Gamble Free since 19th March 2021…still fighting the urge…

I am a gambling addict and I haven’t gambled since Friday 19th March 2021

I needed to remind myself of the journey I am on. I remain incredibly proud of my achievements to date and the stronger person I have become since choosing to no longer gamble.

However over the past week or two I have really experienced a growing urge to gamble. The positive result is I have remained strong and chosen not to gamble on my temptations - perhaps in the past I would have given in.

If I am honest, my self-awareness is one of my strongest skills which I am grateful as a useful tool to become gamble-free. Yet within the past two weeks I can’t quite put my finger on my recent urges and what they are stemming from?

On a side note to this, I have noticed that I have become relatively addicted to:

-Social Media (randomly checking it)

-Eating/Drinking (random urges which isn’t like me)

I managed to take a one week break from social media with ease - which in reflection felt like I was challenging myself to cope without it. Although this can’t really be applied in the same manner to food/drink I don’t think…

I sense boredom is potentially behind this. 

This makes me believe the recent urge to gamble is through a lack of entertainment and thrill for myself. Without boasting, I am in a healthy and wealthy position than I’ve ever been in my life purely through working hard every week - so realistically the financial gain isn’t my leading temptation. I think the temptation is wanting to FEEL the thrill and some could argue escape the real World too for brief spells.

Having this forum to be open and expressive is certainly something I am incredibly grateful for right now. In the past when I have relapsed, I didn’t even know much about GamCare - and now more than ever this community feels like my safety net. 

This is a really good reminder for myself that whilst 95% of my gamble-free days genuinely feel like I’ve overcome the addiction, I still believe that risky 5% of gambling is worth every moment I spend logging into this site.

Thank you for taking the time to read through my blog. Whether you are Day 1 or beyond, I have learnt how important everyone else is that supports each other here - eternally appreciate this environment! 

Az