I'm back again, I simply need to make it work now as gambling is making life so difficult for me. I had a bet yesterday and I need to make it the last. I feel as today is November the 5th what better day to try again. The focus has to be one day at a time, but if I can last till next fireworks night then I will be lighting a huge celebratory firework display in the garden.
I'm 43 year old dad who has been gambling hard since the age of 16. I've been trying hard for well over ten years now to beat this. I've tried GA, counselling, self exclusion, letting others control my finances etc and despite all this I always find a way to gamble in the end. I have had a few runs of 100-200 days gamble free in the last few years but I always seem to slip back into gambling.
In my times without gambling life is so much less stressful, I have money, I sleep better, I have less stress and life is so much more pleasurable. So why on Earth do I keep going back to it?
One thing that is better for me is the many blocks I have do work better than they used to. I'm on Gamstop so I can't gamble online. I'm also on MOSES and self excluded from multiple bookies. Recently I have tried to gamble in two shops not so local to home and both have refused me a bet despite me not actually being banned from their shops which is great for me.
There are two shops I sometimes use, both aren't close to home so I need to add them to MOSES which I will do tomorrow morning. There is another way I have been gambling which I won't go into detail on which has been a blight to me since signing up to Gamstop but I am mostly self excluded now from that area and just hope no new companies open up as thats been an area to suck me back in previously.
Horses, dogs and football are my areas of gambling. Payday is on the 15th and I need to be strong when I get paid. I have lots of debts but they are manageable if I stay clear from betting. I will have to pay out a lot from my wages on payday so in the past I would think stupidly that gambling to clear the debts was a good idea. Clearly it isn't and I always lose out in the end.
For many years of my life every payday I would blow every penny in the bookies and not even leave enough for petrol, bills etc. I'm not as reckless as I used to be but I'm still very bad and if I don't get a grip I will end up in a huge mess and massively let my family down.
Today is day 1 and I need to take this one day at a time. Just for today I will not gamble!
Hi there. I suppose I am in my early days yet and have all of your challenges to come but you are resetting now and we are with you all the way
It is very tough yet you are battling on well done. Best
Thanks for the kind words making hay! Its day 2 and I'm shortly going to leave for work. Feeling good bar a stiff back and I know I won't gamble today. I need to make the call to MOSES later and close the door on the two shops I have been travelling to.
I will post an update this evening. Just for today!
I think if I looked back on the times I've won and the times I've lost...The losses far outweigh what I have ever "won" - Although I never did win because I was always in debt to gambling!
I've not gambled as long as you have and I've also relapsed multiple times. I remember blowing my whole payday on one round of Blackjack and losing the lot. The shakes, the upset and the terror of realising I've got nothing to get by on...It hurt.
I had to accept it can't be a part of my life. I've spent over 10 years gambling - Its not a massive length of time in comparison but the fact I'm finding my feet again, repaying my debts...Sleeping at night. Not worried about how I'm going to afford food, heating and electric. Its giving me that push not to go back.
I'm about 6-7 months into a period of not gambling. Nothings drawing me back because I've accepted what is gone is gone. I'm not going to win back what I lost, I'll just end up in more debt. I think the fact I can enjoy my wage rather than blowing it on a table game that's going to leave me in a state of panic and anxiety was the realisation its time to stop.
I wish you the best!
Thanks Gone and Free and good luck staying away from table games.
I called Moses this evening and closed a few doors on shops I have travelled to. I've also agreed to take part in a 200 shop facial recognition trial. I hope this takes off and goes national as it would be fantastic to be unable to get a bet on nationwide.
Feeling calmer but a long way to go. One day at a time, just for today!
Another day in the bag, been busy with work and the kids. Will keep the post brief as I'm very tired. But a good positive day, hopefully a good nights sleep and a positive start in the morning. Just for today!
Another day in the bag, busy with work and then kids activites. No thoughts of gambling and already feeling more positive and in a better place. Payday on the 15th seems an age away and money is tight, but if I can keep on the straight and narrow my finances will quickly improve. Today has been a good day, tomorrow morning is another day. Just for today!
Hi Bronson, a very similar story to my own.
