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Hi Sis,

Always happy when you stop by my thread. I see how much help and support you offer so many of the folks on this site. I would say you are all aces in my book but, that gambling allusion might not be appreciated by all. I guess I said it anyway... It is what it is. You are gold! Stay that way. -joanxxx

LOL no work well Shi-t girl party on. LOL oh yeah appointment.

No we ain't got all that stuff for cooking machines, but do have pizza oven and toaster. Hell if It's all going at the same time breakers POP and yeah have to run outside to another room to flick it all back on. LOL Yup only get 15 minutes for break and just plan on eating it cold. LOL

Well think you should try one of them twisted teas for that back and might just twist it back. LOL tasty girl real tasty. I'm on bottle number 3 now out of a six pack and yeah hoping tomorrow won't be a head banger. LOL

Gee dead bird, glad my cat don't venture outside cause yeah that's where her water and food bowl would be permanently. LOL Yup sorry kitty but your no longer welcome inside. LOL Lol Lol

Oops did it again but short and sweet message. LOL kinda like well get some good sleep in and no cat to bother ya anyway. LOL

Hell just talked to me boy and yeah he's got $40 of my gangster money coming his way. I'm such a sucker. LOL Lol Lol

Hey girl, and holly cr** is it hot and humid here. Didnt turn air on yet but yeah real soon. LOL mailed off $40 on the way back home to my boy and yeah thinking I'm gonna owe my co-worker a case of beer before this week ends. LOL yeah he told he put in for a 6 hour in and 2 hour out sub run and hell no one takes those things. LOL kinda looks like he may have got it and yeah gonna miss the as-shole. guess I'll just look at that case of cold ones as a going away present. LOL

Hell girl bring that cat food back indoors. LOL just got A notice from the city here saying reports of rats in the area and yeah if you don't know what's eating that kitty food ya sure don't wanna keep feeding it. LOL guess the only thing I've ever had problems with is mice here and sure don't wanna deal with anything bigger. LOL my cats name is midnight named by the kids of course. I wanted to call her boogie cause she's got a white spot on her all black nose and sure looks like a boogie to me. LOL Yeah kids weren't having nothing to do with that name at the time so midnight it was.

And yeah a while back my 3rd shift buddy gave me some ghost pepper seeds to plant. Hell had them things in a pot of dirt for like a month and a half and nothing ever sprouted till yesterday. LOL Yup one little green thing came poping up and just hoping it ain't a weed. LOL Lol Lol sh-it hoping it ain't to late in the season for it to do It's thing and produce me some as-s kicking hot peppers. dam thing is only like a inch tall with 2 leaves and has got A long way to go. LOL

Well hope that back starts feeling better for ya soon. Hell tossed out mine more than a few times and no joy in that sh-it. Hope your having a good day off otherwise.

LOL no my 3rd shift buddy still sticking around, this guys a 2nd shifted but lots of fun and full of stories. He drove a tank in the army back in his younger days and yeah he can give ya a bunch of belly laughs with events he's been through.

Oh boy girl, if you have no ideal of the kick a ghost pepper packs check it out on u-tube. LOL not for the timid I tell you. Wanna make a batch of chili or 2 with them things and see if I survive it all. LOL Lol Lol

Biting dogs do suck and good for your dad for not bringing it back. Guess once they start pulling that kinda sh-it there's only more to follow and yeah needs to be nipped in the bud.

Another early one hey, gotta make them appointments for later in the day girl. LOL

Hoping ya get more shut eye tonight.

Hey soul and lol, the only memory I hav about tanks is a Russian movie "3 tankists and a dog" lol..and that's a comedy pice worth watching 😀 as of your 2nd 3rd or 4th shifts lol you will hav to explain to me in detail cause I'm lost with them and hav no clue wot u on about lol

Dear diary,

Half way through my week and it just flies!! Read a lot around the forum last night while gripped in an insomnia claws and to be honest had few tears rolling down. It is horrible addiction killing it all on the way. I understand partners pain and lack of trust against cg...but what hurts me the most is innocent children. Yes diary, I wouldn't of put it down, but I am now. I hate to see a kid suffer one way or the other...sometimes emotional scars is harder to heal no matter how hard you try and to be inflicted that pain from someone you trust, treasure, keep safe with, love and admire is worse than a sharp stab in the heart..

It is wot it is - addiction can be arrested. Looking into ones heart can stop the merry go round. Save next generation and be happy with what you have - no money will buy the feeling of security and peace within family.

Before placing a bet, pushing that button, seeing a horse, choosing a number/colour, let your mind wonder off, put a picture of your loved one in that place, breathe in a think twice - is it worth it?????

Over and out

S x

Hi Sandra

I hope you are enjoying your days off and not reflecting too much on the past as I am trying not to with my week off

Enjoy the freedom this week of not having to work

That has to be positive doesn't it

Take care

Suzanne xx

Hey girl, no sleep again and off. That really sucks and yeah suppose to get rested girl before ya returning to work after holiday. LOL sh-it think I drank like 4 beers yesterday and out like a light around 6:30 and slept till 4 this morning. LOL lol Lol Yup felt real good.

Yeah no word on that exchange either and maybe for Christmas. LOL

So your going through a deep freeze over there. LOL rained pretty much to whole day while I was working but Sun is out now and getting humid. I'm pretty sure that air will be going on pretty quick.

