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Hi Sandra
Glad Dad is well and you survived house move.
Will I still see you at work?
Actually on leave next week anyway so I won't be there lol
Stay safe
Cheryl xx

Hi Sandra,

Just checking in to say Hi!

And keep strong throughout the weekend.

Ade x

Hi Sandra; how WONDERFUL about your Dad! I'm so glad.

Hi Sandra,

Glad to read that your dad is on the mend and that your ok in yourself and continuing to work recovery.

My washing machine felt like it was going to catch fire on Friday. Amamzingly ive still got insurance on it, even though its 8 years old. Hopefully they can fix it one last time before it gives up the ghost for good.

Thoughts are with you. Take care and keep safe... S.A 🙂

Not heard from you for a few days lovely lady, hope all is good.

xxx

Hi all and thank you so much xxx.

Coming bk with tail between my legs..i did lapse....again.
Yes..i know i know...BLOCKS BLOCKS BLOCKS. No excuse...nothing..just empty space as it goes.
I've been an a**e and gave in to mr Gamble..a little escape was what i needed. Not much lost but had around 6hrs of madness..managed to set myself free from it's grip. ...GC admin, Samaritans and few pecial friends was there on the sidelines.
Gonna try and try to find what I'm looking for..and gambling is not in the picture. Sorry i let all of you down..today is day one and today i will give my 100% not to gamble.

No sympathy please
Talk soon dear soldiers

Sandra

Hi Sandra, your voice is always welcome on here no matter what you been up to. I know I myself realize it's important to post whether I have been being controlled or relapsing. And it's the same for you. You know how it goes girl. Never quit quitting. Sisters in arms, Jen

Hi, thanx Jen

Well..i did put all my rambling on your tread Jen so cannot be Arsed to rewrite it so if ya don't mind i copied and pasted it over:

Ya know...i tricked myself into thinking that i can do "planned" gambling and control it. Yes i lost a lot and yes i won the f****r bk and stopped. Does it mean i am in control and cured from the addiction? No....cause every part of my body wants to head bk there today, cause I'm eager to loose it all. Strange when we say that eh? I want to give my hard earned cash away....crazy for sure.
So what i have learned from yesterday. That i need to follow full abstinence cause if i won't do that i will bring death on myself....cause emotional f**k up is not worth the hassle and "fun" for a few hours, this escape is using my last energy and sanity i have got left in this fragile body....cause one day the "luck" will end and it will be too late to put things right...and that's scary thought cause this gambling S***e makes me someone I'm not - danger to myself which inevitably will affect my loved ones and everyone around me.

I'm hurt but not beaten and as one amazing soul from here said " there is always a rainbow after the storm".......plus i do want to stand in the sun and i will do it from now on 🙂

http://youtu.be/ljyt9_TFZd4

stay safe all

S x

Hey S.

How dare you leave your important post for me for a burning kitchen lol, surely the water from your washing machine would have kept the fire at bay, Ohh HD.

Seriously girl you got your hard earned back yesterday, (and you spent quite a bit) that was an ullusion of chance, next time you 99% won't get your money back, and then you will chase, pleased you came on here this afternoon to keep you out of trouble,

Just think hard Sandra, you work long horrible hours and you are not particularly happy in that job, so why are you working to feed your addiction, it's not the big escape hun, it's an horrendous illusion, end of lecture, hun, except to say you got your money back yesterday, tomorrow you won't, and what is the point in playing to just get your money back, (I know it's the fix) but there are sooo much better ways of getting a 'fix' and cheaper and saner, and healthier, change what you can in your life for you, you are so much worth it my little friend, move away from what has/is hurting you,

Not a lecture S I don't want you to sink into the oblivion of the gambling addiction,

Sxxxxxxxx

Hi Sandra,

Thanks for your post on my diary.

Back to basics and 'one day at a time' eh......you know the drill soldier....come on, i'm rooting for ya!! ;0)

Keep strong hun, enough said...

Ade x

Hey Coo Coo, thanx for my bump!

I trust that work is keeping you busy & you haven't leapt back into Mr Gamble's lying arms! I'm signing as per our pact now & didn't want you hunting me down for not dropping by after an evening of posting!

Be strong - ODAAT - Juuuuuune

Thanks guys. Still here an still fighting.

Over and out..stay safe all S x

☺...Sandra is calm now...took a while lol.
So, recovery eh?..yes, recovery is bespoke and uptil now i thought it brings honesty to souls...nah nah nah!!!! What's happening with the world? Why do we have few poisonous ..ummmm...characters amongst us. .people stopped listening to each other..as sayin goes: "as higher you jump the lower you fall"..lol..this is my invented sayin (or not?) but hey, ...
I guess we all been there..flying high too close to that sun..only to hit the ground and pick up the pieces...and ya know what...my flying days are over..i prefer solid ground ☺

Ok. So no gambling so far. Setting myself a target to 2025..yep, this will be the year i hit 40's ...and hopefully will be in completely different place when i am now....(be at home and not at work at night time lol)

Not expecting too much from myself lol..but hoping to stick around and most importantly - be in recovery.☺

Calm post over. Tiredness kicks in.

Stay safe all and keep fighting the good fight. The fight where life comes first and respect for yourself feeds respect for others..something this universe still lacks...sadly

S x

Hello diary,

Just wanted to record that i have finally got my determination and strength together (plus logical mindset) and installed gamblock on my device. Probably the best purchase i could of made ☺
...next...today I'm gonna get out and sign up to the gym.
...next...tonight i might as well show my face in town...been a while...plus dancing shoes needs a little use to them lol.

So that's me...a little tired but hell alive in my mind and determination. No more circles i take myself round with each passing day.

Maybe my time is now ☺

Today i will defo won't gamble...and neither tomorrow..you can go all four ways mr EX Gamble

S x

Hey S

Great post to read you have installed gamblock, and are out on the town tonight, get your dancing shoes on girl and you show them, because you are soooooo worth it .

Sxxxxxxxxx