It is hard, all your thoughts are consumed by money/debts/gambling.
I think the trick is to keep your mind busy, don't give those gambling thoughts any space.
I've found working more very beneficial, be it around the house/garden or even better making more money to pay off those debts.
I too used to look for other opportunities outlets to gamble, travelling to far away bookies to punt, the journey home after was always horrific. If I'd put as much effort it to that as to doing something worthwhile I would of been out of debt years ago.
We're never going to win, there ain't enough money in the world to satisfy our needs where gambling is concerned.
A corny expression a day at a time bud, today is all that matters.
Thanks Rob, nice to read some useful advice. I'm feeling good, since joining here and excluding myself from the last two bookies I have felt a lot better. The urges have gone. Maybe because it would be so difficult for me to now gamble. I don't have time midweek to travel and I don't think its worth the effort on a weekend as I would probably get turned away due to MOSES.
Financially things are hard but its payday next week. Keep telling myself if I dont gamble I won't need to be skint again. Its been a long cycle for me since I started trying to stop. Lets hope this time I make a better go of it. Just For Today!
Hi
It is a good thing that you are back here again, Please do not give up on your self.
Do you understand what your last emotional trigger as.
For me gambling was just to painful.
In time I got to invest more time in my recovery and my healing of my pains.
I got to understand that giving my money to gambling establishments I was working and giving my hard worked money away to complete strangers.
Being gambling free I can make much healthier choices in my life.
Withot gambling I am not hurting my self.
Withot gambling I leanred to respect my self.
Withot gambling I learned to love my self.
Withot gambling I learned to heal my pains.
Withot gambling I learned to reduce and face my fears.
Withot gambling I learned to set my self free.
For me without gambling life is so much less stressful.
For me the many blocks help me help my self live a much healthier life.
In time the debts get paid back and I am able to become more relaxed in my self.
Today is day 1 the most important day of my life.
Just for today I do not want or need gamble!
The recovery program helped me help my self.
The recovery program helped me exchange my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
Thanks Dave thats an inspiring post. For the first time in ages I have woken up on a Saturday and not been picking out football bets or horses. I've also not been thinking what excuse will I make to disappear for a few hours this afternoon.
Got an unexpected bill yesterday, money is tight and when I get paid next Wednesday loads of it is already owed out. But this is the gambling way. Things will get better if I stay clear of a bookies.
Will be a nice family weekend, lots planned and I won't be wasting time in a bookies. Just for today!
So its been a week now and on reflection its been a good week. I feel I have made it much harder for myself to gamble. Also knowing that its not only local shops I'm excluded from but all shops is a big deterrent. Its just not worth a long drive for a bet as once I start betting big they will work out who I am and kick me out. So thats brilliant and its been wonderful to have a weekend focussed purely on the family without wasting so much time on gambling.
Financially this weekend has been crippling, I'm in a big mess and I really can't wait till payday on Wednesday. I'm owed a tax refund and I hope they have sorted it out or else I will be almost skint once I have paid everything out that I owe. But the first month after gambling is the hardest, finances will get better. It is a stress though with Christmas looming!
Its been a productive weekend, I've not been a wasteful dad, long may it continue. I have a long way to go but I can only do this a day at a time. Just for today!
Quick post because I'm knackered! Payday is here and I have not had any urges. Almost all my wages are owed out and I have made lots of repayments today. Feel good that I have paid things off and it will only get easier. Its a long time to the next pay so I need to manage what I have left carefully. Feel good not to be gambling.
Just for today!
Another quick post before work. Life is flying along so much better without gambling in it. Busy with work, busy with family and taking my wife away this weekend. Feeling really strong and positive at the moment.
I will add more detailed posts to this when I get the time. But importantly is all about just for today and if I follow that I will be ok!
Just checked my phone and I'm now on day 15 and I'm feeling great to be gamble free. I have not had any urges, strange after such a long time gambling again. I think the urge has gone because my blocks are finally working better than ever. It would be incredibly difficult to gamble and all the effort to gamble could very well be a waste of time so just no point.
Had a night away last night with my other half. Spent a fortune that I couldn't afford to spend but had a great time and better spent on things like that.
On a good path, just for today!
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