Yup the second shifter (Timmy the tank) got the word he starts his new job next Tuesday. He's off Thursday and Friday so only got one more working day with him. Sure gonna miss the guy and was lots of fun to work with. Paid him a $20 today for that case a beer so all settled up with him there. Hell we order burritos and stuff from the Mexican joint for lunch and yeah they never get the order right and a few people went without. LOL Hell got mine and Timmy got his so all good with us. LOL Lol Lol hell that burrito was so big be eating the other half later tonight.

We run 3 basic shifts at our work, well 5 actually but I'll explain 3. LOL first shift is 6 in the morning till 2 in the afternoon, second shift is 3 in the afternoon till 11 at night and then the 3rd shift which is 11 at night till 7 in the morning. Guess the other 2 shifts would be 7 in the morning till 3 in the afternoon and 10 in the morning till 6 at night. LOL Yeah got some variety going on there.

Sure hope ya didn't head off to the land of bells and whistles girl. Only bad feelings come out of that place and not worth the trip.Lol

Well hope your day ended UP more enjoyable than it started. And yeah there's just days like that. Talk soon girl

Well glad ya stayed away from slots and ya know your better for it.

No the tank didn't buy lunch but came from a fund one of the teachers leave us every year at the end of the school year. So yeah midnight and I just finished up that chicken burrito and sitting both with full bellies. LOL

I'm working the 6 to 2 shift right now and yeah there be a big crew at the high schools. Hell guess i didn't even get into the 10 hour shifts ya can work in the summer. LOL

Hell weather went back to cloudy over here and so far haven't had to turn on that air. Guess It's suppose to rain for most of the week anyway which is fine with me since I'm working it anyway. LOL thinking the weekend is suppose to be better and yeah my go check out that farmers market on Saturday. Hell guess you be looking at way better than me with some sweet cheeks coming your way. LOL and yeah don't forget that camera girl.

What kinda apts ya got going on that they be getting ya up early on your days off? Hell when it comes to apts. Most where I work schedule them for the day time hours when their working just to get away from the place. LOL

Well hope ya get some way better sleep in tonight.

Hi Sandra

Just want to say you are doing well back on track keep strong and keep going I am just realising it might get tougher not easier at the moment for me and I am urging you on to keep abstaining one day at a time

Suzanne xx

Hey girl, and to bed early with ya last night. Yeah i didn't crash out as early as I did the night before but netficks ain't running like it should be and yeah gave up like 9 on it and called it a night. LOL

No guess It's not out of the teachers expense money we get cash from them. They just appreciate the stuff we do for them during the school year and a few will give us a little something for pizza or whatever. Usually only get one that gives us cash. Another one from timmy's run today gave a $100 gift certificate to a sub sandwich place so yeah we'll be using that Monday on timmy's last day. Then there's this teacher that always makes us a few batches of home made chocolate chip cookies a couple times a year and yeah got treats and snacks coming our way quite often. LOL

Well hope ya get that relaxing day like ya want tomorrow, never enough of them. LOL Hell just finished mowing The lawn. Lawn mower sounded a little slow so cleaned the air filter and changed the oil on it. Didn't feel like running for a new spark plug so will do it over the weekend.

Yeah farmers market ain't to bad. Guess Wednesday night is so crowded ya can't move and don't really care to go then. The have bands, all sorts of premade food booths, jewelry, flowers and of course them fruits and veggies. So yeah haven't been to one this year yet so my check it out.

Well good to hear carla is doing ok. Haven't heard from that girl for quite sometime and she's due for a update. LOL

One more day to get through and yeah the weekend. Hell guess It's my cleaning one here but as long as it ain't at work I'll take it. LOL

Hope your day was good to you.

Awe ya no the routine. LOL

Thanks Suzanne, Soul

Dear diary,

What a great day yesterday and today so far (can't jinx it lol)

Keeping busy is definitely a key factor to stay safe in my recovery. No urges and no time for them, I am keeping myself occupied in my world and taking it all in. Of course without friends and relatives that wouldn't happen.

Looking at myself and recognising the triggers, boredom and continues beating myself up just leads to reach for that self destruction button. No!!! Not today, I have it all around me and don't need to spend even a second on something what only brings pain, misery and hater. False mirage in a desert...today I choose life - smiles, peace and happiness, may long it continue.

Hav a good day all and stay safe from the evil of a addiction. Live a dream and not the nightmare 🙂

S x

Hey girl, and yeah didn't hear nothing other than the initial thing saying they received my email. Just emailed again asking them to use my gmail or hotmail Adress cause yeah my gmx account is unless and won't even bring up the login page. LOL when it does It's in German and yeah I don't speak the language. LOL Lol Lol tried mailing administration this morning but wouldn't go through and just now got it to send so yeah kinda like that. LOL

Hell kinda frustrating and yeah cracked open one of those mikes harder rock lemonade with the 8% alcohol to ease the pain. LOL Yup thinking there will be a few more to follow too and guess I really don't wanna be watching tv tonight with one eye close but looking like a good possibility at this point. LOL Lol Lol

LOL Lol Lol hell girl couldn't possibly feel like sh-it cause yeah number 3 of them mikes. LOL doing some house cleaning, tunes a blaring and yeah all good over here. Lol guess the only thing bringing down the day would be no message from administration and guess that's livable too. LOL really wanna mail ya few goodies for them holidays but yeah just gonna go with the flow with that and whatever.

So working are ya? Hoped ya crawled back into that slowly. LOL Yup after a week off almost a given. LOL