/2 weeks so that'll be another target met. Trying to squeeze into my tight leather trousers but I reckon I've put on a few pounds since the 80's. Going to make an effort by getting my ear hair trimmed and buying a new bottle of 'hi karate.' going all out here, nothing but the best, painted my teeth white, to look all 'Hollywood' but all I could use was gloss and it's taking ages to dry. Walking round with an insane open mouthed grimace to let them dry, looks like I'm coming home from a two day rave. Hope Kim appreciates all this effort.

Take care all, keep strong, Steve.

Oh Steve

You have made me laugh so hard just the image I have in my mind lol

Thank you , what a start to the morning

I wanted to say big well done for continuing to remain bet free , your right life is less manic , no riches but actually just ok !

Hope your daughter tackles her fears while you sit and eat Ice creams lol

Keep strong and keep posting cause you make me chuckle

Btw I heard Kim was acting in the fridge scene lol shes always trying to trick us !

Smiling Lucy

Good morning Steve...

great to see you remain bet free.... I m following your path and soon hope to celebrate my first 50.... what i m afraid that after you met Kim you might be too distracted to set a new target 🙂 but whatever happens, keep it going as strong as so far you doing. Surely Kim will be impressed with your glossy smile 🙂 take care

K.

Hi Steve

Well done, and keep marching on, one step at a time,

John

Hope you and your daughter enjoyed the climbing and that the harness is not too stressed out from the experience!

Keep going with your gamble-free run, it seems that you really are reaping the rewards right now.

Onwards and upwards!

NT