...

Well today can only get better:-)

Day 53, not a penny wasted, feel fully recharged for weekend at work, sun is shining and i feel loads better, no urges wat so ever.

Another amazing thing - meeting with sister later and going to swimming pool:-D 🙂 🙂 🙂

Happy happy happy!

Take care all lovely people

Day at the time, we will make it!

Sandra x

Hey Sandra

Was good to catch up earlier- I'm so pleased that things are working out the way you want them to- you deserve it because you've worked so hard to make these changes 🙂

Happy Happy Happy!!! great to hear

Take care

Irene

x

Estonia ? Latvia? Or Lithuania ? ..lol ..Am I close?

I just googled the Baltic states as my geography is not brilliant these days ...I sort of know roughly where places are but not totally...

Its a funny thing accents isn't it? ...I love it when people I have met travelling from the US say "hey , you have an accent" ...and I say "no...you have the accent" ..lol ...

Most people think I'm Australian for some reason but did spend some time there,,,no longer do I go "up"at the end of my sentences.

I do struggle with phone stuff these days and also the banks...It's soooo frustrating as I'm not good at I.T stuff anyway and I usually use the wrong jargon so conversations just get more confusing...I'd rather speak face to face.....

If an alien came down and heard us all saying "dongle, app, android,gig,server,wifi" they would probably be as confused as me..lol

Also glad you are doing so well Sandra....and working things out with your sis....

Keep posting xxxx

Hey Sandra,

Just read your post on my diary, and then dawned on me that you are my 5 day senior, and I totally forgot to say well done on the 50!! You have done so well and can be so proud of yourself. I can only offer the excuse of being preoccupied with my 2 little monsters, although it has been a wonderfully fulfilling excuse for me this week.

Anyway, a belated congratulations and keep up the great work.

Phil

X

Sandra ..

YOU ARE WORTH IT xxxx

always remember that!!!

R and D xx

Thanx Rach and D, i will keep it in mind:-)

Hello diary,

Well, not much sleep last night...nightmares haunts me again + sprained my neck yesterday, wat a joy not being able to move my head lol...

Anyway day 54, close to two months...happy for my achievement:-) Even was told by my mate today that she is proud of me. Nice to hear encouraging words.

It's gonna be long day and night today, but i'm ready and soon be Monday when i can hav my rest.

Right, time to try going for a jog + sister paying a visit later for a cuppa.

Take care everyone and enjoy the sun:-) Day at the time!

Sandra x

Hi Sandra

Thanks for your post on my diary yesterday.

Get some deep heat on the neck and a dose of painkillers maybe that might help you sleep.

You are doing great, your friend should be proud of you. Enjoy your jog and your cuppa with your sis.

Take Care

Lisa 🙂

Thanx Lisa, Lady Irene and Mr Phil:-)

Work is crazy! How good boss- sitting few feet away but still sending e-mail giving me orders.....Am i missing something? Lol i love comunication here haha.

Feeling good otherwise, already outside having my cigs....stress lol, need to give up somehow...at least no urges- good good good!

Take care all, enjoy your evenings and weekends:-)

Sandra x

Good morning diary,

Wasn't going to write this down, but i feel i have to because it's reality...

Was reading diaries with mentioning relapses...not sure how i feel, would like to jump in a car, go whatever those ppl are and assure them that it's OK, it happens and it's normal, human...

How do i feel about relapsing myself? - i shake with fear...but i know it's always next to me, that feeling and it all depends how strong it is, and how weak i am at that moment.....i never say never, because i don't know....i would like it NOT to happen, but then i think: " the more i push myself not to do it, the stronger it's going to come back"?

I don't know anymore, day at a time?Day at a time......

I just wish i was never introduced to this horrible,depressing and destroying habbit....but i was and i can't change that.

At the min i don't feel strong at all, and it's sad, but it's human feeling....

Day 55.......made me think....think long and hard.... about myself, my loved ones, every single one of you, and reality...

Just keep it up guys

Sandra x

Hey Sandra

all you can think about is one day at a time- so for DAY 55 you did not gamble- BRILLIANT! leave tomorrow to look after it self, and yesterday is in the past, we've only got today.

I'm sorry that you are feeling low, I was low yesterday but feel different today, its probably just part of the recovery journey. You can do it, stay strong.

Stuxx

morning Sandra,

thank you so much for you posts on my diary, I think it is great to have friends on here which are of a similar time profile to yourself, we are almost gamcare twins, waking up to a new world. You can be very proud, of yourself, feels like you have had a very thoughtful week, take care and stay strong (and keep running)

Phil

Thank you Phil and Stu, keep going strong guys:-)

It has been very thoughtful week; but it's healthy to look at things sometimes. Tiredness plays big part in this rollercoaster ride. One day up- next down. Still, once again i picked myself up, had a good run( didn't realise how HOT is outside) but it's done and dusted lol, feel a bit melted but at least topped up my tan:-)

Anyway one round down at work, two more to go. Looking forward and carry on.

Take care all, have a great day and enjoy the sun!

Sandra x

Hey Sandra

Running in this heat- now that is keen 🙂

I can identify with the ups and downs- they happen to most of us I think. One of the best things I read was just accept that they happen, don't last, and tomorrow will be different! Enjoy the good and wait for the bad to pass is what I'm trying to do.

Take care

Irene

x

Thank you Irene, i hope you enjoy your weekend and keeping cool from this sun:-)

Good morning diary...morning, day or night for me...all the same lol

Not much to report, trying to chill out after work, a bit knackered but can't make myself hav a kip. I think i'm getting new obsession lol - running! I would quite like to go out now, at least it's cooler in a mornings.

Found very interesting read not long ago....it's about my addiction, but very clear book.. Maybe it will help me to understand myself better...

Anyway, take care guys, thank you all for your continued kind words and support:-)

Oh yea........day 56.....lovely..

Sandra x ( ready for a jog lol)

The day continues... Last round at work and hopefully knock down in a morning..really need to catch up with my sleep. Feel like going 100miles per hour this week. Work is absolutely mayhem- seems as the more hotter outside, the more busy we get.

Thought about my first goal in this journey( day at a time of course) but i would like to reach a year gamble free( and on) because i gambled for a year, and it was enough to ruin me and my finances, so just want to see what i can gain in this year:-) Challenge on - bring it!

Coming up to 2 months, fantastic, i wouldn't lie that it does get easier. Of course every day is diferent but as long as i keep my guard up, keep myself busy, and stay close to this site - i will get closer to that brighter and clearer future.

Well, carrying away a bit here, don't want to b late for my 13 hours race at work:-)

So for now - just day at a time!

Take care all, thanx for reading.

Sandra x