Hey Michael, just dropping by to make sure you're ok and to say thanks for stopping by my diary, much apprecaited 🙂
Day 1 🙁 tomorrow at least I am back quick
did not gamble all week went mental today need to get back on track as I am quickly falling off the wagon at least self exclusion working am having to drive over 20 miles to bet. Look I need to get back on track
Dust it off and get back on the wagon asap. You know you can do it.
How you doing Michael? Things settling back down? Hope you're ok.
Still alive :0 and gamble free hanging in barely
1 Huge Week thankfully GAMBLE FREE
8 days
17
15
Well done on another one notched up!
Keep at it
S x
Back to the start don't really feel like talking at the moment but will be back on the wagon tomorrow and start again as I have to.
So back to the start, I feel quite low at the moment hanging for a bet. So just a normal first day of recovery but it starts so on we go.
So slipped again, for someone reading this for the first time you might think me quite mad. Well I suppose I am in terms of the non - gambling world. I gambled today I don't want to gamble, I know I am going to lose yet I gambled. Messed up it does not your mental state any good. I am barred from everywhere I don't gamble on line yet I find somewhere new. Well there is no point in chasing or going back after whats done but I am honestly sick of things. Yet as I write this I am planning another bet on one shoulder and holding off on another. I will survive but I can't do much more of this relapses are killers let no one tell you any different. I am not even gambling for long just doing financial damage anyway tomorrow is day one and it will be gamble free. I wish you all the best till tomorrow evening. Hopefully my head will be clearer.
Michael I've followed your diary for quite some time. I can relate to everything you say.
I was never into online I always preferred the physical machine.
I'd say for as long as I can remember I never gambled with the intention of winning. It was more the act I enjoyed. If I won great. But if I didn't win I couldn't of cared less because I had what I went for the buzz. I'd say over 90 percent of the time I gambled on any given day I would at some point be up. But 95 percent of the time I would finish the day down.
The more I won the more I raised the stakes. Almost like a yearn to lose?
Anyhow I noticed you had a good run of day's this year somewhere over the 200 mark. So you have it in you to put a good day count together. You just need to find that stride again and keep it ticking.
Deano
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