fresh start

Hmmm... I don't think you're going to last very long just by telling yourself you're not going to gamble again.

Really think about that mate. That strategy is just you talking desperate because your head is all muddled right now.

Read back your diaries over the last 7 odd years then come back here and confirm that you are defo going to be fine because you've told yourself that all you need to do is not gamble again. Come on now... :o(

Gambling has really taken over your mind, body and spirit mate. It's even taking the P**s out of you now, making you come on here and post comments like that.

You seem like an intelligent bloke. After 7+ years of pain/torment, broken relationships and all the other punishment gambling has dished out on you surely now you've got to accept that you aren't going to stop gambling just by telling yourself not to do it anymore.

Something else needs to happen. It breaks my heart to keep reading how you keep going back to this dark art that you know is destroying you from the inside outwards. 

Have you taken you're card back off your mum? How did you get access to £400? Or did you keep the new card that you got issued?

Could you at least try every means possible to go just a couple of months without gambling then reflect and review your situation at that point? See how much better you feel with a bit of clean time behind you then hopefully that will buoy you to accumulate some more clean time on top of that?

Going back to your original post - you're not going to beat this alone mate... That seems obvious to me. You're in too deep. By all mean please prove me wrong though, I implore you to prove me wrong in fact!

I'm sure if you ally yourself with people at your local GA group you may have a better chance of at least putting a chunk of clean time behind you.

Going back to your original post, I told myself over and over I would never gamble again after gambling. It was only a matter of time before I did. Like you always say - I can never say for sure I won't gamble again but I have realised that the more work I put in to not gambling, the more likelihood there is that I won't gamble. It doesn't just happen (well if you're mega lucky it probably does but judging from our diaries and experiences I don't think we one of the lucky ones do you) ;o)

Just get some clean time behind you one way or another then assess what to do from there. Sounds like right now you're head is full of fog. Let the clean time help to clear that out so you can at least think clearly. Do whatever you have to do to get that clean time together mate.

Posted by: signalman

I just had a look at the £2 FOBT on YouTube (curiosity I guess?)

Jeez... The people that engineer these games are geniuses who have sold their soul to devil. It is unreal how clever they are... How they have manipulated the stake reduction in such a way that the game can still whip hundreds of pounds away from you within half and hour and the ingenuity associated with how they've created a platform which gives the impression there are wins to be had but actually the prospect of chasing losses is ever greater - which of course equals more spins and more investment.

And the f*****s have shortened the spin time considerably. What a terribly underhand move. Lacks class right? :oO

Right... These f*****s are SO much more cleverer than me. I will never take them on again. I was scared about watching the video but intrigued after your previous post so took the plunge. Realising how undeniably clever these guys are has scared the s**t out of me and I won't look back now. Onwards and upwards for me.

Graeme - although we have only known each other for a matter of months and we have never met but I would still like to ask something of you if I may... PLEASE DO NOT EVER ENTER THE BOOKIE TO PLAY THE REDUCED STAKE FOBT - whatever reason you try and give yourself (curiosity, boredom) please do not do it.

Now I have seen it I have recognised how large sums of money can be drained from you on a short amount of time. Your addiction will run rife if you ever go near those machines again and you may ended posting on here that you've just done a load of money despite the stake being reduced.

I am fairly well versed when it comes to the psychological stuff associated with gambling addiction so can tell you that unfortunately, someone like yourself or me who loves/loved the FOBT roulette are vulnerable.
Keep away.

I know you said they look boring/what's the point but the prospect is there to win 5,10 or 30 times your stake off ВЈ2... The dopamine hit you'll get off that will be enough to lure you back to those machines for hours on end. One taste of the above scenario and you'll be hooked back in. Money can and will slip through your fingers despite the ВЈ2 stake. The spins are rapid mate. You could do £50 in a matter of minutes. Hundreds within half an hour. The green bar is a masterstroke from them if you want to call it that... It speeds up the game considerably and if you are on tilt the green bar can help to ensure you keep button bashing and get more frustrated as it works on the same principle as the CONTINUE/LOSE feature on the fruit machine... ie it's a load of b******s. The green bar keeps the tension and tenacity of the game at an optimum, and that's where they want you.

I am mindful that my addiction may trick me into experimenting with the machines for curiosities sake and I could naively regard the £2 reduction as my buffer from stepping over the line into problem gambling, however after seeing that video I realise that being a CG, the prospect is still there to do big sums of money despite the stake reduction due to some masterful engineering on their part.

Stay away bro. Stay away. Do not think for one second the reduction will safeguard you from the hell of problem gambling and doing a load of dough in a short space of time.

I'm actually glad I watched that video today. Very glad.

This is really alarming, I don't know what has happened but I also youtubed it and the spins look a lot faster now. It makes sense... As they are now categorised the same as slots (which already has a £2 limit and is also very fast to bet), it seems like nothing much has changed, I don't understand the bar on the left of the screen, but I think i was too naive to think this stake reduction would actually help. I don't even understand what the green/red bar is.

-

To OP, as already said, after 7 years you need a new approach. Tackling the deeper roots to your addiction, as addiction is always a symptom of something else.

Sorry for not replying properly but at the minute. Just need to move away from gambling and get my thoughts together. At work all day doesn’t make life any better. Something needs to change and I understand wear your coming from even though it’s brutal in parts but I totally agree 

Absolutely. Get your thoughts together then make a plan and attack this.

I'm glad you took my comments at face value - I and others would be doing you a disservice if we just replied with "everything's going to be ok" because based on where your heads at, it's probably not going to be ok unless you instigate some sort of significant change in how you go about beating this. 

With no clear idea of how you're going to beat this, you're in a vulnerable and dangerous place as ever.

