Hi all,
I am new to the site, but been advised to come on here by a friend and I hope this will finally do the trick
A bit about me, I am 25 years old, and would probably say I have been gambling since I was 18 years old. Back then it was little things, accumulators or bingo but nothing much more than that. Slowly, with the introduction of university and the break up of my back-then long term girlfriend, the gambling became a bit more heavy. Weekends would involve drinking, gambling, drinking, gambling. I thought it was innocent at first, wasn't much money and all good fun. I would begin to get more and more brave with each win, but these wins is where I would see it go downhill. I won a substantial amount of money online in November of 2013, however, by the end of the same week, it was gone. Lost, I felt I needed to win it all back. Never would do, but I wish I recognised it then. What followed was two years (which until three days ago) has been all the same reputition. As I was at university and gambling, I started to learn how to live with no money. Not a clever trait, but one which meant I could keep gambling going and everything else wouldn't even be mentioned. In the two years that followed, I would sign up to every site avaible, search for any shop within distance and just come up with any excuse to spend money on gambling. By the mid part of my third year at University, I had nothing left. Money (around £800) was given to me in the February to last me until April. It lasted 8 days.
I rang my parent's. Broken. Heartbroken. Told them everything and confessed. They understood and not soon after I pulled out of university. I went to GA meetings, trying so hard to get myself on track. I managed to go 6 months without gambling whilst I was bakc home but then I moved back down University again and all over again it started back up, even worse than before. I'd be online, and when I wasn't online, I'd be in the bookies. I knew there was something not quite right, but never would be able to become strong enough again to stop. I lied to my parents telling them everything was okay and it wasn't. I was at uni again for another year with no money, no social life, just a relationship between me and the addiction. I managed to get through the year somehow, how I don't know
I am back home now working and have been for the past year. It is here I really want to focus on my story. Living at home with the parent's I knew it would be hard to not crack this addiction sooner or later. Where I live isn't a big place, people know everyone and it is hard to keep a secret. Each month of my life at the moment basically goes like this. Payday comes, I get excited about gambling. Two days later I am skint with only £100 to last me the month. Not once since I have been gambling have I seen any benefit. I have been doing it years and every month I am still spending the last three weeks of the month skint. I lie to my parent's, my girlfriend, everyone around me about money and i am hurting a lot of people I don't even realise, but it isn't enough to crack it. I get excited by the prospect, but know realistically it is something I need to put a stop to before it get's out of control. Can you limit it? I don't know. Football is my biggest passion in life, but it is also always going to be the biggest tester of whether or not I can stop completely.
I got paid a week ago and I have £70 left for the month. I know I am not gambling for the rest of the month, but petrified for the time that payday does come and if I make it that far
So just a little bit about me
Thanks
You need some barriers in place pal or you're going to keep repeating the cycle. You've not changed anything so it's just going to go on. You need to reduce your withdrawal limit. You need to self exclude from everywhere. You need to re-tell your parents... don't worry about it just do it... I'm pretty sure they'll already know if you've been skint for years. I would then pass financial control to your parents and ask them to give you money each week and then you hand them receipts. I would tell them they can view your online banking at any time to check your transactions. If you do all this you will quit gambling. The key question is whether you want to quit? It can't be controlled and done in moderation as we are all addicted compulsive gamblers. It will only get worse unless you make some brave decisions and finally admit to a life with no gambling in it... it's mega scary but continuing down the same path is even more scary. Good luck.
I agree with change. If you still have the means by which to gamble you will. It's why we all kept chasing losses and gambling in the first instance.
It might sound child like but you need to give up the money to your parents. You need to be accountable to someone in the first instance otherwise the gambling part of your brain will keep telling you that £20 won't hurt. It's only £20. It hurts more than you'd believe when you walk out empty, worthless and beaten once again.
You need to read DuncanMacs post of stepping forward never back. He's been through it all and offers really good advice. Good luck buddy, make a choice not to gamble, it will be your biggest win
I want to quit as I feel it is something I desperately need to do if I want to make any advances in life, but I am so scared of the reality I face of re-telling my girlfriend and parent's
I keep telling myself that the impulse makes me happy and get's me excited, but maybe that is the addiction talking because at the end of the day I always end up back in the same situation of being skint and unhappy for the rest of the month, so it is evidence that I do want to and do need to stop.
Thank you for the advice, I am scared but definitely need to find the time to speak to my parent's to ensure it doesn't continue.
It's difficult but it's the only way it's going to work. Good luck.
It's difficult but it's the only way it's going to work. Good luck.
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