Blocks, financial controls, GA... All the usual stuff could help you through at least for a little while until your head is clearer and you can decide for yourself what needs to happen next.

Just get through the day without gambling for now eh? 

Forget the £400... You wont win it back on £2 stakes. Please remember that.

Your folly for going near those machines when you know they are no good for you.

This fight against gambling has to start from you. You can't keep pumping money in those machines then feeling sorry for yourself afterwards. 

Anyway please keep fighting this mate. Don't give up. 

Day 2 no gambling 

The urge to gamble is not there. I have the money still but I don’t feel like putting myself through this s**t anymore yeah it’s just words but it’s the way I feel.     

I hope this is the start you're looking for mate. Let the machines win and just move on. Life will be a while lot better. Don't waste any more of it ;o)

Do the right thing by yourself and your family.

Will do mate. I’m going to do the day count again like I did once before even if I don’t say anything else. Just to keep track on how many days 

Day 3 day off no thoughts whatsoever of gambling. How I gambled signalman is me mam didn’t want to destroy debit card so she kept card but like every time I put pressure on her to give me it. I have now cut it in half what a relief when I did it on Sunday. It feels different this time but I have said this many times in the past

I guess it feels different this time because all the time before you were banking on this stake reduction to turn you off gambling but now you realise that in itself is not enough to keep you off a bet so you need to take ownership / responsibility for your problem and deal with it yourself now?

How your feeling could be a good sign that you're finally ready now.

Nobody else, no stake reduction, no law or legislation, no cut up card or no self-exclusion is going to beat gambling for you by itself. You need to back all these things up with your self-belief that you are better than this. Ultimately you have to beat it, the blocks are there just to add fuel to your self-belief. 

And you can beat this mate. If you want it enough. Go for it this time.

Day 4. No thoughts whatsoever of gambling if anything feel silly in playing fobt at £2 stake. Still got plenty of money in bank and pay day today must keep it that way because one mad session and I could be in debt again I can’t go back to that. Just wish I didn’t have this terrible disease and had lead a normal life because without it I could have had everything I ever wanted married home of me own instead I’m living back at me mams and going nowhere. But not gambling at least at the moment 

How are you doing today? I felt the pain of your last post, I hope you haven't been trying to find a remedy for these feelings in the machines - theyll out dish out more pain and destruction mate.

Just wanted to thank you for your message on my diary. Everything you said was spot on and I needed to hear that.

Lately whenever we reach home my boy always says we are at 'daddys house' - so today I tried to explain to him that it is in fact 'his house'
He argued the toss with me about it ('no, daddy's house') so I broke it down for him:

"This is your house - inside your house you have a cot, you have toys, you have food, you have nappies, you have a television, you have clothes, you have a garden and you have a cat"

After doing this I felt an overriding sense of joy and appreciation. I guess relaying all this to him made me realise that despite everything that's happened, we have the things that we need and more, we get by and we will be ok. It made me appreciate what gambling has left me with as opposed to what it has taken away - and was a reminder that some people are left with nothing after gambling, thats how cruel the illness can be. Your message to me also reminded me of this and helped me to step outside of myself and my malaise.

Just wanted to share in the hope that you will be able to spend a moment reflecting on what you have got and remember that without gambling you are liberated and the possibilities are limitless... Even if you feel like yiu have nothing right now, without gambling you can draw a line and start anew. When you say goodbye to gambling it can no longer take from you.

It dawned on me after that the thing I forgot to mention to my afterwards is that he has me and we have each other which of course is far more important than everything else I mentioned ;o)

Good day to you buddy, thanks again for the support. Keep in touch.

day 5 no gambling I have had no thoughts of playing the fobt. Had a message off the ex saying why have I not paid c.s.a yet first message I have had off her for a long time I just said it’s not the end of week yet she wasn’t impressed. How things with your wife signalman? Is she still supporting you  

Hello mate

Yes my wife is still supporting me through this GF journey - she is being supportive as ever. When I initially blew my load gambling I actually blamed her for it, convincing myself that she drove me to destroy our finances and future... I was convinced she would leave me and then convinced myself that I would prosper without her and my son in my life anyway, they were just hindrances - holding me back from my 'true potential'  ???

Makes me shudder to think back to then and how ill I was. I owe her so much for sticking with me... I would have continued gambling without her and my son around. My life would be in ruins.

Fast forward to today - there are days where she does my head in, she whines, she wallows in self-pity, she throws herself at the mercy of friends who come round playing the victim saying I'm hard work to live with now im in recovery and this transitional period.

It used to really P**s me off, I would berate her for affecting my recovery with her pessimism or downbeat outlook or criticise her negativity. 

Until one day it dawned on me that this behaviour is symptomatic of the illness manifesting in other forms... Who the hell am I to judge and regulate her behaviour after everything I have done and everything I have put them through? She bloody well has the right to have an off day after I turned her world upside down and made her life a misery over and over with gambling and consequent moodswings? But she stuck with me because she could see the good underneath it all... And I need to let that good out now and reaffirm to her that she made the right decision, for her and my son.

Since realising all this I just try to support her through hard times when she dips, it's about her expectations now - not mine.

And if she is really on the emotional rampage that day I just hide in the spare room or hit the gym! ?

I was always looking for a 'quick fix' at the time of gambling, and now the bets weren't coming in anymore it scares me to consider the quick fix I may have sought had they not stayed with me and left me open to continue gambling (such was my mindset at the time) 

After coming clean to her she took a day off work and helped me to put all the mechanical blocks in place. She lost a days earnings but undoubtedly it was one of the most crucial and important days in our lives together so far... For her help that day I am eternally grateful to her and will continue to pay her back forever. The debt will never be paid, even when the money is eventually paid back